Midterms are still weeks away, and already you can’t stand your roommate. Being forced to share such small quarters as a dorm room with another person can take its toll on one’s sanity. Perhaps you got a random roommate, and the two of you just never clicked, or maybe you chose to room with a friend, only to find that spending every waking moment with her is a nightmare. You want to do a housing swap, but you’re settled into your room. Problem is, so is she. The gauntlet has been thrown; how do you make her move out?

1.Leave Passive-Agressive Notes.
The PAN is a surefire way to irk any person who gets it. You know what I’m talking about: Post-It notes that are written in a polite tone of voice, yet irritate you more than your mom nagging you to clean your room in high school. In fact, often the PAN comes off as sounding like your mom. I’m getting annoyed just thinking about PANs! So, use this technique to get under the roommate’s skin. Read More »

One of my biggest gripes about being a woman is not the fact that I can’t get paid as much as a man for doing the same amount of work (though that is up there), or the amount of maintenance that is expected our gender (hair, nails, waxing, working out, etc.).It is the fact that my period makes me really, really horny.

But it’s not like I can do anything about it, right? I mean, I don’t even want to think about what’s goin’ on down there, so how can I ask someone else to actually venture in that direction? At the same time, though, guys love sex and would do anything to have it. So maybe they really don’t care if their mate is currently hanging out with Aunt Flo?

I needed some answers, so I turned to someone who could get me the scoop: a dude. Read More »

There are a lot of traditional expectations of women to which I don’t match up with smoothly. For the most part, I don’t even care to bother meeting up to these expectations. Except for this one thing:

I wish I could be cleaner.

I don’t have a neat-freak bone anywhere in my body. I’m not convinced that I even want a neat-freak bone. But when I walk into some friends’ homes and everything is immaculately clean…it makes me wonder why I too can’t prioritize cleaning.

In order for me to clean, I really need to be expecting guests. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not DIRTY. I don’t leave food out, I do the dishes, take out the trash, blah blah. Oh, and I bathe. But I’m A-OK with leaving my shoes, jackets, purses, etc. all over the living room and I don’t mind if my roomies do, either. I don’t care if there’s makeup all over the counter and the bathroom floors aren’t spotless. Did I miss a memo somewhere?

It doesn’t even ‘run’ in my family. My family is actually very neat and they often argued with me over being somewhat of a slob growing up. I guess I just can’t see why cleaning is more important than sitting on the couch.

It’s not something I necessarily learned from my friends, either. In fact, my friends are kind of the people who make pay attention to the fact that I’m not like them. Take my good friend, Cara, for example. She mops her floors incessantly. When we get into her place from spending the evening out she literally - no f*cking joke - mops the floor. Am I crazy for thinking this is crazy? Read More »

I have no damn space. I swear my ass may get stuck in my own hallway if I eat another Cadbury Egg.

Like many college students, I have been forced to find a way to sleep, eat and basically shower/sh*t/etc. all within 5 feet of each other. Books are piled on top of stacks of clothing, shoes are collecting dust bunnies under my bed along with a variety of other dust collecting partners; bills, blankets, bras and the one sock I’ve been looking for forever. I can never find anything and generally am forced to throw on whatever happens to be crumpled under my feet. Organization? I’m sure that I wouldn’t be able to give the definition of the word if a million dollars were on the line.

…Until the other day, when I had a calling from what must have been a divine being…something told me to hop into The Container Store on my way home from work.

The moment I stepped foot into the store I was sure I had been saved. As a notoriously messy person, it had seemed like nothing would be able to shake me of my slobbish ways. How wrong I was. Read More »