So I know I haven’t written in like forever, but it’s time for me to tell you that me and Benji broke up. I totally thought that me and him would last - like I didn’t think that he’d mind that I had another boyfriend.

But whatever, I’m so over Benji and I am totally hearting Chris now. Nicole can KEEP Benji all to herself now.

My new boyfriend like OWNS MySpace so he can help me redo my page so that way if I wanted to really run for President, he’d make it so that the whole country can vote on my page instead of having to go to those polls. Those are probably like really far and out of the way for everyone. But whatever, the election is like next year so that’s plenty of time. I bet we’ll be married by then!!

I don’t normally like to get so serious - but Blackberry, I’m lonely. Like sure I have sex with any guy who gives me the *look* but I don’t have any girls to call to tell them about my sex or if it burns when I pee. LA is too full of jealous girls whose boobs are bigger than mine so I decided that I’m going to go to London to find my new best friend. I think that it’s in France so that means that we can shop there together and everything. Read More »

Save your money and forget Lasik! Glasses are now so chic that those who originally considered themselves “blessed” with perfect vision drool over their blind companions’ stylish eyewear. If you want to embrace this trend but unfortunately have no prescription for glasses, don’t worry! You can destroy your eyesight simply by staring directly at the sun for ten minutes each day.

Ok, so I’m just kidding. But if you wish you could wear glasses, wish no more. This fall, fake reading glasses are all the rage. The Michael Kors fall 2008 runway collection featured several faux eyeglass wearing models who looked HOT (as in sexy librarian hot). Glasses were also spotted in several other runway shows, including Betsey Johnson and Carmen Marc Valvo.

If you’re going to purchase a pair of glasses (fake or prescription), it is important to find the right shape and color for your face. Generally, you should buy glasses with a shape in contrast to that of your face. If you don’t know what your face shape is, or what shape glasses would flatter your face, click here for a simple guide.

After you’ve figured out what shapes work for you, here are the top five eyeglass trends for fall. Hurry up and buy them before classes start. You want to look smart and studious when you meet your new professors! Read More »

I read an article in The New York Times the other day about New York shoppers spending three or four hundred bucks on a pair of sunglasses at stores like Ilori in SoHo. According to the article, market research firm The NPD Group has tracked purchases of luxury goods and, even in this constantly drooping economy, the amount spent on designer sunglasses has gone up while the amount spent on designer purses has gone down.

I’m not at all surprised.

Even more so than a purse or shoes, sunglasses are the first thing people notice about your outfit. You wear them all day and some people, like myself, wear them everyday. So why not drop as much on a pair of Gucci shades as you do on a pair of Manolo’s if you’ve got the spare change?

In recent years sunglasses have become the new It accessory. Pictures of Nicole Richie in oversize glasses that engulfed her tiny head became as ubiquitous in tabloids as pictures of Britney Spear’s cellulite, and the Olsen twins are now more famous for their Ray-Ban Wayfarers than their Balenciaga Motorcycle bags. Even wearing sunglasses at night has become popular with hundreds of pictures of drunk hipsters wearing the Kanye West designed shutter shades in dark clubs on websites like lastnightsparty.com. Read More »

Ben and Jen: Super Fertile.

Too cloudy to go to the beach? Add these 80’s classics to your Netflix queue.

Exclusive look at the crazy new script from Tarantino. Awww yeah!

Nothing ruins a day at the beach quite like a shark. And I really needed a tan!

The new iPhone is out. We are not too happy about it, but what do the critics say?

Teen pregnancy on the up and up for the first time in over a decade. Could this be Juno’s doing?

Also on the rise, Wal-Mart stores. They. Are. Everywhere.

As if TV couldn’t get any worse - Nicole Richie gets another show.

2 words that should never go together: orgasmic and childbirth. Yes, there is a video.

Maybe this will inspire you to recycle. Think of the dolphins, people!

Gender equality on the road at last! Well, at least on the signs. Baby steps, ladies; baby steps.

Ah, those High School girls. We’ve either known them or been them; the girls who jump from best friend to best friend, from one fake friendship to the next, spilling their inner-most secrets, only to dish them out on various social networks as soon as their relationship inevitably fades.

The truth is though, even as we get older, leave high school behind, go to college and move on with our lives, those type of girls will always be there.

Seriously; I am 23 years old and know girls, to this day, that cannot leave the high school drama behind when it comes to growing up, getting over the past and creating lasting bonds with people that are real, genuine and sincere. High school was 5 years ago! Read More »

Blackberry,

I have been so busy and my life has been so hard. No one understands how hard it is to be me. Every1 is so jealous of me that they have to find ways to bring me down. Especially now that Nicole has that dumb, stupid baby.

Like last week - I had a superhot photo shoot to do and I had a smarty idea. The smartyest – like, you know how I always look hot in all of the picshurs that I take. Like every single one. Well, I was thinking like how can I make myself like an even gooder model. And geniousosity - the only thing that could make a picture of me more better would be a PUPPY!

So I pulled over right away to buy one and the store WOULDN’T LET ME. Something about how I don’t feed them or whatever – but like, I hug my puppies when I feel like it and, sometimes, I bring them out to the clubs with me like a good puppy mommy. And if I don’t put them in my closet, then where else would they go? Besides, if I don’t need to eat a lot and I’m so tall, they don’t need to eat either because they’re so tiny and preshus. Read More »

Knowing when to end a long term friendship can be more difficult than any of us would ever like to admit. Wouldn’t it just be a hell of a lot easier if our oldest and supposedly closest friends never bugged out? If they could just stay calm and always be that chill girl we used to kick it with…all would be well with the world. But the fact of the matter is this: A lot of girls go “crazy” eventually and this easily includes girls you’ve known “forever”.

Not that long ago, I moved my best friend since elementary school into my apartment. At first, it was totally awesome. Despite the fact that we had certainly had more than one rough patch in our history of being friends; we were still getting along rather famously once we were living together. That was…of course…until I really started to see how nuts she was.

She was a pathological liar. But this was something that I had always known. She was obsessive with guys. This too was something that I had always known. She had a high level of respect and regard for me…again, something that I had always known. However, I had no clue how far she could possibly take any of these aspects of her character.

FIRST came the jealousy. I had recently started to rearrange my diet and lifestyle, finally putting my foot down and wanting to be healthier over all. In the process of doing this, I ended up dropping a few pounds. She, on the other hand, had always struggled with her weight, but was never quite willing to compromise her tendency to over-eat in exchange for the body she wanted. So when I dropped down to 125 at 5′7 (please note that this is a totally acceptable weight), she started to accuse me of being “scary skinny” and actually called me Nicole Richie. Read More »

Dear Blackberry,

I just got back from Vegas and I am so hungover. Me and Benji spent the whole weekend together.

He got mad at me for five minutes on Friday because I forgot that it was his birthday, but whatever - I pay someone to be my thinker and rememberer but then I remembered that I don’t like talking to smart people so how was I supposed to know?

See? I’m smart enough to remember the important things. He had no right to be mad at me, right, Blackberry?

You know why I like you, Blackberry? Cuz I can tell you stuff and you don’t tell anyone else, not even Nikki or that attention whore mom Nicole.

You know that Nicole only had a baby cuz the magazines weren’t putting her on the cover, right? And she’s so pathetic - she’s like still hanging all over Benji when everyone knows that he’s with me. I think he’s like magic though - like they’ll take pictures with me and him somewhere and then there will be pictures of him and Nicole together at like almost the same time. I know what she’s trying to do. It’s not gonna work. Read More »