In my most recent article, I discussed the fact that my boyfriend does not read what I post here. As I am a delicate, ladylike and discreet young woman, I did not publish his name – or, for that matter, any details that could have identified him to the reading public.

I have good news for you. He read my article. We talked it over. And we’re ready to go public.

Here he is.

It’s been a whirlwind romance. When I first saw his Craigslist post, “Mr. Right Iz Here Waiting 4 U,” I knew I was in for something huge. Mr. Right! There! Waiting 4 me! I never dreamed it could be so easy. Yet, when I looked into his eyes – or, perhaps, more accurately, the portions of his eyes which could be viewed through the slits of his oh-so-cunning neon-green sunglasses – I could no longer restrain my passion. I simply had to respond.

Our dates, of course, are wonderful. We stroll through New York, patronizing the various vendors of airbrushed shirts. We go to ATMs and withdraw cash, making fans of $20 bills with which to rouse each other to erotic frenzy. Read More »

The other night, while eating dinner with a friend at one of the 4874 Thai restaurants in my neighborhood, we got into a discussion about being single.

“I’ve decided that deep down, no girl really wants to be alone,” my friend announced as she cut into her spring rolls. “Even if she says she doesn’t want a boyfriend, if the right guy stepped into her life, she’d take him.”

“What about So-And-So?” I asked, naming another mutual friend. “She kept saying how happy she was without a guy, and how she was too busy anyway. She seemed fine.”

“Didn’t you hear? Last month she landed a dude.” My friend handed me half of her spring roll, using the other half to point in my direction. “She bumped into this guy at a party and two weeks later she was updating her Facebook status to read So-And-So is totally in love.”

“Ew. Really?” Inwardly, I was jealous. When was the last time I had updated my Facebook status to say I was totally in love? Never, I realized, since the last time I was in love, Facebook hadn’t even been invented.

“Really.” My friend declared. “Us women all need to face the fact that being single just isn’t our natural stasis.” Read More »

There is nothing better than meeting – and totally loving – your friend’s boyfriend. You may not think so consciously, but I know deep down everyone fears that they will absolutely hate the boy their best friend falls for.

Either that he will be totally ogre-ish with a unibrow or chest hair that just doesn’t end, or a total dick with pink popped collars and a bracelet. Or, even worse, just an all around asshole.

So when you finally meet the boy of your friend’s dreams and he is totally awesome, it is always cause for one big giant sigh of relief (followed by a night on the town; he probably has awesome friends too, right?).

Well, not always. Not if, like me, you find yourself not only obsessed with friend’s boyfriend, but maybe a teensy tiiiiiiiiiiiiny bit in love with him yourself. That, my friends, is just one craptastic situation. Read More »