The world’s fattest man, Manuel Uribe, recently married his girlfriend of 2 years, Claudia Solis, in Mexico. This left many a women pondering “…and why am I still single?”

The answer is simple: You aren’t eating enough.

Studies show that overweight women have more sex than women of average weight. In fact, according to research done by the University of Hawaii and Oregon State, “Ninety-two percent of overweight women reported having a history of sexual intercourse with a man, as opposed to 87 percent of women with a normal body mass index.”

92%. N-I-N-E-T-Y-T-W-O.
That’s no small number…

Dr. Bliss Kaneshiro from the University of Hawaii’s School of Medicine said that “These results were unexpected and we don’t really know why this is the case.”

Maybe it’s because these women have a bit more to love; maybe they are self-confident without any crazy body issues; or maybe we are finally seeing that men are not attracted to super thin women, but rather to women with a more natural and curvy body.

Which would be great news for women everywhere. Especially me…as I sit here eating a bagel. So this Halloween, ladies, all I can say is: indulge in your favorite chocolatey treats!

It’ll up your chances of gettin laid!

We’ve all heard of the crazy lengths that people go to for weight loss: diet sunglasses that tint everything blue and supposedly make food less appealing, torturous diets that consist of only cabbage soup, and my personal favorite: slimming soap. Because washing away your fat is just so much easier than just eating healthy and exercising.

Well, now researchers at UC San Diego have performed the first U.S. gastrectomy, a procedure where 80 percent of the stomach is removed, through an area that should never have anything other than a baby coming out of it.

Yup, that’s right, they removed a chunk of stomach through a woman’s vagina.

All in the name of weight loss.

I was baffled after reading this and had to find out details… Apparently, the procedure is very promising for the future of obesity surgery. According to the article, “This new ‘natural orifice’ technique may be an attractive alternative for the 200,000 U.S. patients who undergo surgery for the treatment of obesity each year.”

I’m sorry, but I think I’ll keep my ‘natural orifice’ off limits as an exit route for parts of my insides. Read More »

We always hear about the obesity epidemic in America: It’s a major issue! People are dying! Fat people are evil! While it’s true that being overweight can lead to serious health problems, it is not true that being overweight automatically means being unhealthy.

Which explains the new “Fat Acceptance” movement that is spreading across the country. Activists and supporters of this movement are screaming from the rooftops that being fat is OK, and as long as people are making good choices to support a healthy lifestyle it should not matter what size pants they wear.

And I totally concur. I cannot tell you how sick I am of salads, fad diets and feeling guilty when I want a Potbelly Oreo Shake so badly I could punch someone. So, you know what? I’m joining this movement and I urge you to do the same. Stop kicking yourself for enjoying a hot dog at your football tailgate. Stop crying after a late night pizza binge.

Put down that carrot and join me in embracing ourselves, no matter what size we are. And what is the best way to do that? By enjoying some of life’s most delectable treats. Come on, it’s OK; fat is in! Read More »

Recently, PETA issued a letter to ice cream moguls Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield suggesting that instead of using cow milk for their creamy deliciousness (mmm..Phish Food), Ben & Jerry should consider switching to human breast milk.

Ew, what?

According to PETA’s executive V.P. Tracy Reiman, breast milk is healthier than cow’s milk since “Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer.”

Riiiiiiiiiight.

And of course, it’s better for the cows. Cows, like humans, only lactate during and after pregnancy so in order to keep the milk a-comin,’ heifers are periodically impregnated every nine months.

So, ok, I’m 100% against animal cruelty, but really? Don’t humans also only lactate during and after pregnancy? Would it not be cruel to therefore periodically impregnate women to produce enough milk for this venture? And where would Ben and Jerry find enough women willing to have their breasts pumped to feed America’s need for Chunky Monkey?

Milk, that is cow’s milk, has been part of human diet since, forever, and I just don’t think that human breast milk is really going to replace it. And let’s be real, who would actually eat ice cream made from human-teet milk? Besides a few freaks out there who are prolly into that…

(Photo from www.missbehavemag.com)

Last December, The Journal of the American Medical Association reported that over the last twelve years, death rates among 2,600 adults 60 and older were slightly lower in overweight individuals than in normal weight adults.

Wait, what? Isn’t obesity a major health concern?

Actually, the New York Times reports that “despite concerns about an obesity epidemic, there is growing evidence that our obsession about weight as a primary measure of health may be misguided.”

It seems that medical research is taking a different path down the road of health, obesity, and weight loss studies. In fact, the Archives of Internal Medicine, as referenced in the Times suggests that half of overweight people and one third of obese people are actually “metabolically healthy.”

America’s obsession with beauty and looks has long stereotyped overweight people in a negative light. However, studies such as those mentioned above are proving that in many cases, thin or underweight people are in poorer health than those with a few excess pounds. The Journal of the American Medical Association conducted fitness tests and observed mortality rates of their subjects, and discovered that “fitness level, regardless of body mass index, was the strongest predictor of mortality risk.” Therefore, skinny people blessed with a fast metabolism will still find working out to be advantageous to their health, and “big boned” individuals should not be written off as being “lazy” or “sluggish,” as stereotypes suggest. Read More »

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Ryan, if you would just date me, you would have no home to wreck!

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Americans hate fat people.

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Make fun of yourself. I dig it

The grey area of sexual responsibility

Why does Hollywood insist on remakes?

The cast members on CBS’s Big Brother — OH MY GOD THIS IS SO SCARY!! — survive yesterday’s earthquake

I don’t know what it is about today, but somehow we have come across some seriously gross sh*t on the internet. Maybe we have too much time on our hands? Or maybe Tuesdays are just unlucky. Whatever the reason, we can’t keep it to ourselves. It’s just too….gross.

We know you are all out there taking a break from the summer classes/laying by the pool/that awful summer job and you need soemthing to do. So, here it is.

Click with caution. Oh, and learn from our mistakes: put down the snack foods, ladies. Somehow that Oreo Cakester just isn’t as tasty when accompanied by incest, moose knuckles and old lady hoo-hahs.

Which is worse: sex with your brother or sex with someone who looks exactly like your daughter? Read More »