Two days into freshman year I went to my first frat party. Walking into the Greek lettered doors made me feel like I had just stepped onto a movie set. Everyone had red solo cups! Everyone was dancing and having oodles of fun! And Oh my god! Is that an ice-luge!? Yeah, best night of my life…until the cops came.

Regardless, for the next two years I lived and loved the open frat parties. I thought our love affair would never end…and then, this past weekend we broke up. Now, I still enjoy the small frat mixers but the crazy parties, have gotten…well, old. “Why? What could be better than living in an animal house world?” You ask.

Well, here are my top five answers.

The abundance of scantily clad freshmen. Sure, I was once a freshman myself, and being away from home and being able to wear and do whatever you want is exciting, but eventually you will regret wearing a bandana-sized piece of cloth as a top.  And I’m all for sex and I’m all for dancing but do you really need to attempt both simultaneously on the dance floor in front of everyone? It seems these open parties contain about 80% girls and about 75% of those are freshmen girls. Trust me ladies, the body shot phrase will get old, and I’m over watching it.

One word: Keystone. Really guys, Keystone Light, at every party? Keystone has got to be one of the grossest, cheapest liquids ever created. Spring for something a few notches higher. I’m not saying I expect margaritas to be blended before my eyes (although that would be amazing) but there are better beverages out there than Keystone. PLEASE switch it up! Boxed wine would be an immense step up for just as much money! Get some class, guys. Read More »

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I remember being in middle school when I first heard about Supergrass. I always wondered if their name wasn’t just code for marijuana…and I still wonder that after having seen them in NYC at Webster Hall…but I mean that in the best of ways. The band, to be honest, gave me a whole lot more than I bargained for. I went into the show rather aimlessly with a friend and waited for them to start their set.

The crowd around me was buzzing, filled with twenty and thirty somethings; all thoroughly enthusiastic about the show. I sipped on my Corona and waited. Finally, the band boldly took their stage-hollow-body guitars in hand.

Automatically, I was taken back by their energy and their actual songs. Unlike so many other acts these days, they didn’t employ a crew of dancers or fancy lighting techs to help take the focus off of their songs. (Note: Why do so many bands do that these days? Wouldn’t it just be cheaper to work on the music than to hire an entourage of cover-up specialists? Just a thought.) They brought their songs to the table eagerly and the audience eagerly received them. Read More »

While watching Project Runway last night, I realized a few things. For one, I realized that Daniel (dude with black hair who is really not so memorable as he keeps sneakin’ by at the runway) totally wanted to do Wesley (boring dude who got sent home last week). I also came to the conclusion that Blayne’s lack of tanning is actually having an effect on him and his sanity…and he is really started to freak me out.

Oh, and I realized that this season of Project Runway is really sort of sucky.

The designers all suck. Most of them are horribly boring (hem hem, Jennifer) and the rest just annoy me. It is sad that the only ones that stand out to me are Suede (who talks in the third person), Blayne (who is neon orange) and Stella (who kills cows and uses their flesh for pants and vests). I used to LOVE the designers on the show and had a clear favorite every season.

This season? Well, I guess I sorta still love Tim Gunn.

Last night’s challenge was to get inspiration from NYC at night, which was just another creative way to incorporate product placement (cool cameras!) into the show. And how perfect was it that Blayne – lover of all things neon (including his skintone) – got dropped off in Times Square? Or that Stella managed to find the one piece of leather in the entire city, so she could take her inspiration from it? Read More »

“Birds of the feather flock together” is a phrase my mother has repeated to me since I was a child. I used to hate her for this phrase. I used to accuse her of being judgmental and mean-spirited for judging my friends by the company that they kept. But now…well…now the story is a little bit different. As I have grown up on my own - outside of the house and outside of my mother’s phrases - I have begun to realize just how right she was.

More often than not these days, I find myself repeating that phrase. It’s not that I assume that a person is just like their negative friends, but I do wonder: why surround yourself with negativity? So many times, I hear people justifying their own friends. They’ll explain that their friend is ‘obnoxious’ or ‘self-centered’. Sure, we all have our negative qualities, but when a person’s negative qualities stand out against everything else…why would you want to be around that person?

Maybe I’m just biased because I have the best friends in the world. I throw parties often and I always pride myself in the fact that all of my circles of friends mingle together flawlessly each time. My friends always leave my parties raving about how awesome the people they met at my party are. I guess since I’m in NYC now, I can be picky. There are enough people in NYC to allow for me to have well-balanced, good-hearted friends across the board.

Read More »

When I was 12 I had thick bangs, giant braces and a wardrobe that consisted of my brothers’ yellow-crusted-arm-pitted-hand-me-downs. I wore Umbros – one leg green, one leg purple – and maroon reverse fit jeans (read: mom jeans). I thought I was super stylish when I threw on one of my brother’s flannel button downs…and only buttoned the middle one!

I realize times have changed and fashion is a lot more accessible to the youngsters, but this girl is really making me feel like sh*t. Even now. And I really love my wardrobe. Or, I did, until I started seeing hers.

