As if I weren’t a big enough sinner already, last week, the Pope released his new list of Things That Will Make God Super Pissed.

I’ve been using the Lord’s name in vain and partying hard on Sundays for a while now. So I already knew I’d bought my ticket to Hell, but thanks to The Pope, I’ve got a first class seat now on an express train to the fiery flames of evil.

Here are the new sins that were literally INVENTED this week. (By the way, who really believes this sh*t anymore?)

YOU ARE NOW A SINNER IF…

-You support bioethical violations; like birth control (CHECK) Read More »