She’ll give you a lap dance, as long as you hold her cane

I guess I’m not the only one who has no idea how to do that damn self breast exam

How to “unlock” your iPhone 3G

Sure! Let’s define Birth Control as abortion!! Sounds like a plan, George W!!!

Yo, stop buying sh*t

I always thought they were recycling this stuff

Oh man, these Belugas are seriously tripping me out

Some best friend she is

Eat your Pork Rinds, Billy! They’re good for you

Sarah Jessica Parker’s Mole…ohmygod you guys, it’s gone!!

I told my Ex we broke up because he was short.

Really, we broke up because he was short and kind of looked like a giant mole that stood upright

Hey, remember Trapped in the Closet? You know, R. Kelly’s AMAZING twenty-three part R&B soap opera chronicling the twists and turns in the life of protagonist Sylvester (R. Kelly) and about ten million secondary characters who are all tangled in the same sexy web of lies and interconnected boot-knockin’? Well R. Kelly’s Trial Debating Whether Or Not I Am In Fact A Huge Creep That Pisses On Underage Girls On Video is like Trapped in the Closet, but so so so much more kick ass.

To give you a little background, it all started in 2002 when music critic Jim DeRogatis was given a video by a currently unnamed source featuring what appeared to be R. Kelly giving an allegedly underage girl money, then getting a BJ from her, having sex with her, and pissing on her. DeRogatis broke the story in the Chicago Sun-Times, and shortly thereafter R. Kelly was charged with soliciting a minor for child pornography, seven counts of videotaping the acts, and seven counts of producing child pornography. Now, six years after the initial indictment, the trial has begun and it’s like the sexy remix of the O.J. Simpson trial. Read More »