More women attend liberal arts colleges than men, women’s salaries continue to grow and, as Hillary Clinton said in a recent speech, “the glass ceiling now has eighteen million cracks in it.” What does that mean?

It means, as a woman of the new millennium, you’re likely to date a guy who is (not to sound too demeaning) a few rungs below you on the ladder to lifelong success. As someone who has dated her fair share of men who lack any aspirations (my disapproving dad calls them slackers), I know a thing or two about these types of boys. I’ve learned many lessons, which I will now share with you if you’re at all interested in pursuing, or continuing, a relationship with one of these self-declared duds.

Let’s begin with the upside. Guys who aren’t busting their balls at work in order to get a better job or a higher wage are more likely to be attentive and available to you. (More time for massages? Count me in!) They tend to be calmer, more easy going, and, most likely, able to hang out more often.

Unfortunately, that’s about it in terms of the pro’s. So, let’s look at the downside and, more importantly, how to deal with it. Read More »

It sounds like a dream: lazing in bed until eleven, having sex in the middle of the day, scoping out your city’s best happy hours in the early evening with your man. This is the life of those unemployed and in a relationship. But there’s a dark side, a very dark side, and it’s called the Wii.

My friend Veronica (not her real name) is in the middle of such a slacker paradise. She’s temporarily living at home until she can relocate with her boyfriend to an as-of-yet unknown locale, she was recently laid off from a job she hated anyway, and she’s one of the only people I know who doesn’t freak out in a situation like this. But as someone looking on at her life and her relationship from a slight distance, I’m freaking out on her behalf.

Her boyfriend recently bought a Wii, that addictive gaming console that lets you bowl or play tennis by swinging a white remote around and looking like a moron. I love my friend, and I love that she’s so comfortable with her boyfriend that she can hang out with him in her pajamas, and I love that he finds her sexy even when she doesn’t shower. But I think there’s a fine line between being comfortable with your other and being stuck in a rut.

Veronica and her boyfriend have long been turning into the same person. First, it was their jokes, sometimes funny, sometimes offensive, as if they were nudging each other on. Now, it’s their attitudes towards life, a blasé, things-will-work-out-on-there-own attitude that seems to magnify the longer they are together. This may sound as if I don’t like them together, but that’s actually not true. He’s a good person and he treats her well, and I wish I could be as relaxed and go-with-the-flow as she is, but I’m not, so I worry.

The risk of the slacker dream is real. Read More »