I hope you are staying in tonight, because the opening ceremonies are gonna be off the chain!

Tara Reid will not be Dancing with the Stars. Drinking with the stars, however? She’s got that one in the bag.

These women can totally kick your ass.

Woman arrested for posting “sexual” stories online. We are so. screwed.

This might be the weirdest phobia ever. And the best video.

These kids somehow make me feel inadequate.

Forget Labor Day; September 2nd should be a national holiday!

Bad News: Ben and Jerry will not be making a Crack Cocaine/Horse Tranquilizer ice cream anytime soon.

Speaking of drugs…let’s hope Amy Winehouse is washing her hands…

Weird foods from the Olympic games.

Practice (extra) safe sex. You know, just to be abso-freaking-lutely sure.

This story is old, but the photo is priceless.

Man posts ad on Craigslist looking for a MILF…and gets one. Kinda.