Lately there has been a lot of talk of Promise Rings as a sort of pre-engagement commitment. I just can’t seem to grasp this whole trend.

A promise ring?

Maybe it’s all the religious hype that typically surrounds them, or maybe I don’t understand what the promise is, exactly (a promise to love each other? To save yourself for that person? To not cheat or stray?), but they just don’t make sense to me.

I thought being in a committed relationship meant all that already, so why a promise ring?

People have told me I’m unromantic and cold, but here’s the thing: I’m not unromantic. I’m a realist. I believe people fall hard and then get hurt hard. I also, however, truly believe that people do fall in love, but I don’t think all the hoopla is necessary in order to prove or show it.

I, personally, don’t think it’s necessary to use a piece of jewelry to prove your love for someone. Some may argue that the jewelry is a symbol of your love, but I think actions and emotions expressed are sufficient enough. My boyfriend and I love each other, but a ring isn’t what I need in order to keep our love in my heart. Read More »

When CC recently published a post about long-term relationships, I was really impressed by the lengths of time some of you guys divulged you’ve been with your partners. Rock on! I see how the single life can be fun, but as a girl who really would rather poke her eyes out with Popsicle sticks than have a different hookup every week, it’s so nice to know that there are others out there who are happy with their long-term relationships.

People say life is boring when you’re in a really long relationship, but who are they kidding? Personally, I’ve never been happier. I love my long-term relationship because:

1. I have a built-in best friend.
Probably not everyone is best friends with their significant other, but I think a lot of people in long-term relationships are. I don’t always think about my boyfriend in a romantic way—sometimes I just think of him as someone who I want to call and share my good news with or someone who I want to hang out with because I know for sure that he can make me laugh. He’s always there for me, and not just as somebody to love, but as a true best friend.

2. I don’t have to be perfect.
When you’re in it for the long haul, you don’t always have to put your best foot forward. I remember having first (and second, and third) dates with people where I felt like I had to try my best to be funny and pretty and all-around wonderful. Since I have been with my boyfriend for several years and countless dates, both he and I know that I’m not always that way (he isn’t perfect, either, of course), and we’re OK with that. Sometimes I’m grumpy or rude or not very good-looking, and he just doesn’t care. It makes me feel so happy. Read More »

I have been in a relationship for over 4 1/4 years. I mean, with one guy.

That’s right: I have gone out with, made out with, slept with only one man since I was 19 (before that…well, let’s not go there). And we’ve lived together since I was 21.

I mean, it sounds kind of lame. One guy over and over for most of my adult formative years…how could I possibly have time to grow as a person? Easy–by following these simple (and unspoken) rules:

(1) Don’t merge personalities
You know those couples who are attached at the hip? Don’t be that couple.
First of all, everyone else hates them.
But, more importantly, it kind of limits your ability to become a person on your own terms. For sure, do lots of things together. But do some things apart, too. Don’t let either one of you have all the control in the relationship, and certainly don’t spend all of your time lounging on the couch and doing nothing year after year.
Frankly, those kinds of relationships end in breakup… or homicide. Read More »