Listen clearly: I don’t want this to discourage you girls in LDRs or in any relationship for that matter, but something happened to me that is absolutely mortifying and humiliating and just unbelievable.

I’m the girl that was in an on-and-off relationship with a guy for eight years. Eight years. Eight long years of ups and downs, break ups, makeup sex, happy times, sad times, etc. He was my best friend. This year things changed a bit; I started college and he moved across the country. But we knew we’d be ok; we lasted this long didn’t we?

Before I left for school I visited him for three wonderful weeks. It was all lovey dovey and perfect. He was constantly telling me tat he loved me like he has for eight years, and we were going to get married, and blah blah blah.

When I got to college (about a month ago), I realized how much I disliked the school and told him how I wanted to go to New York next semester. He was really supportive and reminded me I could always transfer out there. Awww.

And then I didn’t hear from him for a few days. And then a few more days went on without contact. So I started to freak out. When I finally got a hold of him he told me we were fine, he missed me and loved me, and not to worry. So I didn’t; I figured we were back to normal.

But apparently we weren’t. No phone calls, no texts. He didn’t answer my calls or my texts. I was being ignored. I sent a long text explaining that he should want to talk to me because I was his girlfriend, and we needed to talk things out. I told him how I wasn’t mad (even though I was furious), and I just wanted to talk to my boyfriend. No answer. I got drunk (great solution to everything, eh?) and ended up calling fifteen times and sending four texts (according to my call log). Again, no answer. Read More »

God, it feels good to be single again. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years, and I know that this move solidified my future as an old maid. I know I’ll never find a guy more perfect for me than my ex, and that I’ll probably die alone. But, damn, it feels good to be single.

When you’re single, it can be hard to sit back and watch your attached girlfriends in their romantic endeavors. They get flowers from their boyfriends; they always have a date to a party; they have someone to cuddle with in the morning. But they also don’t have the opportunities that you have as an independent woman.

My (ex)boyfriend and I had been doing the long-distance thing for a while. I am currently trying to find my career path, but I had to keep trying to get a job close to him. This eliminated a plethora of job opportunities for me. When you get ready to graduate college, you can move anywhere you want or take any job that’s offered to you.

The girls who are involved have to make their life decisions with their partner. True, they can opt for the long-distance thing, but that still makes moving much harder than it does for you, the single gal with no emotional baggage.

Since reemerging onto the singles scene, I’ve also been feeling less stressed. Personally, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately, and I felt like even the daily “goodnight” phone call was cutting into what little time I have to spend on everything else. It takes effort to make a relationship work. True, it’s great to have a boyfriend to vent to or to seek reassurance from, but when you are trying to balance jobs, school, extracurriculars, and other responsibilities, sometimes it’s nice to be able to focus on you without feeling selfish. Read More »

Here at CC, our opinions on love, sex and relationships cover pretty much the whole spectrum of ideals (and according to the fantastic discussions amongst commentors, so do yours, lovely readers). However I think we can all agree that long distance relationships are difficult.

Whether you are a serial LDD-er (long distance dater, obvs) or this is your first case of separation anxiety, remember that a summer break is not a relationship death sentence, but more of a Paris-esque mini lockdown with time off for good behavior!

The most important aspect of a long distance relationship (as in any other healthy one) is communication. Beyond the obvious (calling, texting, IMing), it’s important to create an open channel of expression that allows you both to clearly explain your thoughts, feelings and, most importantly, expectations throughout this relationship vacation (not the Speidi version).

Before you two lovebirds separate, talk about the impending geographical issue. Discuss how you’re feeling about it (nervous? anxious? scared?) and why. Bring up your thoughts on the social scene and parties. I’m not a believer in strict rules governing your right to party (thank you, Beastie Boys) but your definition of a good time might be quite different from his (Is it ok to flirt shamelessly but innocently for free drinks? Are you cool with a night at the strip club with his boys?). By talking about problems like wandering eyes or drifting apart before they happen, you can easily avoid them. And by establishing a sitch where you can freely talk about stuff like that will help you stay secure in your union. Read More »

I’m 10 days deep into a summer fling of the best kind.

Him: A good friend (we’ll call him Fred) I’ve had a thing for, for years. He just got back from studying abroad and the ocean air and warm weather treated him very well.

I kind of thought our first encounter in the bedroom was a one-time occurrence. A tipsy romp between the sheets that was very memorable, but a sexual outlier…that is until it happened again the next night.

And again two nights later.

To the untrained eye, nothing is different. No awkward conversations, no weirdness whatsoever and the sex is nothing short of mind blowing. So where’s the problem?

He is my best friend’s ex-boyfriend. Read More »

Unless you’ve been in a long-distance relationship before, it’s hard to understand just how difficult they can be. My boyfriend and I have been long-distance for most of our 2½ years together, and I still go nuts sometimes.

Whether you’ve left someone behind, been left behind, or just have somebody special in another zip code, use these tips to take your long-distance relationship from surviving to thriving.

1. Talk.
This one may seem obvious, but sometimes it’s hard to hold an actual conversation on the phone. The minutes will fill up with “Yeah”s and “What did you do today?”s, but are we really actually saying anything?

Just like regular couples, long-distance shippers have problems that need to be worked out. When your BF or GF isn’t around to remind you of those problems all the time, it gets easier and easier to avoid working them out. To keep a long-distance relationship healthy and alive, you can’t be afraid to open up dialogue. Read More »

The other night, one of my friends asked me a startling question: “Can I kiss you?”

Caught way, way off - guard, I stammered and sputtered and eventually mustered out a meek “no,” and offered to let him walk me home as a consolation prize.

Truthfully, I was intrigued. And tempted. Very tempted. But it’s complicated, because I like someone else. And I am “dating” him. But he lives in another country. At first it was romantic, but now it just kinda blows. I’m finding it hard to maintain my loyalty. The truth is, although I like the guy, I’m easily distracted by what’s going on right in front of me. Which includes cute guys asking permission to make out.

So, um, if a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, does it actually happen? Where is the loyalty clause in the relationship contract? How do you cope with these moral quandaries?

My friend Damien has been with his boyfriend for about nine months now, and they are in l - o - v - e. But today he told me that in a few weeks he’ll be going to Seattle for an internship, and during his stay he wants to be “a total slut.” For the second time in a week, I was rendered speechless. “What about your boyfriend??” I asked. Read More »