What is it about that gets us off? There are websites 100% dedicated to it!

Does it make them seem more attractive when they’re photographed scarfing down hot dogs and slurping milk shakes? Not really.

Relatable? Likable? Personable? Nah.

Just because Jessica Biel eats a sandwich doesn’t mean I’m her new biggest fan and want her to come over and do my nails.

It’s probably because there’s something vulnerable about being caught in the act of eating. Most of the time, I feel kind of sorry for them, their mouths stretched all ugly and their and faces askew.

Just like watching celebrities fall down and/or trip, there’s simply something human about seeing a Cover Girls and Guys stuffing their perfect, rich faces.

Or how about it being just plain FUNNY? Read More »

It looks as though the gossip gods were smiling down on this week because as we start the weekend there was one last dramatic event taking place over in Hollywood.

Nicole Richie, accompanied by her boyfriend and baby daddy Joel Madden, pled guilty to her DUI charge she picked up from the December 2006 DUI incident that involved prescription pills, marijuana, and alcohol.

Today, she was finally sentenced by a California judge.

The judge seemed rather leinient on Richie, who not only let her off with just 4 days to serve, but knocked off a day because he counted the 6 hours Richie served when the arrest occured. Not only that, but Richie has a choice of county or city jail. Now, serving time is a depressing prospect anyway and I don’t really know what jail is better in this situation, but damn. Couldn’t he have like, yelled at her a little or something? Read More »

It’s time for Hollywood to take out the trash.

You know what I’m talking about– Lindsay, Paris, Britney, Nicole, Nicole’s unborn baby, Nicole’s ugly boyfriend, and dare I say…Christina Aguilera. Always rubbed me the wrong way, that one.

H-town is seeming more and more like a ghost town these days with its little coke-infused starlets escaping the summer grit of the city for rehab.

Rehab: it’s the new Hamptons!

But, who is there to look to now? Who will inform us, mere plebes, of fashion trends we cannot afford and only imitate feebly by shopping at Forever 21? Who will entertain us while we slave away at our precariously filing - centric summertime internships? Have we no heroes anymore? No inspiration?

I try to think of understudies for Lilo & Co, but the best I can do is a list of the boring and banal: Anne Hathaway, Natalie Portman, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson. Ugh. Stars– they really are just like us. Meaning? Boring. Read More »

TMZ is reporting that Laguna Beach douchebag Spencer Pratt (boyfriend of the vapid Heidi) and Nicole Riche’s baby daddy Joel Madden had a little bit of a run in last Saturday.

According to Pratt himself, Nicole’s Tattooed Ticket Out of Jail came up to him at the Beverly Hills Hotel screaming “you’ve been talking shit about my girl!” and wouldn’t stop until he was forcibly removed from the area.

Spencer claims it was all a “misunderstanding” stemming from “an interview in Details ages ago where I was misquoted, calling Nicole a skinny bitch. It’s all a misunderstanding. I’ve always thought she’s a really nice girl and I wouldn’t call her that.”

Ugh. Nothing makes me dry heave faster than a rich prick trying to cover his tracks. Looks like Heidi’s got herself her very own BSG.

Good job, Boobalicious. Here’s hoping he’ll love you as much as he loves his hair.

Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie are expecting! Stay tuned to see which baby is better looking.

Some guy got stuck in a balloon. Seriously. Idiot. VIDEO

Girl gets Paris Hilton’s phone number. Considers herself…lucky?

Obesity in America is on the rise. Blame HER mother.

Miss New Jersey is in a jam. Thanks, Facebook!

Did you get your iPhone? Don’t worry, we didn’t either. VIDEO

Our new hero: Man works in treehouse.

1,000 bathroom stalls? What could possibly go wrong?

Nicole Richie is whacked!!! Someone needs to throw her into an unmarked van and force her to live in a psychiatric ward until she can start acting like a normal human.

Not only did Nicole throw a barbeque on Memorial Day that almost killed Mischa Barton, but the invitation to that barbeque is so stupid I have a headache (any and all punctuation attempted by yours truly):

“My fellow Americans, its that time of year! To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer. Let’s stand together as one, live the American dream, take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems. Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans. Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!”

Richie ends her email with: Read More »

Wednesday’s America’s Next Top Model was one for the books. Here’s a rundown:

- As a challenge, the girls had to give themselves fake, one-word “model” names, like “Melrose” or “Giselle”. One of them picked the name “Wholahey,” pronouced “whoooolahaaayyy. So dumb, I LOVES IT. Even dumber? Wholahey WON the challenge!

- Sarah got the boot. She annoyed me from the start, always thinkin her s*&% d’int stank because she was a “professional photographer” and did a fashion show for “Chanel”. Which really means, she posts a lot of pictures on Myspace taken with her disposable camera, and did some cheesy runway show at the local mall in front of the Chanel store.

- There were celebrities at the same party attended by the models themselves! What are the chances?!? We got to watch them awkwardly mix and mingle with them. 50 Cent was so irritatated by Jael bein’ all up in his grill that he pushed her in the pool and she thought it was funny. Well, so did I.

- Ms. Nicole Ritchie herself got involved with some roommate drama when she asked Renee in “confidence” what she thought of the girls, and after Renee told Nicole that she hated Jael, Nicole went behind her back and told Jael exactly what Renee had said! Whew. Scandelous!

Read More »