So, last weekend after the utter embarassment of stuffing my thighs and stomach into a pair of too-small boxer shorts, I looked back on the situation and had to laugh. Like, ROFL, laugh. (Ew, did I just use that lingo? I feel like I’m 12.)

Yes, it made me feel a little hefty next to my Manorexic friend, but that sh*t was funny. And it is only one of many mortifying hook-up stories. Let’s be honest - two drunk and horny people heading home to a dark bedroom is a total recipe for embarassment and hilarity. And it seems I am not alone in this one. This week we asked our writers to contribute their most humiliating hook up stories. These will totally make you LOL.

Elizabeth – Baruch College: I once awoke with a boy (having not remembered how he got to my bed) only for him to tell me: “You’re bleeding everywhere.” Thinking I had gotten my period, I was like, “Oh god, sorry, dude.” But to my surprise, it was my back that was bleeding. During our rampaging sex, apparently, I had fallen onto my computer plug and it impaled my back. I still have the scar. Fact.

Blair - Gettysburg College: My sophomore year me and my boyfriend got. it. on. and then passed out naked on the couch. We woke up awhile later when his roommate and friends came back late-night (with pizza!) and found us in the buff.

Kate Bean: Up until the age of… well… last weekend, I had thought queefing was just a normal side effect of great sex. In the past, guys acknowledge this sex toot with a little chuckle or nod of the head. APPARENTLY not all guys are so familiar with the experience; I actually had a guy glare at me. GLARE! Little did he know, my vagina was glaring right back at him in disappointment. Read More »

The Chilean police have arrested a woman who tried to perform a “routine” outside the presidential palace.

Though the government strongly opposed her behavior, the media has dubbed Monserrat Morilles La Diosa Metro, or “Metro Goddess.” The attemped performance outside of the palace followed a series of stripteases that Morilles carried out on Santiago subways.

Whereas the U.S. rewards nudity with notoriety (look at NYC’s Naked Cowboy!), Chilean society isn’t quite so liberated. In an attempt to make the introverted Chile a “happier” country, Morilles boarded the metro at one station, and performed a striptease while the train sped to the next station, where the entertainer deboarded the car.

I wonder if American media has influenced the Metro Goddess in any way? Stripping in front of a government office? Maybe VH1 should pick her up and give her her own reality dating show.

I think every girl has had to face the whole stripper situation at one point or another. (Not whether to be one….) How your boyfriend thinks of strip clubs - as a place to grab a bite during a lunch break or an occasional bachelor party - will inevitably come up in a relationship. And everyone is bound to feel differently about the whole tits-in-your-man’s-face situation.

If you’re one of those girls who isn’t phased by the idea of your significant other’s face in the crotch of another chick, a naked one at that, more frigin’ power to you. However, those of you that are, like me – a woman who, regardless of my confidence prefers if my boyfriend’s face stays out of a strippers cooch – let’s discuss.

I get that guys “need” to go to the bachelor party because they want to share in their buddy’s last night of being a single guy. I understand the need to watch him squirm while the guys embarrass him by having some stripper sweat all over him; however, any man of mine, will not be partaking in such close contact festivities.

I am not – in any way – trying to directly bash strippers; you take your clothes off, look good doing it and make lots of loot. More power to you. I just won’t accept someone I touch, getting touched by a chick who gets paid to give men – all shapes and sizes – attention. So, when my boyfriend informed me that he was going to a strip club (to forwarn me and gauge my reaction) I simply tried my best to bite my tongue. Read More »

James Bond. I used to not care. Then Daniel Craig took over. And I cared.