I could say a lot of things about this picture (one of them being why anyone over the age of 16 would wear a shirt with a lame catch phrase on it), but I think mostly, it speaks completely for itself.

[photo from www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com]

One of my esteemed colleagues wrote a great piece on texting etiquette. I recently wrote a biting piece about Papa Joe. This piece is about etiquette, too. After reading my Papa Joe piece (hopefully they read it in its entirety), a commentator, named ‘Haha,’ quipped, “you’re just a jealous peon,” to which I replied (in two posts) “nope, Haha, sure ain’t . . . I’m glad [the Simpsons are] rich. That’s great for them. But their father is a tool. Oh, one other thing . . . I LOVE the word peon. It’s great fun, conjures up great images . . . thanks!”

First, I do love the word peon. It’s nasty. It’s blunt. It’s cutting. People don’t use the word peon a lot, so I liked the reminder that the word peon exists. Reminds me of my old father (he’s a judge). He calls people peons and ninnies all the time – those words are funny, and I always chuckle when he coughs them up. BUT I digress (you’re probably getting used to that).

Now some of my fellow bloggers might wonder why I waste my time responding to remarks, whether good or bad, and why I’m even bothering to write this piece. Well, first off, I wish to thank Haha for inspiring me to do so. Because I’ve spent a lot of time (yes, it’s true) thinking about internet etiquette, how people are quick to insult (yes, I’m just as guilty, stirrin’ up crap, criticizing Mr. Simpson, etc.), name-calling, and even verbally terrorizing others on web posts. Read More »

As promised, I want to continue this series on why I find Jessica and Ashlee to be so insidious. As another esteemed blogger pointed out today, Papa Joe is up to something bad (again) with Ashlee and her overly eye-lined lover, Pete Wentz.

[On a side note: Pete, what, what, darling are you thinking? Didn’t you see what happened to Nick? I know you got a new deal with Nordstrom, and I guess that’s cool, but what’s making you so delusional? I mean, couldn’t you find another plasticized gal to replace Ashlee? I mean, it’s not Ashlee, it’s the fact that you’re marrying her dad, too! The guy is a creep, a class-A creep. Didn’t you watch the Newlyweds, or did the clan make you sign some contract, in which you agreed to NEVER pop it into your DVD machine?]

Let’s get back to the juicy stuff, and let Pete learn his own lesson. (I’ll be the first to express my sympathies to you, Mr. Wentz).

So, rumors abound in Hollyweird. Yes, there’s a whole lot of concern about Ashlee’s “bump.” (Hold on, I gotta go vomit. That overly used words makes me sick. Bump sightings here, there, everywhere – even guys have bumps these days!) There are so many friggin’ pregnancy rumors about Ashlee, you’d think the “rumor machine” would explode. If that’s the case, however, and Ashlee is pregnant, then let’s have a moment of silence. Why? Cuz’ Papa Joe is gonna appear at his vilest. Read More »

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are engaged. I’ve been forced to accept this as truth and move on with my life. And while I’m not particularly fond of either party’s “work,” they fascinate me as a couple. Months after posting this video mocking pregnancy rumors, there are now legit whispers flying around that the King and Queen of crappy, pre-pubescent pop-rock do in fact have a baby on board…right next to their 12-pack of Redbull and group pile of skinny jeans. But if this is true, I’ve got some questions.

First, what kind of reality show train wreck do you think Papa Joe is going to concoct for the next nine months? “Pimp My Placenta” hasn’t been taken by fetus-look-a-like Tila Tequila, right? Because Ashlee and Pete can totes write the theme song and not include any vowels or integrity like they always never do.

I also worry about Ashlee’s vajayjay. Normally I’d feel weird thinking about her fun parts, but this is a pressing human rights issue. Not only does a pregnancy imply that her nana has already been violated by his—gulp—”fallout boy,” but it also needs to prepare itself for the spikiest baby hair of all time to pass through. Seriously. Can you imagine pooping out a porcupine? Yeah, it wouldn’t feel too awesome, would it? Read More »