To put it plainly, my first college roommate was a megabitch. Sharon* (named changed to protect the dreadful) and I never spoke. Our room was silent and filled with angst. I would try to start conversations on topics I knew she enjoyed (dance, The Bachelor, being the biggest jerk ever) but she would usually respond with one word answers or with exaggerated sighs.

The worst part? Sharon was super fun and nice with every other person on our floor but for some reason couldn’t stand me.

I made myself scarce and tried not to be in the room when she was. I hid out in the dorm lounge and the cafeteria. Meanwhile, Sharon did the opposite and made my life a living hell.

The final straw came the night she came home drunk at 2 AM before my first big test. She shushed her gentleman friend loudly as they stumbled into our room, then she dragged the poor shlub up onto the top bunk of our bed for what had to be the most awkward dorm sex ever. I told myself that night that I would try to find a new roommate. Sharon must have heard my prayers because a few weeks later she asked ME to move out so she could live with her best friend. I didn’t even feel like arguing or complaining. I just said sure and amazingly enough moved into the open room right across the hall.

Since then, I’ve had some great and not so great living situations, but none of them taught me as much as my first semester at college. Here are a few tips for those of you taking the plunge into dorm life. Read More »

This week was a doozy. We found out that John Edwards is an evil man-whore, pedophilia is totally fine as long as you are talking about a celebrity, and, contrary to popular belief, shopping actually makes women cry.

But not many people seemed to notice all that with the Olympics goin’ on.

It is hard to pay attention to anything when Michael Phelps is all over the news, breaking world records and being all around sexy. He even sorta makes me forget all about the darker side of the games. Drinking doesn’t hurt, either.

All this Olympic watching, though, has totally sucked up our back-to-school packing time. It is impossible to concentrate on that To Do List when all these gorgeous men are popping up on our TVs. There is just so much to do and remember before we get back to the dorms. Ugh; we can only imagine what incoming freshmen are dealing with. (Even worse…we wish we were incoming freshmen again.)

What we wouldn’t give to have those random hookups again. To hunt for men in class. To flirt with unsuspecting males for free drinks. To spend all day watching bad TV. To get cheap birth control from the University Health Service.

Ah. Must. Snap. Out. Of. It.

Well, since it’s the weekend, we can at least hit the town like we are still freshmen (only with better ID’s)…

Moving, the actual process, is a less-than-awesome experience, the necessary evil to get your entire life from point A to point B in as little time as possible.

The process itself requires weeks of planning, stressing, throwing things away, trying to pawn things you can’t justify throwing out off on your friends, scrounging for money to pay for movers, and of course, that whole packing situation. Findind a new place is only the beginning.

Things to bear in mind while you’re moving:

1. Your movers will always cost more than they quote you for. Even if you like them, even if they’re good, you will still be bitter about this. New Yorkers: Take whatever they tell you and keep approximately an extra hundred on-hand just in case. Most movers require cash, some do cash or credit, so be warned.

2. That being said, if you have a friend with a truck of sorts, bribe them with hugs, high-fives, food, alcohol, whatever it takes to trick them into helping you move. This will save you a huge moving company fee.

3. Remember how your parents used to (or still) nag that you had too many clothes? You probably have too many clothes. You probably wear only half of them, and you really need to be honest with yourself about the wardrobe when you’re schlepping it to a new establishment. Weed out what you don’t wear and donate it to an organization like Goodwill or to a shelter/clothing drive in your area. Read More »

I woke up the other day and realized, “I’m moving into my dorm room in a week.” Although an exciting thought, I immediately became aware of how stressed I was considering I hadn’t pack up a thing…or cleaned my room all summer.

I looked around my room, which literally looked like the Tasmanian Devil came through, and began to freak. My clothes were everywhere (and not laundered), my desk was littered with piles of mail from Alabama, bank statements and various other stuff that had piled up and I was in no way ready to pack up and ship out.

I took a breath and relaxed. The packing needed to commence. So, before I even touched this hazardous scene, I thought of things I could do to make my packing experience easier. I made a list lots of lists. A list for the kitchen, living room, bathroom, my room, school supplies, etc. I shopped, I packed, I conquered. Here are some tips I’ve learned on how to pack for college:

1. Take a breath and calm down! You’re finally going to college. This is going to be the most exciting time of your life, so stop stressing out and just enjoy the fact that you’re starting a new part of your life.

