Bristol Palin\'s Baby. Scary.

So, I’m tired this morning. All that Democrat bashing
and baby hair licking at the Republican National Convention last night kept me up late. Since I can’t
get productive until this Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte
kicks in (yes, they are back!), I decided to peruse
the interwebs for awhile. And boy did I find a gem.

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Top 5 Reasons I’m Pumped for ‘New York Goes to Hollywood’

hbjtlkqg_pxgen_r_365×505.jpgEveryone’s favorite diva is back! The lovable Tiffany aka New York is back on Vh1 in New York Goes to Hollywood to claim the acting fame she truly deserves. In New York’s fifth Vh1 performance I know we will see her star qualities shine. Here are the top 5 reasons I’m excited to view the spectacle.

5. I can’t wait to pick up more style tips from NY. I can’t wait to again learn how to apply fake eye lashes and what to do when they fall off. I want to see the wonders of blue eye shadow when applied up to the brow line. I want to see NY strut her stuff in glitter and metallic. I want to hear New York talk about her weave. I love when she fusses over it when it’s windy. I love when she refuses to get in the water because it will be ruined. I love that New York is bringing the concerns of weave wearers into light for the rest of the world. We should all only hope to one day be as fierce as Miss. NY.

4. I know in this new show we will see the rise of a star. Not that NY isn’t already a star, but this time we will see her Hollywood acting abilities shine. What notorious producer/director wouldn’t want to cast a gem like NY? New York goes to Hollywood will certainly show us how versatile NY’s talents are. I know we have previously seen her appear on a role in Nip/Tuck but that was just the beginning. I for one know I will buy a ticket to anything NY stars in. Read More »

Toxic Friends: A Manifesto

Lauren and Heidi

We all have one: the friend who blows you off, who drops you like a hot potato as soon as she meets a cute boy, who just needs to borrow $5 and seriously she’ll pay you back like, tomorrow. If this girl was your boyfriend, you would dump her a**–but can you really dump a friend?

I met Rebecca in the Spring of our senior year, in an English class, and it was like we had known each other forever. In only a few short months, I felt like I had a new best friend, someone I could rely on and who always understood me. I could totally be myself around her; my sometimes-goofy, sometimes-awkward sometimes-downright-weird self.

In short, it was friend love (Flove?).

I was leaving for grad school in the Fall (in another country), so we resolved to spend as much time together as possible that Summer. Now, I’m known among my friends as being a leeeeetle bit on the anal side when it comes to making plans, keeping them, and being early. I’m always early, at least by 10 minutes, to just about everything. If I make a plan with you, I will be there, rain or shine. Rebecca, on the other hand, always seemed to be in the midst of a calamity. The subway was delayed, or she accidentally fell asleep, or there was some kind of crisis, so she was going to be late. I spent a lot of time waiting for her to show up. Sometimes she’d never show up at all, calling later to apologize, and I always just acted like it was fine. Read More »

Drug Use in Clubs: First Hand Experiences

121707011_86b6603d94.jpgWho doesn’t love a good train wreck like Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears? For us “ordinary folk” (those of us who wear Old Navy, drink PBR and dream of tetris being an Olympic sport) there’s nothing like a healthy dose of tabloid exploitation on those who live in (what at least appears to be) an alternate universe… where dogs wear juicy couture, cars come equipped with mini-bars, breasts double as flotation devices and pocket lint is laced with cocaine.

Is it true though? Or are the tabloids just running exaggerated fantasies to harpoon mass appeal? It’s hard to know because these grandiose lifestyles are perpetuated by the attention drawn to them (unless the celebrity is actually talented). Case in point — the Kardashian sex tape.

Bad publicity is good publicity, I suppose… especially for the venues that become associated with celebrity attendance (who doesn’t want to go to places where you might see a rockstar in a bar fight or catch Paris Hilton stripping down to… well… a slightly more naked version of her usual self?).

