What happens when you combine mediocre fiction with a lame film script and a girl who has a hard time being believable in anything?

You get The Nanny Diaries.

Apparently, Scarlett Johansson’s new movie is not just bad, but super bad (and not in that funny, quirky movie of the same title way). Critics everywhere are devouring it and spitting it back out, leaving only the incorporable Laura Linney unscathed. They say she does a good job being a rich bitch.

Everyone else? Horrible.

ScarJo included. Critics picked apart everything from her “leaden screen presence” to her “flustered mannerisms that smack of one too many Woody Allen projects” (seriously, the guy loves her. It’s weird).

As someone who hasn’t been able to believe Ms. Johansson in almost anything she’s done since Lost in Translation, I can’t say I’m surprised.

She’s hot, I’ll give her that, but I’m not sure a family comedy is her forte. I’m not even sure comedy is her forte. She smolders, sure. But she doesn’t pop. Or make me laugh. Ever.

Plus, even though the book was a bestseller, it certainly wasn’t literary gold. You can’t just cut up a beach read and put it on the screen, especially when you’re dealing with issues like class, money, and absentee parenting. Read More »

It seems that you can’t make your way through Hollywood without tripping over a Coppola. Though their names are generally disguised , and it is often hard to see the resemblance. The more Francis Ford relatives are spawned, the more careers seem to be thriving. Nicholas Cage boldly dropped his prestigious last name in anticipation of an independent persona, Jason Schwartzman is a Coppola cousin, also related to actress Talia Shire, and actor/director Roman.

But we mustn’t forget the prodigal daughter Sofia. You must forgive my bias opinion when discussing the topic of this Oscar winning writer/director. Visually, I find her films stunning, yet there is a drawback to creating a series of pretty pictures; when they begin to move they just don’t make sense.

Of course, deriving from one of the greatest filmmakers in recent history provides every technical advantage you could imagine, as well as more immediate funding for films that would otherwise be tossed aside. With such a shortage of truly gifted female directors, I find her hipster acclaimed montages scored by post punk and emo ballads to be sort of pointless all together.

Yes, my distaste for Lost In Translation has stirred quite a few vicious arguments among self proclaimed film buffs. But in all honesty, watching Scarlett Johansson and Bill Murray discuss a shirt for twenty five minutes in a series of long drawn out shots and very little dialogue made me, by the end of the movie, consider the outcome of the Virgin Suicides as a viable option. Read More »