I just read the beautifully written (but also mortifying) novella by Ian McKewan, On Chesil Beach. It’s a lovely little book, with well-drawn characters, but I think the main reason it’s been pretty famous this year is because of its infamous sex scene, a scene in which two inexperienced virgins get just about everything wrong.

Without giving it away, I couldn’t help laughing even as I blushed. At the same time, I learned a lot about what NOT to do when the realities of our bodies inevitably trip us up.

1. You must talk about sex. On Chesil Beach is set in the early sixties, a time when it was “simply impossible” for anyone to discuss sex. It’s the ultimate taboo subject even when people are married, and as a result, couples who get together barely know what to do with each other or even what to expect.

In the book, Florence is given a brief pamphlet about the bare bones of sex, but she still doesn’t have the first clue of what to do or what will happen on the man’s side of things. Because of this huge taboo of talking about sex, neither of them can talk healthily about it when things go wrong. Times have changed a lot since then, but I still think the taboo stands in a lot of situations. We’re not supposed to say certain words, protest if something hurts, or talk about what we want. But without having these difficult and embarrassing conversations, people will end up being disappointed, hurt, or just plain confused.

2. Don’t feel ashamed. A powerful sense of shame is another reason why Florence and Edward feel paralyzed in McKewan’s book. When things go wrong, Florence immediately assumes it’s her fault, she has done something wrong. Edward similarly feels ashamed for having “failed.” In reality, sex the first time is harder than TV and movies make it out to be. It takes a little finagling to get the jigsaw pieces together, so to speak, and if either girl or guy feels shame about this, it will taint the whole experience. Read More »

Last week, I wrote about choosing a school. This week, I get a little more specific: choosing a program. This might seem like a no-brainer; I mean, you’re probably not going to attempt an MFA in Puppetry if you just spent four years studying Atmospheric Science, right? Well… you never know. Afterall, Elle Woods went to Law School after majoring in Fashion Merchandising or something. Besides, I can tell you from experience that even if you think you know what you’re applying for, you better double-check.

Case in point: In college, I majored in English, and I was one class shy of earning a film minor. My final semester of college, no film classes that would fulfill my final requirement were offered, and even though I had taken film classes that weren’t part of the minor’s plan of study, they wouldn’t give me the “Film Studies Minor” title unless I took a class that wasn’t freakin’ available. I still get riled up about that, as you can see.

Anyway, I was seeking a Masters degree in English, though I really enjoyed Film Studies as well. Now, when you apply for a grad school program, you might have to choose a field within the realm of your chosen subject. For example, many English programs divide their grad students into Rhet/Comp or Lit majors; my friend is currently getting a PhD in Psychology, but her specialization is Early Childhood Development. So while you may earn a degree in a broad major like Politics, Journalism, or Philosophy, you may have to narrow it down to a specific topic when you apply to grad schools. Read More »

Even though I’m a writer, and an avid fan of art, in general, I’ll admit that I have always been an on and off reader. Raised without television, I read religiously up until the day that I packed my bags and headed off to college. College, however, was a different story. I was always flustered between classes and two jobs and simply couldn’t make the time to read anything other than what I HAD to read.

Now that college is a thing of the past for me, I’ve luckily been able to set aside more time these days for reading, but - sometimes - I need a little inspiration.

Needless to say, I was psyched when Spin Magazine invited me to be a member of their book club. I took up the offer gladly and now I’m thrilled each month to read and discuss the books that the selected members choose. The first book that I read was Milan Kundera’s, ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being‘. And I loved it.

Each sentence is painted artistically and poetically as the stories surrounding several lovers’ intertwined lives unravels. Infidelity is a leading motif in this piece, but the book neither encourages nor discourages it. Instead, the book plants you into a place of perspective. It allows you to see deeply into the lives of those who cheat and break hearts and those who are faithful and get their hearts broken. And every possible variable in between. Read More »

This is a good one for anyone who’s totally suffered through the stuffy, Britannic eons of fussing and formality in Jane Austen novels, just to get to the juicy parts (ooh, Mr. Darcy): according to British screenwriter Andrew Davies, who is practically single-handedly responsible for the PBS “Masterpiece Theater” genre of television adaptation (i.e. video Cliff’s Notes), Ms. Austen was just as into sex as the rest of us girls.

“Sex,” says Davies, who has adapted, like, every single Jane Austen novel for the silver screen, “is in the air.”

It’s just that in Austen’s time, it was was more about what wasn’t shown, than what was. Read More »