I spend about 10 hours a day online at work. When I finally dislodge my ass from the chair and head home for the evening, I check my email on my phone while stuck in traffic, or sitting at red lights. When I get home, I power up my laptop and settle in for an evening with my trusty friend, Mr. Internet.

I talk to my friends online. I shop online. I work online. I date online. I stalk online.

My life revolves around the computer and it’s starting to show.

Since I started using AOL in second grade, my social life has moved from the actual world into the World Wide Web. The internet makes it all so easy! Like talking to my friends in other countries or, more central to my life, confronting people and bitching them out when they piss me off.

You know you’ve been there; you have so many things you want to say to someone (like, I don’t know…an ex?) but pussy out when you try to talk to them in person. So, you bring it all up on AIM. And the shit starts flying. You lay it all on the table, turn away from the screen as you click “send” and wait for AIM to tell you if they are typing a response. (Bonus points if you also tune into some really awesome angry/tear jerker songs to set the mood.) Read More »

Have you ever said, “I just want to date for fun without getting into anything serious” or “Gosh, I haven’t gotten any action in a while”? If so, I think I have the perfect website for you. With OnlineBootyCall.com, you can actively participate in online “dating” without all that pesky dating and commitment stuff.

Known as a “dating site for singles who enjoy being single,” OnlineBootyCall.com promises to help you find the “pieces without the puzzle.” Thank God, because I’m always complaining that I just want a whole pile of mismatched puzzle pieces without actually being able to put them together.

The website is free to use and promises that nobody will contact you unless you accept a booty call invitation. They just ask that you follow their booty call commandments listed at their site. You know, stuff like: “though shalt get out before the sun rises,” and “though shalt kiss anything except my mouth” and of course, “There shall be no cuddling–ever!” I wasn’t aware that booty calls always had to be so, um, impersonal.

I realize it can be difficult to find your soul mate, and that’s why so many people turn to online dating. But really, people, is it that hard to find a booty call? I could just go to the bar down the street if I was looking for a little action, no strings attached. And if that was too much work, I could easily turn to the “casual encounters” section of Cragslist. Read More »

I finally broke down and tried online dating.

Now, before you start judging me, hear me out! I too was of the “online dating is kind of weird and creepy” mentality, until a good friend of mine gave it a try and met a really sweet, funny, cute guy. Totally not creepy at all!

Maybe I could give it a try…I mean, I could just create a profile, no obligation to go on any dates at all. I’ve been feeling stuck in a rut lately–I seem to meet the same guy over and over. We like each other, we’re attracted to each other, but he doesn’t want a relationship. The online dating community, I figured, is full of like-minded people, people who are looking to meet someone and really date, instead of just hooking up.

I created a profile and tried to pick out some flattering-but-accurate photos. I listed my interests, what I like to do, and picked out a few criteria for my potential man (non-smoker please!) One click, and I was done.

I got a few messages from guys I wasn’t really interested in. I had decided that, since I was just testing it out, I wouldn’t actually search for anyone, I would just have a look at whoever expressed interest in me. Finally, a few days later, I got a note from a cute guy. He had taken my little “about me” section and modified it so it was about him. Funny! His profile was witty, and we shared a lot of interests. He had a few pictures posted, and he looked totally my type–skinny, tall, glasses.

I figured, what the heck, why not? I responded. We exchanged a few clever e-mails back and forth before finally deciding to hang out. We picked a restaurant, a day, and a time. So far, so good. Read More »

Would you date an African-American? How about an Indian? Or a Caucasian?

Online dating services want to know. When you fill out a profile, they’ll often ask you questions about what kind of people you prefer to date, including questions regarding ethnicity. They seem innocent enough…but are they?

I had a really thought-provoking conversation about it with a friend the other day. “I was sitting behind somebody who was filling out an online dating application,” she said, “and they put down that they preferred not to date Asian people.”

“Yeah?” I said.

