If there’s one thing I’ve learned in college, it’s that half of the contacts in my phone are people I don’t know. I may have known them for the length of a drink or a line outside my favorite bar, but memory fades with last call.

In any case, what makes the randoms in my phone stand out is how they’re entered as a contact… affectionately re-named, if you will.

We all do it, and I really do lament my memory slipping, but as I was going through my contacts list the other day, I couldn’t help but crack up at some of the best names I found in my phone. After which I was reminded of some of the better names and numbers taken down by some of my friends.

With no further ado, the best contacts I completely forgot about, and you likely have in your phone too (please note that actual names have been changed on the off chance any of these people remember exchanging numbers with me or my friends):

1. John Cinco de Mayo
Ah, yes, you remember the Cinco de Mayo story. What a glorious and drunken event. He’s still in my phone, identified by when I met him. This can also occur with cities and venues as well (see below)… Read More »

I’m going to preface this by saying I truly wish I was making it up.

I set myself up on a blind date with a beautiful, foreign, twenty-something man last weekend after meeting him at a bar. And by meeting, I mean, chatting for two seconds while waiting for friends, leaving, then going back into the bar to pull a stunt I had abandoned since freshman year of college. I was a few drinks into my evening, and he had been amiable during our little chat before…

“I’m really sorry, I never do this–” (blatant lie… it’s just been awhile) “–but I’d really like to see you again. Could I get your number?”

Why, yes, he said, I could. High five, self! Confidence, boosted.

We ultimately decided to meet for drinks the following weekend. Why did it have to be that weekend? Oh, because of course he was MOVING TO EUROPE the following week. The night I met him had been his going away party.

Naturally, the first date I’ve been on in months would have no potential to go anywhere. But he was hot, and I thoroughly enjoyed that accent. This was a pressure-free situation, and he showed up in a suit. Screw Europe. Europe had nothing on my evening out with this guy.

Things were great… and then came a random man who approached and started chatting Date up, gesturing to me and asking, “That your girlfriend?”

Awkward. Read More »