We heard him say…he’s the voice of our generation?

New ladies are taking the reigns tonight on SNL.

Mariah wears holiday lingerie on her own.

Lindsay still likes dudes, and wants Sam to be okay with that.

Angelina giving up acting?

So hot right now: zipper booties!l

Will Spencer please STFU?!

Un-effable names for dudes.

There are no words for Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey’s couple costume…

Au natural must-haves…

David Caruso is the celebrity douchbag o’ the week!

Someone was attacked by a liger…seriously they exist.

Seth Rogan wants to do porn with Jonah Hill…

Grossest Halloween candy ever!!

Mineral Makeup: Too legit to quit, or too good to be true?

Elections are right around the corner..what we really need a chick in office

When is the right time to show your BF your…crazy side?

Creepy cocktails for Halloween! Yum!!!

In this episode, the Lohans FINALLY get to Vegas! They didn’t fly there in a private jet though, which I’m gonna admit was a bit of a let down (I expected some major control issues and perhaps Dina’s debut as a pilot), and there was no liquor fueled dramz. While the episode was age appropriately absent of hard booze, it was heavy on the whine.

For some reason, Ali chooses to adopt an even more nasally tone for this 25 minute tribute to ungratefulness. She complains in this obnoxious tantrum pending voice about all of the trials life has delivered to her. Like the fact that she, her awesome brother and (arguably) cool mom have to live in a tricked out penthouse at the Palms while she records her album. I guess it gets pretty taxing when you’re attending all of these exhausting “Welcome to Vegas!” parties (with delicious looking cake) thrown just for you by the f*#king Maloufs.

Ugh, sorry about that. Anyways, Dina introduces Ali (who is wearing a gorgeous but way too mature minidress) to a bunch of important 30 something guys that she wants Ali to “get comfortable with.” Dina baby, they’re mentally undressing your 14 year old — not very comfort inducing, I would say. The men all flirt with Ali while she fidgets, present her the aforementioned cake (note to self, go buy something with chocolate as soon as I’m done writing) and begin an episode long tradition of complimenting Ali and promising her she’s the next big thing. Read More »

Sometimes I dream about having a sugar daddy. I could shop ’till my little heart’s content. Oh the clothes, mansions, jewelry, and more (so much more!). But I’ve never stopped to think that guys might be dreaming of finding a sugar mama, though I suppose it makes sense.

What guy wouldn’t want a woman to buy him cars, bling, and houses? Especially if that woman is hot.

Well, Nick Cannon’s dream just came true. And he’s taking full advantage of it. Since he married the super-sexy 38-year-old Mariah Carey in April, he’s been spending her dough like it’s going out of style. 27-year-old Cannon has been stocking up on designer duds and was even seen test-driving a $120,000 Maserati Quattroporte. And according to insiders, it’s all on Mariah’s dime (or millions of dimes).

According to a “friend” of Mariah’s, Cannon’s wedding band isn’t even classy; “It’s garish and tacky — and yet another example of Nick’s extravagance at Mariah’s expense.” Come on, Nick, if you’re gonna be spending her money, at least buy some pretty things! Read More »

So Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are married. Reasons this is awesome:

1) Cannon quote: “Since we’ve been together, we’ve been inseparable,” i.e. 6 weeks. Incidentally, I got my new American Apparel dress around the same time the couple started dating, and we too have been inseparable. Perhaps it’s time we tied the knot? I’ve always wanted children, and we’re not getting any younger…

2) Mariah Carey is 48, and Nick Cannon is 17. I also heard a rumor that Nick Cannon was created in a lab from a strand of Carey’s hair and grape soda. All facts.

3) They celebrated their wedding by renting out a Six Flags Magic Mountain for a reported six figures. (On Cannon’s tab, not like it frickin’ matters. He is clearly the one marrying up in the situation.)

4) At said celebration, Mariah Carey had hair and makeup stylists on hand to fix her up after every ride. Mmmm, bottom-of-the-barrel self-esteem issues and rampant navel-gazing…exactly what I look for in a mate. Read More »

You know, I kind of like Mr. and Mrs. Mariah Carey

Before you blow $80 on a bra, Mr. Big has something to say

Every Simpsons couch gag. Ever.

I. Hate. Hipsters.

We live in a world that has created kitty tanning beds

Maxim says Ashley is 47th hottest woman, but what about Mary-Kate? Oh, nevermind…

Heath Ledger Joker dolls are big-sell, but what about Cher Barbie?

Who keeps encouraging Lindsay Lohan’s music career?!

Oh, maybe it’s the award-winning Mama Lohan

50 greatest commercial parodies/highlights from SNL

These days, the radio is a serious disappointment. I long for the days when the number one hit was Mariah Carey singing Vision Of Love (I’m sorry but that sh*t was QUALITY). When I listen to say…something like, “This Is Why I’m Hot”, I find myself feeling so incredibly–unhot. Instead, I feel ashamed for listening to junk. Listening to most of the todays Top 40 tunes is like eating a Big Mac.

So, I’m going to bring you MY version of the good stuff, old school style, spanning several decades. Holla!

1. She’s Got A Way and Piano Man- Billy Joel
Ok, if you really want to go there….just buy a Greatest Hits album, so worth it.

2. Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves- Cher
Yeah, Cher. And no, I’m not a gay man.

3. I Have Nothing- Whitney Houston
Whitney would MURDER any of those American Idol b*tches. Read More »

Cory Matthews is, and forever will be, my dream man.

Mom, can I please go to Camp Rock this summer?!

Help make “Another Stakeout” become another cult hit

Of course Mariah Carey has a 3,000 sq. ft. lingerie closet

Would you hook up with the Office Casanova?

…Because Hayden Pannetierre says it’s wrong…

This is why I’m afraid to try pranks

Want to catch some friends this weekend?

This video makes me really homesick

Learn to play Ysketball