As I began watching last night’s episode of Project Runway, all I could think was “I hope Keith doesn’t make anything with those dumb strips of fabric.” Oh, and I hope Stella goes home/gets paint thrown on her by PETA people.

What I should have been asking myself was “which company bought their way into an episode this week?”

The challenge was to take parts and materials from a Saturn Vue Hybrid and make something innovative from them. Because taking car parts and designing an outfit makes a great designer. I am sure Michael Kors learned how to do just that before he hit it big.

The designers went to town filling baskets with all of the materials. Tim reminded them to be extra innovative, which many ignored as they all attempted to use seatbelts in their designs (much like the tablecloth fiasco of episode 1).

Everyone heads back to the workroom where Keith – stressed by his poor performance…the entire season – breaks out the ‘tude. Not only is he rude to the other designers (yelling at them about the sewing machine) and to his model (basically calling her dumb even though it is his shoddy construction that causes the problems), but he talked back to he judges.

Aw HEEEELLL no. Read More »

I have a subscription to New York Magazine. I like to read it because the cover articles tend to be edgy and intelligent, and the publication as a whole tends to be more pop culture friendly than their slightly stuffy counter-periodical, The New Yorker. If you don’t live in NYC or around it, you might not have heard about NY Mag, which is fine. It’s a little inside-jokey. A little self-referential — cultivating a between-the-lines feeling that the New York publishing world is the center of the universe.

But like that slightly snotty friend who turns around and buys everyone a round of drinks at the bar, I just can’t seem to break up with NY Mag and read my weekly copy faithfully. There’s only one thing about the periodical that really bothers me, and it usually can be skipped over quite readily…unless of course, you’re me, reading it last night.

You see, yesterday I had a long day. The bus ride back from work was so packed it induced claustrophobia, and two people decided to get into a screaming match that included gems such as “SHUT UP, RETARD!!”, “YOU’RE THE RETARD!!”, “ON YOUR MOM!!”, “ON YOURS, MINE’S DEAD!!”. When I got home, my internet and cable were still not working…a problem left over from the weekend, and it was probably around 105 F in my apartment. Pouring myself a bowl of cereal, I sat down and decided to spend the evening reading, and my new copy of New York Magazine was the first thing I got my exhausted hands on. Read More »

Is the economy killing you? Yeah? (Join the club. I can’t even afford mixers for my vodka anymore.) Don’t wanna spend money on cute clothes if you can help it? Well, rally up your girls and organize a clothing swap party. They’re fun AND you end up walking home with tons of new clothes-for free! Here is how it works:

Get together with a group of your favorite ladies – especially those with wardrobes you would kill for. Tell everyone to bring clothes to the party that they don’t wear anymore. Assign each girl to a spot on the floor where she will pile up all the goodies she brought with her.

Each girl will take turns going around the circle and holding up one of the items she brought with her. Whoever wants it can raise their hands. If more than one girl wants it, settle the score through a trivia game…or a drinking game… whichever you choose. Read More »

Blackberry,

I have been so busy and my life has been so hard. No one understands how hard it is to be me. Every1 is so jealous of me that they have to find ways to bring me down. Especially now that Nicole has that dumb, stupid baby.

Like last week - I had a superhot photo shoot to do and I had a smarty idea. The smartyest – like, you know how I always look hot in all of the picshurs that I take. Like every single one. Well, I was thinking like how can I make myself like an even gooder model. And geniousosity - the only thing that could make a picture of me more better would be a PUPPY!

So I pulled over right away to buy one and the store WOULDN’T LET ME. Something about how I don’t feed them or whatever – but like, I hug my puppies when I feel like it and, sometimes, I bring them out to the clubs with me like a good puppy mommy. And if I don’t put them in my closet, then where else would they go? Besides, if I don’t need to eat a lot and I’m so tall, they don’t need to eat either because they’re so tiny and preshus. Read More »

First America’s Next Top Model and now a beauty pageant? Looks like people are finally starting to get the hint that being emaciated does not equal being beautiful. Or, more importantly, that women with a little meat on their bones are still pretty damn fabulous.

Leah Green — a beautiful 22 year old girl who happens to be a size 12 – was crowned Miss London yesterday. Green beat out hundreds of rail-thin contenders to take the title. Naturally, she was ecstatic. “I was in shock, but it was amazing to receive my crown, trophy and sash. My best friend Emma burst into tears and all I could see was my boyfriend Matt’s huge smile.”

Green had been turned down by many modeling agencies before entering the Miss London competition. To Leah, this win is about more than putting her in the running for the title of Miss England; this is her chance to be a role model to curvy (read: normal) girls everywhere.

This is a wonderful day for Leah Green, but I find it frustrating that the world is so shocked and enthralled with her story. Yes, she has broken down a huge wall in the modeling and beauty industry, but should it really be this way? Should an average sized girl winning a beauty pageant really be world news?

We can only hope that Leah Green’s win will force the change that we have all been waiting for. Next stop: Miss England. We are all behind you, sister.

As I study some pictures from various other media outlets of the up and coming new-aged model Agyness Deyn — the woman dubbed, “the fashion industry’s next supermodel” — I can’t help but think that I must’ve missed the fashion boat on this one.