I don’t really know who this chicadee is and I totally question who is really behind the writing of this blog (because there is no way in hell a 12 year old could write this way….and if she can, I hate her even more), but none of that really matters. This little fashionista clearly exists…and obviously does so just to make us normal people feel bad about ourselves.

The whole thing is just crazy. She struts her chic NYC style down the hallways of her middle school. She rocks vintage frocks as she jumps the swings on the playground. And she can rock a look like this without looking totally ridiculous. Read More »

I have a subscription to New York Magazine. I like to read it because the cover articles tend to be edgy and intelligent, and the publication as a whole tends to be more pop culture friendly than their slightly stuffy counter-periodical, The New Yorker. If you don’t live in NYC or around it, you might not have heard about NY Mag, which is fine. It’s a little inside-jokey. A little self-referential — cultivating a between-the-lines feeling that the New York publishing world is the center of the universe.

But like that slightly snotty friend who turns around and buys everyone a round of drinks at the bar, I just can’t seem to break up with NY Mag and read my weekly copy faithfully. There’s only one thing about the periodical that really bothers me, and it usually can be skipped over quite readily…unless of course, you’re me, reading it last night.

You see, yesterday I had a long day. The bus ride back from work was so packed it induced claustrophobia, and two people decided to get into a screaming match that included gems such as “SHUT UP, RETARD!!”, “YOU’RE THE RETARD!!”, “ON YOUR MOM!!”, “ON YOURS, MINE’S DEAD!!”. When I got home, my internet and cable were still not working…a problem left over from the weekend, and it was probably around 105 F in my apartment. Pouring myself a bowl of cereal, I sat down and decided to spend the evening reading, and my new copy of New York Magazine was the first thing I got my exhausted hands on. Read More »

Put this under Things You Should Not Do If You Want To Remain A Happy Person: finding out what your ex is up to now.

To preface, I’m not talking about the person you dated for a month who you kind of cared about but never enough to commit and / or introduce him to your friends. If you want to look through that guy’s Facebook or Myspace, go ahead. Seeing him with his arms wrapped around another girl will probably do nothing but make you kind of glad you’re no longer seeing someone who thinks weird neck tattoos of skulls are cool.

But look, if you loved the dude (or chick), and it kind of ripped your heart out when things ended, do yourself a favor let them remain a mystery. Don’t try to find them on Facebook if you’re not already connected, unfriend them if you are, don’t ask mutual friends about who they’re dating, and for the love of god, DON’T GOOGLE THEM.

I am a naturally nosey person, but after The Big Ex and I split up years ago, I refused to seek out information on the girl he started dating a mere few weeks after our 4 year stint ended. I knew my friends had info, I could tell by their eyes whenever they tried to jump away from the subject, but I never pressed them. And when information was accidentally spilled to me, I made a conscious effort to change the subject and told people “I really don’t care to know”. It was hard, because I did care to know, but I knew that need for knowledge was coming from a macabre place in my brain that loved to torture the rest of me. Read More »

Oh man. Wednesdays kill me. Yes, it’s the middle of the week, but it’s only the middle of the week!  2.5 more days to go. And no good drink specials at the bar. What I wouldn’t give for a Boxed-Wine Wednesday right about now.

But wait! There is good news. Finally, something to be excited about on a sad, sad Wednesday morning:
Happy Endings.

Yeah, you read that right. And no, I am not talking about a giant piece of carrot cake (with extra frosting) after a great meal. I am talkin’ about happy endings. You know; the kind that every man dreams of when he goes in for a massage. Those infamous acts that are quite popular in East Asia.

I am talking about ORGASMS, people. Orgasms that you don’t have to get dressed up for. Orgasms that you don’t have to wear heels for. Or work for. Or bat your eyelashes for.

Orgasms you can just….order. Read More »

More and more people are looking for love online these days and I’ll admit, I’m one of them. I honestly don’t know where else to find a date besides the typical bar/club scene, which seems much more conducive to finding a one night stand than finding love. I don’t work in an environment where I meet eligible bachelors, I pretty much know my friends’ friends so getting set up isn’t really an option. So where else do you look? People tell me I should do something I enjoy; a cooking class, hanging out in Barnes & Noble, join some sort of sports league and I’ll meet a guy who shares similar interests with me, but as social as I am, I’m not one to go to a cooking class alone, and I have yet to meet a guy in B&N. So that leaves me with the internet.

Sure, it’s scary and I’ve had my fair share of weirdos or guys who were several inches shorter than what they claimed, or sent pictures from when they were 10 years and 50 pounds lighter, but I’ve also been taken on some pretty amazing dates and met some really cool guys, some of whom I’ve remained friends with. Obviously, my prince hasn’t come along, but maybe the timing just hasn’t been right. I’ve tried a lot of the sites out there; match.com, Plenty of Fish, okcupid, Craig’s List, eHarmony and even Jdate (yes, I’m a shiksa who likes Jewish boys). Thus far, I’ve had the best luck on Craig’s List and the worst luck with match and eHarmony (the one that claims it’ll help you find your soulmate), but as I’m still single, I haven’t had the luck I’m really looking for, so I decided to try out a new site, it’s called crazyblinddate.com, and yes, it’s crazy. Read More »