When talking about club publicity, nothing turns up the temp on a particular venue more than the drug habits of the celebrities. The scandalous behaviors of one Miss Britney Spears has made headlines for a variety of clubs in New York including an all time personal favorite, Marquee. Yes, she has been caught using drugs in the public bathrooms all around town and she’s not the only one. The question then becomes, of course, how many drugs are being done in these places? Certainly you run a high risk (pun intended) of being caught abusing drugs if you are a celebrity, but what about us ordinary folk? Are drugs swimming through the clubs as the tabloids would have us believe? Read More »

Obnoxious Lime Green T-shirt Wearer, or, How to Spot a Tourist

We’ve all seen them, whether they’ve been meandering along a random street corner or flashing frightened doe looks in the subway…I’ve been one, you’ve been one, we’ve all been one. That’s right, I’m talking about tourists; those people who don’t belong here but are visiting anyway.

While they can be cute to watch for awhile, for the most part it is extremely annoying to be walking along a street while fifty people surrounding you are walking at a glacial pace in order to take pictures of the same thing. You try not to bother with these flowery shirt folks, but it’s pretty inevitable that you will eventually come across one sooner or later.

So no matter where you are, here are some ways to spot, and hopefully avoid, tourists.

An abundance of fanny packs: Fanny packs seem to be the universal fashion wear for any tourist and a prime target to look for when spotting said tourist. These extra hip appendages also come in handy for any muggers looking for fresh meat.

Anyone wearing a fanny pack might as well be wearing a shirt that says ‘I AM A TOURIST! ROB ME!’ Not only are you making yourself easy bait for pick pockets and other crazy people, but these zippered pouches just look plain stupid hanging from your side like that. The fact is, whether you’re a tourist or not, fanny packs are never, ever, considered sexy. Now take it off and put your wallet in your pocket where it’s supposed to be. Read More »

I Swear, I’d Lose My Head if it Weren’t Bolted to My 2 Foot Tall Hat!

parker-hat.jpg For a while there, it seemed like the world might be turning into one big American Apparel ad: around every New York corner lurked a pair of slim slacks, a tri-blend t-shirt and a pair of those canvas slip-on sneakers from K-Mart, and that’s about where fashion and effort ended. While I understand the Gotham need not try too hard, certain neighborhoods had me feeling constantly overdressed in my (um, I thought) carefree rayon 40’s numbers.

But now, suddenly, at least one fixture of good old international dressing has returned: behold, the hat! Sarah Jessica Parker wore a green creation by Philip Treacy to the London premiere of the Sex and the City movie, complete with a giant rose and acorn-inspired base.

Treacy, a graduate of London’s Royal College of Art, burst onto the scene in the early 90’s by creating a wedding headdress for his muse, late fashion editor Isabella Blow. He (obviously) tends to go vertical with his pieces, often using feathers and butterflies (an all-butterfly headpiece was also worn by Princess Beatrice recently to the Peter Philips’s royal nuptials).

“Hats can make a boring outfit come to life,” says vintage collector Anne Schutterlin. “They’re like those beautiful flourishes on top of a cake that make it taste even better!” Read More »

WTF: Shopping for Sweaters in July?

Jacket
Jackets already? No thanks.
(Photo courtesy of Urban Outfitters)

It’s hot today in New York. Really. Hot. Even in the air conditioning, I am sweating (ew). Last week, in preparation for some 4th of July swimming, I set off on a mission to find myself a swimsuit. I was looking for a kind of cute, retro one-piece, so I headed to my old standby: Urban Outfitters. When I entered the store, however, I was in shock. Everywhere I looked there were sweaters, long-sleeve plaid shirts and…is that a coat with a wool collar?!