The short bob, the platinum – almost white – hair, is too much like the twiggy era for me to think Ms. Deyn is breaking a new fashion mold, when really, she’s just playing copy cat to some of fashions oldest trendsetters. If it wasn’t for Henry Holland who discovered Ms. Deyn, this wanna-be may not have been the face of Armani in ’07 or won the 2007 British model of the year award.

I used to love the way models looked; tall, slender (note I said slender, not emaciated or malnourished) and elegant, gliding down the runway with confidence I wished to exude, but never could master. Now, when I watch fashion shows, look at magazine spreads or stare up at billboards, I can’t help but feel the Agyness Deyn’s of this era are seriously lacking in the sheek-ness that once was what fashion stood for.

Their frail frames, gaunt cheek bones, androgynous look and blank, lifeless stares pale in comparison to the Cindy Crawford’s or Christy Brinkley’s of an older generation. My only fear is that if Agyness Deyn is blowing up on PerezHilton.com as a fierce competitor in the model industry, what does this mean for the future of America’s fashion image?

How do you feel about Ms. Deyn?

I went from cracking jokes about Jessica Simpson’s ProActiv ads to wanting to be in my own acne treatment ad basically overnight. I never had acne problems as a teen. Even buying something as simple as face wash seemed like a foreign concept to me-after all, I had perfect skin. Of course I’d have the occasional tragic zit that would drive me up the wall — but that was as far as my derma-traumas were concerned.

Until I switched my birth control.

Once I switched my birth control my hormones went completely out of whack. A few months ago, after the switch, I started breaking out ALL OF THE TIME. I felt uncomfortable going outside without makeup on. As a singer, I didn’t want to be on stage. As a model on the side, I stopped showing up to interviews. I felt gross and about as far from pretty as a girl can possibly feel without having to be a D list Hollywood drunken starlet.

I wasn’t about to give in to a bleak marriage with acne. My skin’s future needed to be free and happy, not tied down to bullsh*t anxiety.

I finally got to that breaking point where I caved and decided I would try ProActiv-or something like it. Something like it is what I went with when I saw Acne Free at the drug store. It was right there in front of me and for much less than what I hear ProActive goes for (it was $20 for the package). I rationalized with myself for a while before the purchase.

“Elizabeth…you spent $20 at a bar on drinks in an hour. You can chance it for better skin…”

And so I did. Read More »

Tyra Banks. Why does her name induce toe curling for me? It’s not just her giant forehead that gives me nightmares. Much more than her monster-like physique, her diva personality is the thing that really spooks me out (and makes me want to punch her).

Whenever America’s Next Top Model comes on the TV, my roomies and I know we’re doomed for the next few hours, but I can’t help it…(and my roomies agree)…her overbearing, dogmatic, hotter-than-thou attitude is relentless and so ruthless that it’s not at all admirable…instead, it’s just f*cking funny.

Where does this woman get off? Blah blah, she worked hard her whole life, blah blah, she knows what it “TAKES”, blah blah. Who out there hasn‘t worked hard their whole lives? What girl hasn‘t dealt with the trials and tribulations of making it in a man’s world? The way she talks, you’d think she’s the only one who’s ever had a life that wasn’t easy.

Tyra’s unwarranted words of “wisdom” that decorate her shows (and interviews) are dumbing down an entire generation; one wanna-be model at a time. And really, the only person I can think of who could knock some goddamn sense into Miss Arrogance is Miss More Arrogant: BEYONCE. Read More »

• Roddick fans are none to happy about Andy’s new gal pal.

• Dane Cook was NOT funny for 7 hours straight.

• Shoulder pads are back with a vengeance. Say it ain’t so.

• Liposuction is no longer dumb.

• Britney Spears is a good mother.

• 2 Girls 1 Cup, 1 Wikipedia Entry.

Alright, so, we all know how I feel about porn.

But what about porn featuring disabled people?

Gimps Gone Wild is one of the best-known websites for male and female “disabled models”. Started in 2002 by Bonnie (otherwise known as “Kitten”), a “3 foot wheelchair vamp dwarf”, Gimps Gone Wild touts itself as a springboard for the acceptance of disabled persons—and their sexual needs.

“The media has pretty much shut out disabled people, except for the usual geriatric wheelchair ads, or…as some pathetic, needy type of person,” Bonnie explained in a recent interview with AVN Media. “We created GGW in response to this rejection. We wanted a sanctuary to express ourselves in a sensual way, to be seen as sexy and to be seen as adults.”

GGW’s website showcases male and female models, with names like “Medical Mary Jane” and “Para Stud” next to a description of each model’s disability. Semi-nude and completely nude pictures are available for purchase, as are video clips featuring models during their own personal striptease.

“[being on GGW] not only helps my own self-confidence, but I get mail from adoring female fans thanking me for being a role model.” Explains a model who calls herself Mistress Mayhem. “I am strong, beautiful and sexy, with a motor to propel me. Love me or hate me, this job gets people with disabilities noticed as sexual beings, and that can only be a positive thing!” Read More »