There is much to be said for Emily Post. She wrote the book (literally) on manners and standardized etiquette customs for the general public. I adore her books full of old fashioned advice, and while some of it is still relevant, much of it is dated. I constantly wonder what kind of place our society would be if Emily were still around to impose properness upon us all.

Unfortunately, she is not–as evidenced by many of my college classmates.

We’ve all seen those people in class: the ones who act like they’re too important to be there, don’t care what the professor has to say, rudely answer their phones and are generally a disturbance to those of us trying to learn. If you are an incoming freshman you probably haven’t witnessed such obvious rudeness, and you most certainly do not want to become one of said rude people. So, read on, my pretties, and enter the world of higher education with grace, manners and –ahem–class (haha…)

Don’t Be Cell-fish.
Gone are the days when your cell phone was contraband (absurd, I know). Instead of focusing on your under-desk texting (ala your dinosaur of an AP Chem teacher), your professor will most likely be concentrating on imparting you with knowledge during your class sessions. So this means you can feel free to text, Blackberry message, IM away with your cell held at –gasp–eye level, right?! Wrong! Your professor has assumed (rightfully, I hope) that you are a respectful and mature person who is attending (and paying for) their class to learn something useful from him or her. Do not prove them wrong by blatantly expressing that you have better things to do. Read More »

With the economy in a serious downturn (thanks to the Wall Street Hangover, apparently), smart college women like ourselves know better than to hit the malls and stock up on the latest fashion. We have to save! We have to buy gas! We have to invest in our futures!

But, there are just some things out there that are worth a little splurge. Sure, you may not be able to buy corn products next week, but who cares? You have yourself one of these babies:

1. An iPod.
I’m sure half of you already have iPods, but I’m also sure there are a few of you out there who are like me… unwilling to fork over the dough because you’re cheap and/or poor. Well, let me tell you, investing in an iPod is the way to go. After forking over the dough for something REALLY huge (a new computer), I got a free iPod touch, and wow. Just wow. The future is here. I can’t even fathom getting to access the Internet for free on a device that also plays music and lets me take notes, get the weather, and watch movies… it’s so awesome.

2. A new computer.
After eight years (serious) of lugging around an outdated Mac laptop, I took a deep breath and hit the “purchase” button last week for a new MacBook Pro. My old computer was still working… it was like a tortoise in terms of speed, though, and it wasn’t really capable of streaming video. Oh, yeah, and the total hard drive capacity was 9 GB. My new computer, I am already convinced, is the best investment I’ve ever made. I can Skype! I can load Web pages in under the amount of time it takes me to make a sandwich! I can listen to podcasts! With my old Mac, podcasts were something strange and exotic that I had heard about but never experienced. If you too are toiling away on an ancient computer, GET A NEW ONE! It is sooooo worth it! Read More »

Three days ago, I returned from the first ever Rothbury Festival in Rothbury, Michigan – a 5-day musical event featuring an eclectic range of music, from Dave Matthews to Disco Biscuits to Snoop Dogg. I’m exhausted, my feet are calloused & my cheeks are sunburnt (& freckly!), and maybe it was just all the booze, greenery & glow sticks, but my little spirit is renewed.

After spending a night chillaxin’ in Sherwood Forrest, letting my fatigued body sink into a colorful hammock for two and talk for hours with one of my new best friends over cocktails in combustible corn cups, I knew it was time for a change. A huge, life-changing, effortful change. Something about spending the weekend surrounded by happy, empowering, inspirational people (albeit a little dirty & drugged-up) was a huge, magical, sparkly slap in the face that it’s time for me to conquer, one-by-one, all the things I want to in life.

So, without further adieu, here is my list of sweet stuff I wanna learn.

1. How to give a kick-a** massage. I am OBSESSED with massages. I try to con all my boyfriends, friends, (even boy friends!) to give me little shoulder, back or foot massages (perfect after a long day at work…or shopping). However, I am just as inclined to return the favor because I know how ridiculously nice (and/or orgasm-inducing) a massage can be.

2. How to make sweet jewelry. I used to be the baddest b*tch on the block because I could make friendship bracelets with any color of the rainbow out of any type of string. Unfortunately, I haven’t practiced my art for about, oh, 10 years & I think it’s time for me to get back in the game. But, I sure will have a lot of catching up to do. Read More »

On the new iPhone you can call your friends, listen to the new Beck album, send emails, Google ex-boyfriends, and even navigate your way to the closest coffee shop for a caffeine fix. The days of finding a payphone and then realizing that you’re out of quarters are long, looooong gone. Even announcements about turning off cell phones and pagers make us snicker.

I’d like to take this opportunity (5:30pm on a Tuesday sitting in a Starbucks…) to thank the techie gods for these five technological innovations I can’t imagine my life without:

1) The Laptop – I wouldn’t even be here, sitting in this Starbucks at 5:30pm on a Tuesday if it weren’t for the laptop. Mine is a black MacBook. It’s light, sleek, fast, and now that I’ve got a new battery, it holds a five-hour charge. As a writer I can’t even imagine what it must have been like to have to write papers, even novels, on typewriters. Writing a page and then realizing that there was a spelling error? The horror! Being stuck in a home office or computer lab in order to use a desktop computer? Never again! Read More »

For all intents and purposes, I am a pretty confident gal. I think my personality is the bomb.com, I am funny, I have a great haircut and – when I put on enough makeup – I can look pretty damn good.