2. Write down what you have and what you need. Like I said before, LISTS. If you have something, you don’t need another one. I made lists of what I have, what I have that I need to replace, what I need, what I can get when I arrive at school, and what my roommates are bringing. I promise you, lists will keep you so organized when you’re packing because you actually see what has been done and what you still need to get. Read More »

I seem to move more frequently than most. Even in high school I packed up and spent my summer months on abroad programs, and in college I somehow managed to live in three different cities while only attending one school. In total, I’ve lived in fourteen different places (houses, apartments, and dorms) and I’ve hunted for an apartment three times. I’ve managed to find nice places to live and I’ve never been robbed, stabbed, or beaten in my sleep by an angry roommate, so I think I’ve done well. I’ve decided to pass my wisdom onto all of you who are new to apartment hunting. Here are the usual things you need to look out for when finding a place, and a few unusual things as well.

Where to look – I’ve always found Craigslist to be the most valuable tool when apartment hunting. It’s important to check the site everyday, sometimes even multiple times a day, when you’re in the market for a place to live because the good ones get snatched up. Fast.

What to look for in a housing ad – First of all, do you want to live alone or with roommates? On Craigslist you can search for both, and there are other sites, like roommates.com, that are good. Also, trusty ol’ Facebook can be your friend (no pun intended). The second most important thing is price. Come up with a range, from the lowest you’re willing to spend (to weed out any sketchy ads for apartments with outdoor toilets, etc) and the maximum you can spend. This will keep you from looking longingly at pictures of apartments way out of your income level. And finally, look out for catch phrases: cozy = small, bachelor = no kitchen, 420 friendly = you’ll walk into a haze of pot smoke every time you come home. Read More »

Being hungover generally sucks, lets face it. The only place I want to be (and I’m sure this goes for you as well) is in bed, with the blinds closed, watching cheesy made for TV movies and eating my favorite hangover foods.

Unfortunately, my life is not very conducive to being hungover, and forces me to inevitably be anywhere but in bed on those days when I swear off drinking for good. If you’ve ever been hungover, chances are you’ve been forced to be somewhere you absolutely did not want to be at the time. I present the short list of the worst places to be while hungover. Read More »

Once upon a time, I lived in a very small apartment with my significant other. The price was right, the location ideal to school and the complex, if not especially fancy, was at least fairly clean and had a tennis court.

For all that we liked about it, this apartment had one major drawback, which we discovered with some surprise the first night we moved in: The walls were paper thin.

After carting what seemed like thousands of boxes, a big screen TV and a king sized bed up a few flights of stairs in the heat of the Florida summer, the last thing on our minds was making love.

Not so for our neighbors, who started having sex so loudly that I could hear it in the shower at about six o’clock in the afternoon.

At about nine, my boyfriend and I had given up all pretense of affording our new neighbors their modesty and had our ears fully to the wall, listening intently as they changed position, talked dirty, even spanked each other.

Usually, I would get some perverse amusement from a scene such as this, but it only made me feel, well, sad. I didn’t know if the couple next door had been moving all day like we had, but they obviously had the energy for a marathon lovemaking session. I thought with some embarrassment that the time we had spent listening to the rabbits on the other side of our wall, not unpacking or resting, could have just as easily been spent having sex. Not crazy end of the world sex in which our neighbors were engaging, but sex nonetheless. Read More »

So the other night while I was unpacking everything I own from a multitude of boxes, I flipped on the TV to help get me through the you- just- moved- into- a- new- apartment stress bubble that was slowly taking over my body. The first channel that popped up was VH1, and what was the movie they were featuring?

Showgirls.

Now, I’ve seen bits of this masterpiece in tackiness before, but I had never sat through the whole thing — the whole edited for TV version, no less. Most people probably think watching an NC17 film on cable is lame, but let me tell you, friends, Showgirls only gets better with censorship.

Here are 5 Reasons Why You Need To See Showgirls (the Edited for TV Version)

5) Elizabeth Berkley’s Wardrobe
She may want you to take her seriously today on some boring Bravo dance show, but back in 1995, Berkley was being dressed like a whore in every single scene in Showgirls. Even when she wasn’t running around in thongs and dancing crop tops, the girl just couldn’t catch a break from the wardrobe department. Everything she wears in this film makes her look like a blind prostitute who wears baby clothes. Seriously. If you played a drinking game where everyone took a shot every time Berkley wore something that showed her stomach or asscheeks, you’d be wasted after 10 minutes. Read More »