The ever reliable Page Six is reporting that MTV’s own rampant bi-sexual is not as fickle as the public is led to believe.

So, Tila Tequila isn’t bi? You mean, her entire existence is a total sham? There’s no way the most popular girl on MySpace would ever try to sell herself further for essentially doing nothing! No! It can’t be! Tila is a completely legitimate woman/pop singer/MySpace celebrity, right?

Sure she is! She’s as classy as a queen. Need proof? Check out the evidence: Read More »

Here’s one last thing to go along with the scary Halloween television and disturbing décor: Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong are totally hooking up.

Frightening, right?

According to the ever-scandalous Page Six, Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong were seen together at the Gramercy Park Hotel’s bar on Monday night “making out” while Ashley “sat on Lance’s lap”.

The pair, 21 and 36, have a 15-year age difference between them and about a billion Ex’s. Armstrong was recently linked to Sheryl Crow and designer Tory Burch, while Ashley seems to have dated pretty much any guy who thinks she’s cool.

The creepiest part about this pairing is the fact that Lance Armstrong always struck me as a super-responsible, super cool guy. Something about winning 7 Tour de Frances and beating cancer made him seem laid back and experienced, a dude who sought out cool, traveled friends and mature women. To see him making out with Ashley Olsen crushes everything I (we?) previously thought.

Plus…ew. Read More »

So your daughter’s geeked on gack and f@#%s hollywood stars serially. In times like these, it’s only natural for a mother to step in. That’s just what “Mother of the Year” Dina Lohan has done. Except instead of stepping in to get LiLo the help she most desperately needs, Dina has stepped into the spotlight, to help her own career.

Yes as disqusting as it may be, Page Six reports that Dina Lohan hit the red carpet at last night’s “Georgia Rule” premiere in NYC, as a “special correspondant” for Entertainment Tonight. ET says “We are looking forward to Dina asking the questions only a mother can.” WTF ET??? Are you so irresponsible that you would allow a mother to profit off her own daughter’s addictions for a mere ratings boost? You both deserve eachother, you miserable, ignorant sluts. Read More »

Yes, season 4 of the Simple Life will stoop to a new low: Putting Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie in the role of counselors at a fat camp. Just imagine how they will be shape the health ideals of youngsters.

Page Six reports, “The E! series isn’t calling it a “fat camp” - reps for the show say it’s a “wellness camp focused on eating right, yoga, nutrition and exercise.” If the producers of this show think that Paris and Nicole strutting around in tiny shorts are going to make the fat campers want to do anything but go vomit and use illegal substances to shed some weight, they are severely mistaken.

I have to admit that it’s a brilliant marketing ploy by the creators of the show because nothing could be more ironic than these two actually attempting to give advice on how to live a healthy lifestyle.