But, just like any normal person, I have my insecurities. I am not as skinny as the other girls out at the bar, my boobs are a little…well…little, and no matter how good I look, I know there are Barbie look alikes all around me.

So, I must wonder why on earth I keep finding myself in the arms of some ridiculously good looking guys. Like, the guy you admire from afar but never talk to because you know he’s got a Heidi Klum lookin’ GF on the other side. The same exact guys who would never give me a second look, let alone an orgasm when I was in school.

I am not complaining – far from it – but I just don’t understand why suddenly these sexy, tall, sexy, way out of my league (did I mention sexy?) guys keep wanting me. What is different now from then? Read More »

Ben and Jen: Super Fertile.

Too cloudy to go to the beach? Add these 80’s classics to your Netflix queue.

Exclusive look at the crazy new script from Tarantino. Awww yeah!

Nothing ruins a day at the beach quite like a shark. And I really needed a tan!

The new iPhone is out. We are not too happy about it, but what do the critics say?

Teen pregnancy on the up and up for the first time in over a decade. Could this be Juno’s doing?

Also on the rise, Wal-Mart stores. They. Are. Everywhere.

As if TV couldn’t get any worse - Nicole Richie gets another show.

2 words that should never go together: orgasmic and childbirth. Yes, there is a video.

Maybe this will inspire you to recycle. Think of the dolphins, people!

Gender equality on the road at last! Well, at least on the signs. Baby steps, ladies; baby steps.

Dear Steve Jobs,

I have had my iPhone for almost a year now. I love it. I love how bright the screen is, I love how much it can do and I love having everything I need in the palm of my hand. In fact, I also love my MacBook. I am an Apple girl to the core (no pun intended…I am NOT in the mood for jokes right now).

At least, I was until this morning. All week everyone has been talking about 2 things: the new (faster, cheaper, better) iPhone and all the new applications that would be available for both iPhones. Being a current user, I didn’t care much about the new phone (except for the fact that it is FASTER, CHEAPER and BETTER…thankyouverymuch), but I couldn’t wait to get my hands on some of the fun new things I’d be able to download.

So, I woke up this morning, plugged in my phone and installed the new updates. As it was all loading up and getting ready I shopped the new App Store and planned what I was going to buy. Crosswords! Blackjack! So many fun games!

But wait. That wasn’t going to happen for me. No, because my phone got JACKED UP. Completely wiped. Unable to be recognized by my computer. Totally. un-useable.

I had a brief meltdown that included tears, a donut (you owe me a dollar) and a lot of profanity before I composed myself enough to get to the nearest Apple store for some Genius help. And, of course, that was a bust too. Because there were 4,000 people in line trying to buy the new iPhone and, OF COURSE, no one was able to do tech support today. Read More »

We all know that David Beckham is too. hot. for. words. And we wouldn’t turn down a romp in the sack with Brad Pitt, Will Smith or Jason Bateman. But, there is something to be said for the nerdy boys. They are sweet, smart and totally under-rated.

I have always held a soft-spot in my heart for the underdogs, and techy, nerdy boys are no exception. So, I am bringing to you the hottest nerds out there.

These boys give nerdery a verrry good name.

Read More »

You know those mornings. The ones when you and your girlfriends gather from your various places of shacking over lots of water and ibuprofen to remind each other of the hilarity that went down the night before. Amid all of the laughter (and reviewing of pictures….to jog your memory), you suddenly realize just what happened: the worst thing ever. And it was horrible. And it may or may not have been one of these:

5. A lost wallet and/or clutch. This is particularly disturbing because it is usually the first thing that hits you in the morning, well before you’ve had any time to nurse the hangover you earned. It feels very similar to being on a deserted island that smells strongly of vodka and lime. You are cell-less, cutting off contact with the outside world. With credit card whereabouts unknown and no proof of identity, you are left defenseless against fraud. If you are underage, there is the heavy burden of finding a new fake i.d. The brand new lip gloss and powder from MAC that you inevitably JUST bought are gone forever. Worst of all, your dear, loyal, and perfectly fashionable clutch will never be wedged into your armpit for pictures or table dancing ever again. R.I.P. Limited edition Coach Python and Boucle clutch. You will be missed.

4. The guy you went home with. Okay, last night this guy was h-o-t! He was witty and charming and so attentive to your needs; not once did he let you have an empty glass! Whether you met him at the pre-party, the bar, or on the way home (never a good sign), this dude - who seemed like a great idea at the time - is now nothing more than a big (or worse, tiny) mistake. Often, this error in judgment will use trickery and promises of rides on his family’s yacht to get you home with him, but come morning all he can offer is a ride home…if you’re lucky. High-tail it out of there and head to the nearest health clinic to make sure all he has given you is a bad memory. Read More »

John Mayer + Perez Hilton = oddly intriguing

Pee like a dude…virtually

I hope ScarJo’s album is better than its cover

Wait no more to see your Johnny Depp lovechild

Bobby Brown: still crazy

The mother of all ‘yo mama’ jokes

Richard Simmons is amazing

Another reason I hate happy couples

Jeff Goldblum thinks you should buy a Mac

Would you let Obama call you sweetie?