In this day and age, much is expected of men once they reach that strange college age: they must be strong yet sensitive, mature yet playful, erudite yet down-to-earth.

And most of all they must have a damn condom on them when the time comes. But of course, they forget; they were probably thinking something manly, like going to the moon or doing their Stats homework.

Make no mistake: if you’re gunning for it, sexy time will happen at college, and inevitably you’ll sometimes get stuck picking up the contraceptive slack. When you do, you’ll need to know your condoms. You don’t want any unpleasant surprises (”Honey, this is a sea anenome”).

Here are a few some notes, with thanks to the University of Connecticut’s Health Services office.

Obviously, everyone knows how to put a condom on. Obviously! Right? Double check, because even if you’re not the one wearing the jimmy hat, you’ll want to be keeping the dude honest. It’s very manly to make stupid mistakes.

Normal condoms don’t really need an explanation. It’s notable, though, that there’s nothing actually special about Trojans, other than their cool namesake (nobody ever mentions the ancient Babylonian epic “Durexia” for example). They aren’t any more durable or comfortable than any other standard brand. Read More »

For those of you who follow any of my entries on here, if you know anything about me, you know this one thing: I like sex. I like it a lot and I have made the argument on here, multiple times, that a lady can still be a lady and have sex whenever SHE wants…including the first date.

But I did something this past weekend that I haven’t done in five years: I did NOT have sex when I wanted to, and could have.

A man who I’ve had a flirtatious relationship with for the last 10 months has recently been coming on more strongly. He’s been asking me out on ‘official’ dates and telling me how it drives him nuts that I hook up with other guys but I have never attempted to even touch him. (And I laughed some sort of maniacal laugh in my head at that one…I loved finding out that I was driving him crazy with desire. I’m real sick like that.)

We made some plans for Saturday night and I blew them off. I was busy with my writing and had no desire to leave my neighborhood. I kindly let him know that he was welcome to meet me in my neighborhood, but that I was on too much of an artistic kick to travel. (He’s an artist, so I didn’t expect this to be weird for him to hear at all). And apparently, it wasn’t weird for him, because he got in a car and drove over. Read More »

So I have a confession to make: Before reading your insightful comments on my, ‘Reconnecting With the Ex‘ post I did something stupid.

Like a mindless monkey, I welcomed the guy into my house. He greeted me with a bottle of wine. Nervously, we sat in my living room chit-chatting (both knowing in the back of our minds what could happen). He was trying to find a corner to sit in comfortably while I was painted the room. Awkward as humanly possible.

I wasn’t ready to give into him again. But, as always happens with alcohol always, my opinion was slightly different after a few glasses of wine. So, an empty bottle later, we were sprawled out on my couch, covered in paint, holding hands.

(Awww, cute, right? PUKE.) Read More »

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No one wants to wear Perez’s stuff.  Where are all those emo tweens when you need ‘em?

As young, sexy singles (or not-so-singles), who doesn’t love a rousing bedroom session that gets the sweat running and the endorphins pumping at full speed? As I’m sure we all know, sex can easily fall into the routine category; kiss a little bit, feel eachother up, oral sex (if you’re lucky) and then it’s missionary, girl-on-top or the always faithful, doggy. And hey, those sessions can be fantastic, mind-blowing and all those other things, but aren’t there times when you want to break out of a rut and try something new and exciting?
Like, say that new position you read about in Cosmo that requires you to stand on your head while he balances on one foot?

I’m here to tell you, these positions, while alluring in theory are not only an excessive amount of work (that isn’t always worth that coveted “O”), they can even be hazardous to your health…anyone ever heard of a sex injury (or as my friends and I call it, a sexjury)? Read More »

Q: I gave head to a guy I met when I was studying abroad, and now I’m worried about STDs. We didn’t use a condom, but he didn’t orgasm. Should I still get tested?

A: Don’t get yourself too worked up over it, but yes, you should get tested. Really, you should get tested after every new sexual partner (yes, oral sex counts). I’ll preface this by saying that I’m not a doctor–which is especially why you should see one–but I do strongly urge you to go get tested, for your health and more so, your peace of mind.

The greater the quantity of infected semen you’re exposed to, the greater the chances are that you may have something–of course, that’s assuming in the first place that the guy even has an STD. Since he didn’t ejaculate, you were at most, only exposed to pre-cum–so yes, it’s technically possible you caught something if he was infected, but the risk is low.

