Alright, alright. We all know that I love sex. Hell, half of our readers commonly engage in calling me the S word for it. While I do love sex (FACT), I also hate the drama that comes along with my sexual partners.

Yes, I know - if I could just find a guy to stick with, it would all be easier. This is true. And maybe, just maybe, I will eventually meet a good guy who I can really rely on and want to commit to. Until then (which is off in the way distant future), I think I found a substitute.

The SaSi.

I haven’t actually tried this thing out yet, but I am deeply considering it. And once you know more about it, you most definitely will, too.

It seems as though, thanks to new technology, this little vibrator knows more about how to please women than most men do. (Editor’s Note: Which isn’t hard. Ayooooo!) SaSi has a learn mode wherein it tries all different sorts of movements. If you don’t like one, you can simply skip to the next and it remembers the ones that you prefer. The next time you use it, the SaSi will skip the stuff you hate and stick to the stuff you love. If only it were that easy with the boys…and they didn’t get all self-conscious/curled up in the fetal position and cried when you tried to guide them. Read More »

When I saw this my only thoughts were What. The. F**k?! Why, why was this permitted to be patented?

For those unfamiliar with the Rapex, it is an “anti-rape condom”. Basically, it’s a condom worn inside of you with barbs that, should any man put his hoo ha where it is not welcome, it will be stuck with barbs removable only by a doctor.

Naturally, this raises a few questions, many of which can be answered by the website’s extremely helpful FAQ section.

The first question, of course: “When should I wear the Rapex?”
According to the website I should wear it when I: “travel long distances alone, on a train, working late, going out on a date with someone you don’t know too well, going to clubs, or in any situation that you might not feel comfortable or even just not sure.” So I guess I should just be practicing constant vigilance? At no point in my day should I forget that I– as the owner of a vagina–am always susceptible to rape, and this device will always allow me to have it in the back of my mind!

Secondly, how does this change my relationship with, ya know, the other half of the human race? Well, I know I don’t have to worry about my boyfriend being hooked, “unless you are in a violent relationship and you do get raped by your husband or partner. The choice is then yours whether to wear it or not. ” Whew! Thank you Rapex, for giving me that option! Read More »

When I am not out slutting it up, I tend to spend my evenings alone watching TV, reading books and – to relieve a little stress – playing out some super sexy scenarios in my head. I crawl into bed, get under the covers with my favorite toy and imagine myself in the place I’d rather be; the man I’d rather be with.

I find sexual fantasies to be both extremely liberating and enlightening. By opening myself up to any possibility – mostly things I would never do in the flesh – I learn a lot about myself and what turns me on. I can act out entire scenarios in my head and prepare myself for new situations that may arise sometime down the road. And, of course, I get to do something a little naughty with people I would never have the opportunity to be with in real life.

Like the dad of the kids I babysit for. I know that fantasy is as cliché as they come, but there is something so sexy and forbidden about that bond between babysitter and dad. He is sexy, smart, funny, and adorable with his kids. I know it’s so wrong, but I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have him drive me home, kiss me, then take advantage of me in the back of his Mercedes. Read More »

[Editor’s Note: New York Magazine does these Sex Diaries that are sometimes cool, sometimes lame. Sometimes they’re interesting portrayals of every day life, and sometimes they make it seem like EVERYONE in New York City is having copious amounts of crazy sex — which isn’t always the case, btw. What would happen, I wondered, if some of CC’s writers blogged about their sex life for a week? Would it be cooler? Funnier? More believable?

Let’s see…]

DAY ONE
9:15 a.m.: Walking to the gym in sweatpants, a dirty wifebeater, no makeup. Get catcalled by at least fifteen people. Oh, ethnic neighborhood, you’re so charming.
12:03 p.m.: Walking home from the gym in the same gear as before, only now drenched in sweat, get catcalled by about fifteen more people. I finally tell one of them to f*ck off. It feels good. His response? “Someone needs to get laid!” I hate dudes.
11:23 p.m.: At my place of business which is, in fact, a strip club, where I am, in fact, a stripper. A scruffy but jovial old man solicits me for a trip to the VIP room, which I gladly agree to (Guaranteed $160 for a half hour? Hell yes!), but first warn him that I’m not one of those girls that do “special favors” in said room. He says that’s fine and wanders off to get more cash from the ATM.
11:43 p.m.: After about ten minutes, the old man pulls out his dick and asks me to give him a blowjob. I tell him no way in hell; I already said that’s not how I do. He tells me it’s fine, because he has a condom. I tell him he can get the f*ck out.
11:50 p.m.: After five minutes of arguing and an extra fifty bucks for being an asshole, we finish the dance and the guy behaves himself. Before we exit the room he kisses me on the cheek and tells me I’m a lovely girl. Read More »

Tatum O’Neal pulls both the “Don’t you know who I am?” AND “I’m just researching a role” card

The Jezebels Liveblog the rather underwhelming MTV Movie Awards

Away Message Breakup

Any internet hackers out there want to grant my biggest wish and take this site down?

National Masturbation Month may have ended, but when has that ever stopped you before?

Radiohead may be right, but Prince is crazy. Plus he’s Prince. …Just give up now, RH.

