According to a recent study in the UK, the weight of a woman will fluctuate in stages over the course of her relationship.

I know what you are thinking: who needs a study to figure this out? I agree, ladies, and so do my fat jeans.

But while we all know how quickly we turn to ice cream when our BF breaks up with us, I don’t think anyone has really given much thought to the many stages of a college relationship and how they affect our bodies.

Mostly, by making us fat.

The following are typical gains and losses over the course of a rather tumultuous college relationship. Weigh in (haha) on what makes you fluctu-weight. (See what I did there? Yeah, I’m good.):

Lose 5 pounds when we first meet the man - after that one-nighter in the bathroom we want to make sure we are hot enough to keep him from doing that with anyone else.

Gain 5 pounds back when the boy starts sleeping over and we know he’s all ours.

Gain another 5 pounds (in cake) when we find out that man has indeed taken another girl to the bathroom our special place.

Lose 15 pounds due to too-depressed-to-eat syndrome/”Just wait until he sees me now!” Read More »

How many times have you talked about it with your friends or even your partner, extolling the virtues of ‘make-up sex?’

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I recall Sex and the City dedicating an entire episode to this very subject. Before getting into the nitty-gritty of why this foodie believes that make-up sex stinks, I want to make two things clear. First, I am not denouncing make-up sex. If it works for you and your partner, go for it! By all means! As for me, a self-declared foodie, I’d rather mend things over appetizers and a well-shaken martini. Second, and you can all breath a sigh of relief, I refuse to moralize about the matter. Instead, I wanna put forth an epicure’s perspective, and hopefully entice those “jump-in-the-bed-as-soon-as-he-says-sorry” types to consider this option. Read More »

Looks like we’re not the only ones whose summer agenda revolves around getting a decent sun tan, female prisoners in Gothenburg, Sweden have decided to fight for their, uh, right… to wear bikinis and sunbathe (I think that falls somewhere in between freedom of assembly and that one about arms). Even in jail, these girls demand to stay sexy, can’t argue with that.

Besides, if make-up sex is as treasured as it is, I’m sure there’s nothing better than “I’m out of the slammer can you believe it’s been three to five years” sex. Come on, no sane ex-felon would want to be pasty and pale for that.

Since bikinis are not standard issue prison clothing (surprised?), inmates are claiming that they are being sexually discriminated. The girls argue that male inmates can simply take off their shirt and get a well balanced glow while female prisoners don’t have that same luxury.

These fiesty jailbirds are currently petitioning the local prison council, and attempting to challenge them with sex discrimination charges.

Crafty, ladies! Read More »