For something like HIV or hepatitis B, which is passed through the bloodstream, you would have to have had abrasions or cuts in your mouth (from a dental visit or biting your tongue, for example.) The same isn’t true for genital warts or herpes, which can spread through contact with the lesion. Even if you inspected his package with a microscope before going downtown, and you’re sure you didn’t see anything suspicious, remember that it’s still possible (but not super likely) to catch something even if there is no active, visible outbreak. Read More »

Deflowering a virgin is something that guys think about…and they usually think about it in one of two ways: they either are dying to do it because they love the idea of being a girl’s “first” OR they’re terrified of it because they can’t emotionally throw down and they don’t think it’d be fair to rob a girl of her innocence without being able to give her foot massages and take her out on dates.

However, when I deflowered my first and only (or so I hope to be my first and only) virgin; I wasn’t thinking about either one of these things. Because I didn’t know he was a virgin. I had just met him.

Here’s what I DID know:

-He was bangin’ hot.
-He was a few years younger than me. However, he was 19 and legal.
-He was shy around me and I thought it was cute.
-He was willing to drive two hours to meet up with me the day after he met me.
-He still lived with his parents.
-He worked at Jamba Juice.

Here’s what I found out during the act:

-He was afraid of giving oral. I taught him how. (In my defense; I believed that there was a possibility he could have been inexperienced with oral, but still experienced with intercourse.)

-He had no idea how to take charge in sex. (Yawn. I hate that.)

Here’s what happened after the act: Read More »

Many women see their backdoor as a one-way street, so to speak. To them, anal sex is more laughable than sexy and it’s understandable that they should feel that way–after all, what has popular culture told us about anal sex? That it’s funny, disgusting, painful, or the dangerous means of a deviant lifestyle.

I will concede that anal sex is funny at times, but only so much as sex as a whole is funny (which it really should be). Also, we as a society seem to need to make light of the things that make us uncomfortable, and anal sex is still very taboo culturally because of widespread misinformation and closed minds.

For instance, many people still associate anal sex with homosexuality and the AIDS epidemic, and let their ignorance about the lifestyle inform their ideas about the nature of the act. Granted, some studies have shown that sexually transmitted diseases are more easily spread through anal sex, but they are even more easily preventable if the sex is practiced safely.

For all its perceived perversion, anal sex seems to be growing in popularity. In a 2005 study by the Center for Disease Control, they found that 34% of men and 32% of women between the ages of 22-24 have anal sex with the opposite sex, up from 20% in 1990. The Guide to Getting it On also reports that 30-40% of all heterosexual couples in this country have tried anal intercourse, with up to half of these continuing to do it on an occasional basis. Read More »

While perusing (and by “perusing” I mean obsessively checking and re-checking) Facebook for the fourth time yesterday, I noticed that no one had done anything since the last time I logged in (an hour before). In a fit of never ending boredom that made signing off impossible, I decided to look at pictures of me.

Of the 300ish photos of me, 250 involved drinking and 249 of those involved me making some sort of awful face. Not like “I wasn’t ready for the camera” awful; more like, “I am going to make the ugliest face I can think of” awful. The sad part is that I can distinctly remember taking most of those pictures and consciously making the faces that are now staring back at (and horrifying) me.

I even giggled as I made one of my uglier faces and poked my head into what would have been a cute picture of friends. Why did I ever think that was a good idea? Read More »

Occasionally during my down time at my “real person” job post college, I peruse my alma mater’s student newspaper online. I suppose it’s my way of living vicariously through the drama and events still going on at my beloved campus…which amazingly enough, still go on even without me. Today, I actually came across some surprising news that I was not aware of: College girls orgasm only HALF as much as college men. Sucks for us.

Now, I’m sure many things are running through your head right now as possible justifications for this statistic. I think we can all atest to the fact that most college hookups don’t exactly rock your world for a variety of reasons, (alcohol involved, inexperience, someone you don’t know extremely well, yada yada) so when you put it in perspective, it seems to make sense.

Apparently the survey was done by a professor at Stanford University. It questioned 4,000 students about their most recent hook-ups, which ranged from kissing to manual sex to oral sex to intercourse. The results showed that 44 percent of men had reached orgasm compared to 19 percent of women. More specifically, 70 percent of men climaxed during intercourse without oral sex beforehand, but only half the amount of females could do the same. Read More »