Prominent themes in tonight’s episode of Gossip Girl included “Change of Heart,” “Tumultuous Backstories,” and “Going on Day-Dates in Lingerie.” Damn, I love this show.

Where shall I begin? Let’s start with the bad and work our way up to the “OMG!” Little J and Agnes had a change of heart, which prompted a fight, an attempted betrayal, and a nutso Agnes lighting the J. Humphrey Designs dresses on fire in an alley. Hey, at least Agnes admitted to being crazy.

Meanwhile, (perhaps the biggest 180 of them all) former ice crotch Eleanor Waldorf falling in love (gasp!) with Cyrus, played by Wallace Shawn, a funny looking little man you may recognize from Sex in the City, Clueless or The Princess Bride. Anyway, of course Blair is not pleased, and sets out to destroy the budding romance. Read More »

Alright, Johansson, we’re gonna throw down, right here, RIGHT NOW.

Look, when you stepped out at the 2006 Golden Globes in that red dress that made me hate myself for a month, I said nothing. I sucked it up, bought a bra with gel inserts, and went on a diet.

When you became Woody Allen’s newest muse, stumbling through his manic dialogue with 34% accuracy, I let it go. Nobody can really do Woody Allen’s dialogue, so it was fine that you sucked.

And a few months ago, when I learned you were releasing an album of Tom Waits covers, I bit my tongue and pretended the idea of you attempting to understand the complicated, weather-beaten genius that is Mr. Waits didn’t feel like a dull spoon digging into my brain.

But this, THIS is too much. Dating Reynolds for only a year, and then somehow getting him to propose to you?! I’m not sure if you knew this, Scarlet, but after he and Alanis split, he was so slated to start dating me.

Whatever. All I have to say is watch your back. Especially if you come to New York City and happen to stumble into a dark alleyway in the East Village. Because I’ll be there.

…Right after I dismantle my R.R shrine and cry for a full 24 hours.

Music is a powerful thing. This is a fact. Attitude is also a powerful thing. I won’t dare to tread the ‘Marilyn Manson causes teens ridden with angst to hang themselves ‘ waters, but I will go as far as to say that music certainly can alter my attitude — at least my immediate attitude.

Sure, it’s fun to play hateful music when you’re so angry that you want to punch a wall. Or kick a puppy. But when I’m just feeling kind of ‘blah’, there’s a certain playlist that always does the trick with kicking me into good mood gear.

[Note: Works best within thirty minutes of waking]

Positivity Playlist

“Can You Hear The Sun” ACTION REACTION

“Plenty of Paper” EISLEY

“10 A.M. Automatic” THE BLACK KEYS

“Intergalactic” BEASTIE BOYS

“Come Together” THE BEATLES

“Lover’s Spit” BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE

“Spitshine” DREDG

“Purple Haze” JIMI HENDRIX

“Supermassive Black Hole” MUSE