Aw, such sweet bromance…

Understand the economy with Chris Farley movies

At last, something to do with your ex’s testicles once you cut them off

Celeb camel toe AND mom jeans alert

Disney on Depressants

Howard Stern ties the knot, Mr. Kelly Ripa officiates, celebrities now control the universe

Britney channels the other Madonna

Diddy is afraid of Palin

It’s official, Kate Moss has a golden vajayjay

The sham is almost over…

Dita Von Always Looks Awesome

St. Tyra declaws a catfight

Holly finally realized Hef is old

I feel it is time, time to LEARN, time to take notes….whip out your index cards, your recorders, your brilliant memory and LISTEN: Cougars, know shit we don’t.

If you disagree with me, all I’m going to say is…..if you could bag Ashton Kutcher would you??? RIGHT. So don’t argue with me, we all would. Demi could teach us a lesson or two, or eight.

Us twenty somethings DIDN’T “bag” Kutcher, a cougar did, since cougars have tricks we should add to the “bag” in order to…. “bag.” (Insert cheesy joke here, I couldn’t help myself.)

Obviously, we’ll never be able to compete with time, since, that’s science and time is an uncontrollable factor. However, if we are SMART, we’ll take some of the vampy COUGAR tricks in order to ooze absolute sex appeal, without having to wear “Mom jeans” (if you don’t know “Mom jeans”, look at your mothers flat, heart shaped ass and tell me how much that ISN’T cougar material.)

If we are smart, we already have a step up, since hey, we don’t have to worry about age defying wrinkle cream, menopause, gray hairs…and shit (the “and shit” was added for my immature emphasis.)

So what is a “Cougar” anyway, you ask??
A Cougar: A babe beyond 40. Sex drive on HIGH. Heels, on HIGH. Hair, on HIGH, with the assistance of Aqua Net, and BOOBS, up HIGH.
But most importantly…CONFIDENCE at a soaring dangerous level of: HIGH. Read More »