“I couldn’t believe it!” she went on. “I thought that was the most racist thing I had ever seen!”

And I couldn’t believe she thought that. “You’re kidding, right?” I said. “People are allowed to have preferences about the looks of the people they date. It’s not racist.”

I can’t remember what the results of our discussion were, but I do remember how intrigued I was by the thought that ethnicity-related preference questions were such a hot topic. She really got me thinking. Were the questions themselves racist? Was somebody who didn’t want to date people in a specific ethnic group really racist? Read More »

So you’re probably thinking my drunk self from the last post sloppily filled out an online dating profile (with phenomenal coherence) after her long, hard night alone and signed herself up without a second thought.

Please. I had the sense to wait a bit and soberly research this. CrazyBlindDate.com and I were hardly acquaintances. In fact, I hadn’t heard about this service until I started looking up different types of dating sites…

Basically, CBD is just meeting someone, once, at a bar or coffee shop. No strings after the first 20 minutes. This isn’t necessarily for someone looking for a future wife, so much as a bored guy on a weeknight whose friends are all working late.

CBD is available in 4 cities: Austin, San Francisco, Boston, and obviously New York. You first decide how you want to date: go solo and meet a complete stranger one-on-one, sign up with a friend and meet two strangers, or say you’ll do either. Read More »

He didn’t look like a stalker. He looked like a nice, well-mannered twentysomething with a fashion sense that lurched toward the emo.

He didn’t sound like a stalker, either. He sounded nice, and friendly, and totally easygoing.

But even as I walked into the coffee shop and saw the sleek blond hair, the stylish hipster belt, and the anti-used-car-salesman smile of a nice-looking 23-year-old, there was still a little part of me that feared I was meeting with a middle-aged alcoholic in (a really good) disguise.

He was polite, funny, interesting, and sweet. He knew that the idea of dating someone I had met online scared me, so he did everything he could think of to make me feel more at ease. He opened car doors for me, he knew how to cook, he wasn’t messy, and he kissed exactly like how the guys in my Prince Charming dreams always have.

Thanks to OKCupid, my life had become one big Kodak moment—one big temporary Kodak moment, that is. I was scheduled to leave in three weeks for a semester abroad in China, and I wasn’t about to turn down any guys who’d offer to take me out for dumplings and tea there just because of some contrived connection I had with a dude I’d met online at home.

I sat Danny down a week before I was scheduled to leave. “I have to be single when I go to China,” I said.

“I completely understand,” he answered. “That’s fine.”

I got on the plane feeling great. Then I found out that as soon as I’d left, Danny ran out and bought a wall calendar and a thick red marker. “What’d you do that for?” I asked. Read More »

For some reason, after a few cocktails, I feel the need to delve into the personal lives of others. I call this tactic an “h-to-h,” or heart-to-heart, whereupon after listening for all of two minutes, I find it appropriate to tell a person how wonderful they are and how they should never settle in life.

Without fail, this innocuous good deed always comes back to bite me in the ass. Something about the road to hell being paved with good intentions, I guess. If you’re not religious and live in the tri-state area, think of Times Square at rush hour when you need to get just beyond it. Yeah. Hell’s probably exactly like that.

One of my cab drivers this weekend and I had a great little h-to-h on the trek from SoHo to the UES after leaving a birthday party. I figure driving a taxi must be a real hit-or-miss form of employment, and so, with a pretty strong buzz going, I decided to ask who was the worst of this guy’s clientele. Read More »

~CHecK oUT mY FRee WeBcaM!~

No thanks, Fembot.

Online-dating sites, while fun and successful for those in the know, can be very daunting to your average, not-so-computer-savvy individual. Getting lost in the sea of PC-murdering spam and creepy come-hithers when looking for a date online is quite simple when you don’t have a clue what to do.

What gives, internet?

Bridging the gap between the informal, formal and humorous is WooMe, an intuitive way to meet people online in a more interactive fashion. Read More »