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Miami University in Oxford, OH
(yea, confusing right?) conducted
a survey to see just how aware
young college women are about
the dangers of “drug-facilitated
sexual assault.” The findings were
surprising…and pretty scary. So we
all know about roofies and not to
accept drinks from guys cuz they’re
probably creeps who want to take
advantage of us. Read More...
(SARA, 23, sits with her DAD, 57, in a Thai restuarant near Sara’s apartment, waiting for her MOM, also 57, to come back from the bathroom so they can get this show on the road.)
SARA
(impatient)
What’d she, fall in?
DAD
You look…different.
SARA
Oh yeah, I’m growing out my bangs.
DAD
(brightening)
Oh yeah?
SARA
…Yeah…
DAD
You know I’ve never been a fan of when you have bangs. Even when you were a little kid.
SARA
Yeah, I know.
DAD
But something else too… Read More »
Okay. Mother’s Day is almost here. And if you’re anything like me, you’re freaking out just the tiniest bit because A) you kinda forgot about this holiday until you saw a commercial last night B) your money supply is so low that you no longer get receipts from the ATM because it makes you too sad, and C) you’ve already maxed out every bath and body store within a 100 mile radius of your house, and your mom will disown you if you get her another bottle of bubble bath.
So what’s a poor girl to do?
Make some bitchin’ strawberry shortcake.
I have found that no matter what, strawberry shortcake hits the spot — especially with moms. It’s light, it’s fruity, it’s sweet, and with this recipe, it’s so simple you could whip it up while studying for that last final.
INGREDIENTS
Um. Why didn’t anyone tell me Mother’s Day was right around the corner? I thought I had at least a month to find something cute, thoughtful and cheap for my mom. Now I find out I have a few short days. Days. Uh oh?
Flowers used to be enough for Mama’s Day, but giving her something that will most definitely die (and cause her the pain of having to clean yet another vase) just isn’t right. My mother is the most generous and caring person around, so she deserves the best. She washed my laundry every time I came home from school to visit…even that going-out shirt I puked on the night before. She picks me up toilet paper at Costco when I am on my last roll and am this close to using newspaper. She sends me home with enough food for a month every time I stop by her house. And then she offers to come over and help me cook it.
I’m pretty sure your moms are the same.
Even though they may call too early on a Saturday morning, or say some ridiculous things via email, our moms really do deserve major appreciation. And if we can’t give it to them every other day of the year, then it is our duty to make Mother’s Day special. So, even though we are down to the wire on time, here are a few unique and special gift ideas for yo momma: Read More »
My mom and I like to live vicariously through each other in terms of food by sending pictures and recipes back and forth. A couple of weeks ago, she sent me an e-mail using the most exclamation points I have ever seen within the space of a few paragraphs.
“This bread is SO GOOD!!!!!” she exclaimed. “If you make it, FREEZE half of it immediately for your own safety, otherwise you will eat the entire thing and become a balloon!!!!!!!!!!”
OK, Mom, I thought. No bread is that good. So I trekked to the grocery store to find some frozen cranberries (turns out that’s more difficult than you might think in the cranberry off-season, but they’re around in a few places) to make the bread.
I must have messed something up somehow, because my bread and muffins didn’t rise very well. Despite the fact that they ended up flat, they tasted GOOD. Mom wasn’t lying. Read More »
My best friend and I spend our days at work looking for fun things to entertain us. It used to be Facebook until we realized that our friends don’t update things nearly enough to keep up with our hourly refreshes. Now we have resorted to copying and pasting our IM conversations/emails with our moms to one another. It is a constant source of entertainment in our usually bleak and boring days.
I am always laughing at the way her mom ends an IM conversation with, “LOVE, MOM.” Always in all caps - never understanding that it signifies yelling. And never realizing that it is an unnecessary sign-off as she obviously knows that it is her mom, because she’s been talking to her for the entire time. She, on the other hand, is obsessed with the way my mom switches from medical advice, to stories of my dog’s pooping habits to questions about politics all in a single paragraph.
We always joke about how our moms were separated at birth: they both bring up the most random topics, they both tell us the most random stories and they both seem to type in capitals all the freaking time. They truly are two of a kind.
Then we realized our moms weren’t alone, and there’s a website to prove it. Read More »
There was a time in my young life when I was super religious. Growing up Roman Catholic meant Church was always around (not to mention that my MOM taught CCD every Monday…embarass-o-rama), but right before a big surgery in junior high, I decided that I was going to seriously start getting into God.
Like most promises I make to myself, my devotion only lasted about 5 months, and these days, I find my spirituality more of the Transcendental kind.
Having said that, not being able to be home for Easter still makes me kinda sad. I freaking love chocolate eggs, and watching my Uncle cut into a giant Honeybaked Ham is one of my most favorite memories. This year, while my relatives enjoy the religious / consumer holiday, I’ll be working in an office and slaving through my graduate thesis at the same time.
Luckily the guys over at JibJab made this hilariously odd video. Nothing says Happy Easter! like chin animation.
There comes an age when you realize the difference between homesick and home, sick.
Homesickness happens after moving out of state. You miss the backyard you grew up in, your family and friends, whatever it may be that just isn’t the same in your new digs. Home, sick happens when you’re too hungover to function or you’re legitimately ill, sometimes even ill due to the hangover. Most importantly, home, sick, as an adult, is when you realize how great it was when your parents were there to take care of you. Home, sick leads to homesick.
Maybe it was because I have no siblings, but my parents upped the love when I had what my father referred to as “the punies,” always pronounced with an exaggerated pout and a pat on the head, whether I was six or sixteen. He’d then quickly step away and make an x with his index fingers. “Love you, but I don’t want it,” he said, shaking his head sadly. Read More »
I get looks a lot. That shouldn’t really strike me as surprising; everyone gets looks. Amused looks, horrified looks, heartbroken looks, enamored looks…I’ve gotten them all. Still, nothing was quite the punch in the gut as the look my mother gave me when I told her I was going out with a girl.
I’d been dating Megan for something like six months around the time I finally talked to my mom. For six months, I was horrified at the concept of telling my middle-aged, old-fashioned African-American mother that her daughter, the girl she had been a father and mother to for twenty years, was very much in love with your typical Irish girl (sans fiery-red Weasley hair).
I had told my mother that I was bi before, but it was some six years ago and I’m pretty sure that she just passed it off as me being dazed after being hit over the head with puberty. I was almost certain that she’d forgotten (she hadn’t, the old elephant), and when I told her, a look of terror and disgust would follow suit.
It didn’t, and I still can’t decide if I’m grateful for that or not. Read More »
