I am an expert in awkward situations. When I first meet people, more often than not, I leave a horrible first impression. I am similarly awkward in my attempts to be a part of the dating scene.

Just last week, a coworker exclaimed, “Kathryn, you have no game. Your entire approach is off!” Yes, this is true. But somehow, I still get some action, which is why she followed her (rather harsh) declaration with the question, “How do you do it?”

Still, no matter how many times I’ve immediately wished I could retract the bizarre statement that just came out of my mouth, I’ve also been with, or had friends who have been with, equally hopeless guys.

Reviewing my own traumatic events, as well as some of my friends’ bizarre sexual encounters, I’ve compiled a list of some of the worst things to say during sex. Because I’m a woman, they are written from a female perspective, but each of these can be just as cringe-worthy coming from a guy.

1. “Ohhhh, Michael… I mean… Dan?”
Make sure you know the name of the person you’re inviting past the pearly gates. Calling someone by another name will at once crush your partner’s ego and make you look sleazy. Once, I was hooking up with a guy and he proceeded to pour out his feelings for another girl… and try to get my advice on how to go about courting her. That really sucked, and he was pissed when I cut our session short. Read More »

It’s been a solid thirty minutes since you set up shop at the library and somehow you can’t quite get past the first line of chapter one.

Your eyes have been wandering over to gaze at that cute boy in your American Lit class (Damn, he’s got nice arms), you’ve gotten up to use the bathroom about ten times (What? You had to pee) and you’ve perused through your roomie’s new photo album on Facebook (Where’s that pic of you in that tennis ho outfit?).

We’ve seen it a thousand times and you know what it’s called: procrastination. Unfortunately, friends, we’re pretty much sabotaging ourselves.

Why? Two procrastination experts – yes, they study our laziness for a living – came up with a Top 10 list (but be forewarned: one of the psychologists is Canadian).

10. For 20 percent of the population, procrastination is a lifestyle. On college campuses, we thought 87 percent sounded more accurate, but we’re no psychologists.

9. Our culture doesn’t take procrastination as a serious problem. They say there’s more of it in the U.S. because we’re nice people and don’t call others out on their laziness. We believe the doctors have never visited New York City or driven through rush hour traffic in Los Angeles.

8. Procrastinators don’t have time management problems but are more optimistic about time than others. Read More »