Tatum O’Neal pulls both the “Don’t you know who I am?” AND “I’m just researching a role” card

The Jezebels Liveblog the rather underwhelming MTV Movie Awards

Away Message Breakup

Any internet hackers out there want to grant my biggest wish and take this site down?

National Masturbation Month may have ended, but when has that ever stopped you before?

Radiohead may be right, but Prince is crazy. Plus he’s Prince. …Just give up now, RH.

All M. Night Shyamalan wants is for Hollywood to F*ck off. I just want M. Night to make a movie that doesn’t suck.

Read Nabokov on your lunch hour. Impress everyone

Shaken, not stirred.

Cameron and Diddy? Whatever.

That bitch wore my famous Nini Ricci expensive dress! I hope she dies.

[Chasing Chastity is a series by C. Ryder. You can read Parts I, II, and III here!]

“Well, thanks again for lunch, Jack.”

“Sure.” He looked at his watch. “Oh, sh*t, I have a meeting. Gotta go!”

“Bye.” He scurried off, leaving me alone in a cafeteria filled with chattering secretaries and yawing businessmen - the tables were divided according to sex. I NEED A
DRINK. THIS BIZ WORLD . . . UGH., I thought sullenly.

As soon as I walked through the front door of our Tudor home, I could see that Jack had contacted me through gmail chat. I poured myself some scotch into a crystal tumbler, sighed with frustration, and sat at my husband’s wooden desk.

Jack: hey
me: hey. What’s up?
Jack: just glad to see that you got home safe
me: thanks
Jack: ok, gotta go
me: all right then, have a good day
Jack: by the way, you looked very nice today…glad to see that the retail worked for your already lovely image

me: well, i try
Jack: good job! let’s have a dinner date next week. Cara is gonna be out of town, and i’m dyin’ to buy you a martini!
me: thanks

Thinking that our conversation was over, I stood up, patted my dog’s head, and headed to the bathroom. But Jack pinged me again.

Jack: if only i were younger, and we were both single! Read More »

I do not think I’m an alcoholic. I do, however, feel like I’ve racked myself up some pretty reliable points for drinking frequently, and usually for free, in New York City.

I’m in a band. And all of my friends are in bands. You know what that means? It means shows…which means drinks. And my friends who aren‘t musicians, who work in offices, tend to like to buy me rounds at Happy Hour time–which usually precedes one of those aforementioned shows.

These factors combined with my sometimes modeling and myopenbar.com lead to a steady intake of alcohol on my part. And REALLY, I am okay with this.

However, I woke up today feeling especially hung over. My stomach felt like I imagine it would if it were working diligently to digest batteries. My makeup was caked across my pillowcase and the volume of god knows what kind of dirt under my nails made me afraid to look in the mirror. It was just another, typical night out on the town for me last night. Wine and beer and whiskey and martinis. Lost cash. Expensive cab rides. Shameful drunk snacking back at my apartment and finally the relief of passing out, but ONLY after an embarrassing drunk dial and even more embarrassing emotional drunk IM.

I woke up this morning and I challenged myself out loud to my roommate.

“You know what, dude? I’m gonna take the next week off from drinking.”

She laughed. Read More »

Halloween. A time for drinking, provocative costumes and YUMMY treats!

And since Halloween falls on a Wednesday, why not throw a little study break soiree?! (or maybe just a soiree- studying is so overrated)

so get on your slutty nurse/baseball player/ninja turtle costume and get into the kitchen!

Gummy Worm Ice Cubes (from Martha Stewart).
Sure this idea was made more kids but who says we can’t spruce up our vodka tonics with these creepy cubes?

What you Need:
Gummy Worms
Ice Cube Tray
Water
(and a selection of alcohol (or non alcoholic) beverages and mixers.

Directions:
Breed gummy worms in ice and infest a cold Halloween drink. Put the worms in an ice-cube tray, letting them stick out of the top and sprawl over the edges, and fill tray with water; freeze. Add cubes to a clear beverage, and watch as kids squirm with delight. Read More »

It’s just a cocktail… or is it? Relationship expert Dr. Jackie Black says your drink of choice says alot more about you than you might think.

Click on a cocktail to see what secrets your favorite beverage reveals about your inner self.

                beer                          martini                          scotch                            red wine

                 lemon drop               champagne                  cosmo                             rum and coke

There is a slight chill in the air on this fine October morning, which can mean only one thing: Fall is here. Why so chipper, you ask? Why would anyone celebrate the end of summer and embrace the coming of sweater season?

Um. Pumpkin Spiced Lattes are back at Starbucks!

I am just obsessed with these things. And if you have never had one, get over to the nearest ‘Bucks (I am sure you are a mere 10 feet from one right now) and get one. You too will be hooked and totally excited about Fall.

And in the spirit of the changing leaves and all things pumpkin-y at Starbucks, I have found for you the perfect late night compliment to my favorite espresso beverage:

The Pumpkin Pie Cocktail

This drink goes perfectly with a pair of cozy sweatpants, a warm blanket and a night at home with the girls. For a truly perfect Fall evening, throw in a little Mystic Pizza (Julia Roberts’ movie debut!) and settle in. Read More »

So in my inbox today, I got a pleasant email informing me that I had been bonked by the martini fairy…Not quite understanding what this was, I read on.

The email listed 12 truths about the drinking habits of college age girls that I found hilarious and sadly, so true.

When girls drink too much…

1.We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.

2.We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling “woohoo” is truly the sexiest move around.

3.We’ve suddenly decided that we want to kick someone’s ass and honestly believe we could do it too.

4.In our last bathroom visit, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago.

5.We start crying and telling everyone we love them soooo much.

6.We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because “oh my god! I love this song.”

Read More »