A couple of weeks ago, when my cell phone (endearingly named Dino, since it was probably manufactured during the Jurassic Period) finally went kaput, I sprang for one of those nifty phones with the keyboard - for optimal texting, as the salesperson put it. Since I’d been growing increasingly fond of texting, I figured the keyboard feature would make sending out messages more convenient. But little did I know that I was about to go from casual messenger to a total texting addict.

Yes, I admit it. I really, really like to text. I do it all the time: under the table at restaurants, during the previews of movies. Sometimes I even stop in transit to send out a text (I don’t have the hand-eye coordination to walk and text at the same time. Not yet, at least). While I try not to be rude with my texting, I can’t help but love this new development in communication.

But before you condemn me to the ring of hell reserved for the intellectually degenerating and socially awkward teenage population, hear me out. As an aspiring writer and self-proclaimed grammar Nazi, there are some lines I refuse to cross when it comes to texting. I never use abbreviations, except for the occasional “lol.” With my old phone, that made writing out one text an all-day affair, but with my handy keyboard, it’s a snap. And that annoying, pointless one-word text that makes you want to reach into your phone and punch the person who sent it? I won’t send it. Ever. I get way too many of them as it is; I won’t subject any of my friends to that type of agony.

My reason for texting is restricted to simple convenience. Read More »

The picture you have just witnessed is not a reenactment. It’s an actual shot, taken by my equally-disturbed friend, of a comment made by a professor on an assignment of mine.

…Excuse me?

But the trauma doesn’t end there.

I obviously set the picture as my default on Facebook, and then two days later received a friend request from the teacher.

Wait, I’m sorry–WHAT?!

Since this unfortunately isn’t the first time I’ve encountered either problem, it’s subsequently been the last straw. The way I see it, there are two major problems in this situation:

1) If, in my papers, I’m not writing “haha” after a witty comment, or “OMG!” following a shocking statistic, the professor has no right to use Internet jargon in his or her grading. It’s college, and there needs to be some sort of reciprocated academic professionalism.

2) Professors and their current students should not be Facebook friends. Not only does it break down the fourth wall, it seriously messes up the dynamic of the student-teacher relationship. Facebook and MySpace are web sites I will post ramblings about my day and pictures from my weekend–things that have no relation to my class or relevance to my professor. Read More »

My boyfriend dumped me.

Well, maybe it wasn’t so much that he “dumped me” as he “never responded to any of my Craigslist ads.” And maybe he wasn’t so much my “boyfriend” as he is the 4 million or so guys in the Tri-State area who never responded to my post. I mean, one of them could be *the one,* and if he weren’t such a pussy we could be married right now with five boys and five girls.

Hmmm. Maybe I should leave that last sentence out of my next ad.

I shouldn’t be so down on posting a Craigslist ad for a date. You can learn so much by doing so. For example, did you know that guys named Remington still exist and you ONLY meet them through Craigslist?

And then there’s Jared. Sweet, earnest Jared. Jared who started his response to my ad with the philosophical “I don’t know what I want to do with my life …. but I recently discovered who I am.” I sometimes wish I knew what that was, Jared. But I still don’t regret throwing your email in the virtual garbage. Read More »