Wendy’s Burger for a quarter? NOT!

Paris buys a brothel…surprise surprise

Becks and Posh are leaving us…but they’re coming back! PROMISE!

Move over, Palin! Obama’s taking over Saturday night!

Zac + Johnny= hotttt pirates!

Janet’s not making ends meet?

Audrina in a dunk tank. ’nuff said.

Some candy for the men…Angelina’s boobies!

What is with the Hogan parents dating people that look like their children?!

Aunt Becky’s boobies are timeless…

Mistrial shmistrial - Brit Brit’s lookin gooood

Paris Hilton’s bedroom? The happiest place on earth?

We can’t say, but it is pretty clear that the architecht on this project was clearly overcompensating for something….

Hugh Jackman: the real Joe Six Pack?

Taylor Momson is not rexy, she’s just skinny!

Americans have terrible taste in movies.

Sarah Palin confirmed an SNL visit. Watch out, Tina.

McCain is gets a second chance on Letterman.

Cosmo’s hottest men on earth. (Editor’s Note: WHERE IS PIVEN?!)

5 things men buy to overcompensate make us think they are too cool for school.

Where in the world are the Jolie Pitts?

Gossip Girl heads to college.

Pumpkin Picking: the ultimate (celebrity) fall activity.

Paris Hilton lookin’ really good. (I know, I can’t believe it either!)

Mark Wahlberg hates SNL.

Tampons to go!

Shocker: Froot Loops is not good for you!

‘Paris Hilton’s My New BFF‘ premiered last night on MTV and I think I lost some serious brain cells after watching it. …Though I have to admit, it was mildly entertaining.

The things certain people will do to be friends with this hotel heiress are both pathetic and inherently watchable.

In the premiere episode, Paris gave her flying monkeys a head-to-toe makeover. Three of the contestants refused to do it and I was torn between yelling “Paris told you to do it, so DO IT!” and “You go girl! And Boy! Stick your guns!”

In the end, it was between I-refuse-to-change-my-hair Michelle and I-wanna-go-home Kiki. Paris ended up giving Michelle the dreaded TTYN (”talk to you never”) as  Kiki stormed off mumbling “Fake bitches”, leaving the rest of the girls looking rather confused.

Guess people will do anything for their 15 minutes.

Sigh.  It’s been a long day here in the CC office, so long that we’re really having a hard time keeping ourselves from bursting into tears after listening to Paris Hilton’s new song “My BFF” [listen to the whole thing HERE].

I mean, we’re really trying to keep it together.

Is this song a publicity stunt?  Will we be forced to hear it blaring from the earbuds of the person sitting next to us on the bus tomorrow?  Is the world really so effed up that ear poison like this is allowed to be manufactured?

Dear God…why?

In light of Heather Locklear’s recent arrest while driving under the influence of something (read: drugs), we started thinking about the obscene number of stars heading to court/jail lately. Their visits are so frequent, in fact, that it seems we see celebs more often donning orange jumpsuits than strutting the red carpet.

We thought it was only appropriate, then, to honor these fallen celebrities. For without them we would never know the repercussions of driving drunk, grabbing the breast of an underage girl, or buying and selling drugs from the back of a limo. These celebrities have taken the fall so we don’t have to. It’s as if they are channeling Jesus and sacrificing themselves for our sins.

Ok, maybe not. But their mugshot pictures are pretty badass.

There is really nothing better than seeing an ultra glamorous superstar looking like a hot mess at the police station. Especially when that superstar is strung out on some really strong sh*t. So, we took it upon ourselves to pull our Top 10 Celebrity Mugshots together for your amusement. Scroll through, enjoy, and practice your voting skills for this year’s election by choosing your favorite to win the 2008 CollegeCandy Mugshot of the Year award. (There is really no prize, award ceremony, or thank-you speech, but we still want to know which hot tranny mess is your favorite.)

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Read More »

This weekend I got drunk. Really drunk. For 13 hours straight. I said inappropriate things, I ate things I would never eat on a normal day (sausage, donuts, mayo…not together), and I threw up in my mouth a little and swallowed it.

But I did not get anywhere near a car and never would have even considered driving anywhere in that state of mind.

So why did yet another celebrity get arrested for driving under the influence? Heather Locklear, who was in a rehab center earlier this year for “anxiety,” was pulled over yesterday in L.A. for driving erratically on the highway. No information has been released as to what was in her system, but come on! When you are doing drugs or drinking, be smart and have someone else drive your car!

You think these people would have learned by now after Nicole, Paris, Lindsay, little Hogan, etc., but no.

This taught me an important lesson, though: never go to L.A. Not only do you have the very real potential of running into Spencer and Heidi, but you also have a very real potential of ending up on the road with one of these dumb and dangerous celebs.

First Britney Spears created a perfume. Then Jessica Simpson started designing clothes. Then Lindsay Lohan threatened to bring us leggings with built-in knee pads….

And now Kid Rock will be brewing beer?!

WTF is up with celebrities trying to do it all? Just because you are good at rocking the stage (or mediocre at best, if you are Jessica Simpson) doesn’t mean that you know how to design bedding. Or a nice smelling perfume.

And just because you happen to drink a lot of beer doesn’t mean that you should start brewing it. I drink a lot of beer; do you see me coming out with a Wolverine Brew? No! Because while I know how to consume beer quickly (beer pong), I don’t know the first thing about brewing mother f–king beer.

What’s next? Paris Hilton uses a ton of condoms (I imagine); is she gonna launch a line of Paris Couture Condoms? Is Britney Spears going to release her very own Spears-Anti-Psyhoctic meds? Will Snoop Dog create his own Super Snoop Weed?

Kid, I think you are pretty good on stage, but I don’t think you really have it in you to create a beer. I mean, you are Kid Rock for God’s sake; your lifestyle is more aligned with trailers and chewing tobacco than with a nice, smooth brew. We already have Keystone, Schlitz and PBR; do we really need another low quality keg?

Would you drink Kid Rock Beer?

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