WTF Urban Outfitters?! It’s JULY. I decided to try another store down the street, but was struck with the same thing. Again and again as I made my way down Broadway, I saw Fall clothing up in every window. Yesterday the latest issue of Lucky magazine arrived in my mailbox, chock full of…you guessed it…Fall fashions. I leafed through it while sitting on my bed half-naked trying to cool down in front of my fan. The pages and pages of models in tights and sweaters were not helping. Read More »

“I Love Money:” A VH1 Executive’s Wet Dream

i love moneyIt’s finally happened. I’ve finally completely lost my mind.

How do I know? Because I’m really, really looking forward to this.

Yes, you understood that video correctly–there is going to be a show in which reality “stars” from Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, and I Love New York compete for cash (specifically, $250,000). And not the actual stars. It’s going to be the doofuses (doofii?) who competed for the lame stars’ hearts. (Note: New York is not lame. New York is a marvel of nature whose delightful bizarreness I will love for always. Just so’s ya know.)

Annnnyway, let’s take a look at the cast, shall we?

Brandi C. from Rock of Love
That weird blonde chick from the first season who kept calling Bret her boyfriend is back for the moolah. Having tried porn after she got off the show (frankly, not surprising), she was ready to jump back on the screen and into our hearts. Wait, did I say hearts? I meant nightmares.

The Entertainer from I Love New York
The crazo who got kicked off the show for living with his parents is back for more. This guy was pretty freaking crazy–there was an episode where he was convinced the house was haunted, so he wouldn’t take off his construction helmet. And I mean; what those two wacko things even have to do with one another I do not know. Read More »

Ruslana Korshunova’s Death: Suicide or Secret Russian Mob Conspiracy?

Ruslana Korshunova

At 2:30 pm on June 28th, 20 year old Kazakh model, Ruslana Korshunova, fell from the balcony of her Manhattan 9th floor apartment to her death. Police ruled that her death was an apparent suicide after finding no signs of a struggle in her apartment. Case closed.But the media is refusing to be satisfied, and with good reason — there was no note, and, according to her friends, she seemed to be “on top of the world”.

Hmmmm…. no note, in good spirits… maybe she was “done in”– oh oh oh! By the Russian Mob! Of course! Everyone knows that whenever a beautiful Russian (or former Soviet) bites the dust, the Russian Mob are the culprits. I mean look at “From Russia with Love”, “Eastern Promises”, and of course xXx. Sigh… if only Sean Connery, Vigo Mortenson, or Vin Diesel were on the investigation team. Read More »

Naughty and Nice: A New Look for Fashion

2548_head_header.jpg

Historically, women have always been shoved into a little feminine box. We have always had to be proper - pinky out when drinking tea, crossing our legs at the ankle when sitting on the couch, letting the man make all the first moves. That trend has made its exit in the past 10 or so years, but for some reason, it still stuck around in the fashion world. Frilly dresses, delicate fabrics and beautifully crafted footwear are the staple of many women’s wardrobes.

But that custom’s days are also fleeting.

There is a new look making its way on runways from Paris to New York that is pairing the daintiness of yesteryear with the attitude of the modern day woman. And it is easy to do: the trick is to pump up the hardware on your feet and temper the volume of your dress so you look fresh and strong - not like Avril Lavigne. Read More »

The Naked Cowboy Gets Serious

cowboy.jpg

Anyone who has ever been to New York City has most likely encountered Times Square’s Naked Cowboy. I never really understood the appeal of A) Times Square and its massive carbon footprint, or B) the appeal of a guitar-strumming man in his tightie whities (unless, of course, that man is John Mayer..mmmmm), but for some reason this dude is totally famous.

In Times Square, at least.

Well, now he’s taking his show on the road: to the New York City court system. As if being a naked cowboy wasn’t obnoxious enough, this dude is now suing the makers of M&M’s for stealing his “bit” in their latest ads in NYC.

His “bit” being taking off his clothes and playing the guitar for small children? Um…how is that not the issue here?!

But, poor guy has to hold onto something. I mean, this is all he has. Especially since his self confidence was totally shot when some 7th grade girls saw his…talent… and laughed in his face.

[Photo courtesy of AOL]

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