This weekend I got drunk. Really drunk. For 13 hours straight. I said inappropriate things, I ate things I would never eat on a normal day (sausage, donuts, mayo…not together), and I threw up in my mouth a little and swallowed it.

But I did not get anywhere near a car and never would have even considered driving anywhere in that state of mind.

So why did yet another celebrity get arrested for driving under the influence? Heather Locklear, who was in a rehab center earlier this year for “anxiety,” was pulled over yesterday in L.A. for driving erratically on the highway. No information has been released as to what was in her system, but come on! When you are doing drugs or drinking, be smart and have someone else drive your car!

You think these people would have learned by now after Nicole, Paris, Lindsay, little Hogan, etc., but no.

This taught me an important lesson, though: never go to L.A. Not only do you have the very real potential of running into Spencer and Heidi, but you also have a very real potential of ending up on the road with one of these dumb and dangerous celebs.

Recently, the Department of Health in England conducted a study of heavy drinkers to find out why they drink. Through a series of focus groups (which is probably the last place a hungover person wants to be) the health professionals concluded that heavy drinkers fall into 9 basic categories.

They outlined their conclusion here.

A lot of the categories overlap, and many categories aren’t included (”It tastes so good,” for example. Or, “I love that cotton mouth feeling in the morning!”). However, I found the study to be interesting and somewhat applicable to the average college lady. Personally, I have fallen into every one of these categories…in a single weekend, but maybe this thing has some merit.

Any maybe my mom was right: “Lauren, no one puts beer in their cereal. You have a problem.”

The report was written for a British man, so I took it upon myself to bring you the facts in words you, a college coed, would understand. Which group do you fall into? Which group do you want to fall into? And why is everyone all “you have a problem” all the time?! Read More »

Puppies are cute, snuggly Cancer detectors.

This can’t be the actual video, right?

Another book I really don’t want to read, but most definitely will.

You can never trust a man to do anything right.

I will never look at Ramen the same way again.

Why are we so addicted to watching rich people on TV?

Want to hate Spencer and Heidi even more? Find out how much money they rake in…for being annoying.

The Clothes that Got me Laid: better than a wingman.

Everyone hates “Project Runway” this season.

Ugh - I should have been a naval architect.

Looks like I won’t be watching the VMAs after all.

With every Olympic games comes a slew of controversy, and this year is no exception. First it was the un-inviting of Joey Cheek. Then it was the American Cyclists who offended the Chinese government by showing up with masks on.

And the problems don’t stop there.
Apparently, Speedo is causing quite a stir.

Their newest high tech design, the Speedo LZR Racer, has become the talk of the world. This is more than just a bathing suit; it is a record breaker. Since its introduction to the pool, 13 world records have been broken. All in the Racer.

Surely, that is no coincidence. The suit (designed with help from NASA) repels water, molds the swimmer’s body into a perfectly aerodynamic shape and even helps a bit with buoyency. Those unable to wear the suit (due to endorsements with other companies) are crying foul: their Racer-wearing opponents have an unfair advantage.

If I were a swimmer, I would be pissed off too. But I am not. I am simply a fan and to me there is a much larger issue here…

The fact that this suit covers up…everything.

Seriously; what the hell happened to the itty bitty Speedos of our past? I know that NO ONE wants to see those on some fat old dude on the beach, but BRING THEM BACK. These swimmers are in the best shape possible. I don’t care about records. I care about abs. And I want to see them.

I am not sure I can even justify watching the swimming competitions now. Sure, I want to see my fellow Wolverine, Michael Phelps, bring home 8 Golds, but I want to see him do it in one of these. Is that too much to ask?

From frat parties to late nights at the bar, power hours to beer pong tournaments, living the college lifestyle can really take it’s toll on your body. Hangovers are a bitch, you can feel your pants getting snug and all those unidentified bruises really don’t go with your collection of sundresses.

And don’t forget about your face.

Those dark circles under your eyes. The wrinkles from all that smoking (first or secondhand!).

Ugh. Partying is not a pretty thing. But what are you supposed to do….stop? Ha! You are no quitter, sister. What is the point of having a pretty face if you can’t take it out on the town? On the other hand, though, if your face is heading downhill now imagine what it is gonna look like in 20 years!

What to do, what to do…. Read More »

Yesterday at 2:53pm EST my phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Sweetie” (it was my mom), “There’s been an earthquake”

My heart stopped.
“Where was it centered?”
“I don’t know”
“How big?”
“They’re saying it was in the 6’s and…”
“Where are you?”
“Driving home from …”
“How are the dogs?”

By now I was shrieking, I barely heard her empty assurances that they must be okay and that she would try to get a hold of someone nearby.

I hung up and rushed to my computer, certain that the worst had happened. Another major Quake…

When I was 8 the ‘94 Northridge Quake destroyed most of my known world. My family was homeless for 9 months and all of our parks were turned into National Guard relocation facilities. For a while I slept with my tennis shoes on—in case I had to climb out of my room the next morning.

It is impossible to describe the relief that washed over me when I finally got through to the LA Times website and saw that it was only a 5.8 (later lowered to a 5.4) with horizontal motion and centered in Chino Hills about 55 miles from my home in the San Fernando Valley. Read More »