It’s a battle of the ages. Do blondes really have more fun? Are red heads always saucy? A new study out of London has all the answers, and it seems your hair color reaches far deeper than your roots….

The truth behind those golden locks is that blondes have more going for them than simply being more fun. Those damn blondes also have higher self-esteem and are more likely to go after the things they want in life. Like your boyfriend.

Those bitches.

But don’t worry, brunettes; blondes can’t compete with you in the workplace. The study discovered that brunettes earn higher salaries on average than those blondies. Brunettes are also most likely to be wooed by the world’s richest men (cha ching!).

That is, of course, if a millionaire has never slept with a red head, because, according to the study, those fiesty ladies have the best sex lives of em all.

Which is why I’ve been dying my hair red for years.
Take that, blondes.