All M. Night Shyamalan wants is for Hollywood to F*ck off. I just want M. Night to make a movie that doesn’t suck.

Read Nabokov on your lunch hour. Impress everyone

Shaken, not stirred.

Cameron and Diddy? Whatever.

That bitch wore my famous Nini Ricci expensive dress! I hope she dies.

[Editor’s Note: New York Magazine does these Sex Diaries that are sometimes cool, sometimes lame. Sometimes they’re interesting portrayals of every day life, and sometimes they make it seem like EVERYONE in New York City is having copious amounts of crazy sex — which isn’t always the case, btw. What would happen, I wondered, if some of CC’s writers blogged about their sex life for a week? Would it be cooler? Funnier? More believable?

Let’s see…]

DAY ONE
7:05 a.m. Boyfriend wakes me up to kiss me before he goes to work, like he does every morning. Like every morning, I feel guilty about my morning breath, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
3:45 Boyfriend comes home early and suggests a quickie.
3:46 Boyfriend catches my unenthusiastic response and tells me never mind. I feel awful, as I do every time I turn him down, but I’ve been cleaning all day without a shower and I had just finished an hour of wii fit so I was sore. I promise him that I’ll make it up to him later that night.
1:22 a.m. Come home from seeing a friend’s band play. Still too sore and tired for sex, so I offer him a blow job as soon as we get home. Read More »

So, I have this friend (and no–this friend is not a hypothetical version of myself, thank god). The other night, we found ourselves in the midst of some major girl-talk. The topics ranged from our first experience with tampons, to how we feel about guys finishing on various different body parts, and then on to one of my personal faves, self love. It was at this moment when she nonchalantly dropped,

“I’m not really into masturbating,”

“WHAT?!?!?!!?!”

No. No, no, no this cannot be right. After all, I only surround myself with liberated, self-respecting gals of the feminist persuasion, all of which are highly aware of how important it is to know how to GET YOURSELF OFF. How could my friend not be into masturbating? Are there really girls that don’t attempt this anymore?

The truth became more relevant when I pulled out the big guns and asked the million-dollar question (and slightly reveled in the fact that I felt like a living chic-flick cliché)

“Have you ever had an orgasm?!”

Her answer consisted of a lot of mutters and stutters ultimately culminating with, “well, how do you even know if you’re done anyway?!”

Oh sh*t. Girlfriend was in need of some serious advice. Read More »

I mean, I’ve heard of being afraid of intimacy before, but this guy takes it to a whole new level. This guy built a robot girlfriend.That’s right, a robot girlfriend. Dude was a 33-year-old virgin until he met (read: MADE) Alice, his robot girlfriend who includes a chatbox to talk through and a teledildonic device, which, I assure you, is exactly what it sounds like.

I’m sorry, but this is straight out of a Philip K. Dick novel. I find it really frightening that there are actual people who are so emotionally and sexually disfunctional that they need to build robots to have relationships with. Read More »

Many women see their backdoor as a one-way street, so to speak. To them, anal sex is more laughable than sexy and it’s understandable that they should feel that way–after all, what has popular culture told us about anal sex? That it’s funny, disgusting, painful, or the dangerous means of a deviant lifestyle.

I will concede that anal sex is funny at times, but only so much as sex as a whole is funny (which it really should be). Also, we as a society seem to need to make light of the things that make us uncomfortable, and anal sex is still very taboo culturally because of widespread misinformation and closed minds.

For instance, many people still associate anal sex with homosexuality and the AIDS epidemic, and let their ignorance about the lifestyle inform their ideas about the nature of the act. Granted, some studies have shown that sexually transmitted diseases are more easily spread through anal sex, but they are even more easily preventable if the sex is practiced safely.

For all its perceived perversion, anal sex seems to be growing in popularity. In a 2005 study by the Center for Disease Control, they found that 34% of men and 32% of women between the ages of 22-24 have anal sex with the opposite sex, up from 20% in 1990. The Guide to Getting it On also reports that 30-40% of all heterosexual couples in this country have tried anal intercourse, with up to half of these continuing to do it on an occasional basis. Read More »

I remember the first time I tried it. My close friends were hanging out one afternoon and the topic came up. Masturbation.

The room got eerily silent.

Then one of my more adventurous and experienced friends proclaimed, “I tried it for the first time in middle school.” We all gasped. “What? None of you have ever tried it?” More silence.

“No one?”

I could hear crickets.

She was astonished. Everyone she knew had done it and not just once; weekly, if not daily! We had to try it! It would change our lives!

So, we made a pact. By the end of the semester we would all try it once (and, since most of us were roommates with at least one person in the room, we vowed to let them have the room to themselves at some point to do so). And to kick off the pact, we took a fieldtrip to the campus sex store for some…er….tools.

I tried the very next day. Why not? I was curious….and my roommate had a 2 hour lecture. It didn’t take long (literally) before I realized just how right my friend was. Why had I waited so long to try it? Why did I always feel so ashamed to want to do it? It truly was life changing!

And in more ways than the obvious. Just like the wonderfully unknown benefits of exercise, masturbation comes with a whole slew of added bonuses. (Mind you, I looked these up when trying to convince one of the other pact-makers that it was not only OK to do it, but necessary for a long and fulfilling life.)

Read More »