Welcome Week is coming to an end for most of you. You have spent the past 5 days unpacking boxes (while drinking), buying books (while hungover) and stopping by every bar/house party/gutter that just so happens to have a keg in it.

And you have the pictures to prove it.

While the themes of the parties may have been different (Tiki Tuesday? Beach party? Ghetto Fabulous?), the music was not. I don’t know what it is, but it seems like there is one playlist that somehow makes its
way into every bar or house on campus. And then plays on repeat. All night.

You love it while you’re double fisting Coronoa’s, but, for the love of God, if you hear that damn song one. more. time…

Our writers know how that goes. We asked them which songs they never ever (as long as they live) want to hear at a party again. Watch your back, Flo-rida – I think your time is over.

Alex – Lakehead University: I never ever EVER want to hear Hotel California by the Eagles at the bar again. I know it seems like a strange one, but come to Thunder Bay and you’ll suffer through it at least once a night.

Kari – Florida State: “Boots with the furrrr.” Not only does this song make my ears bleed, it feels the need to accost my eyeballs as well. For some reason every girl with a FUPA feels that this is “her song” and runs to the middle of the dance floor. No thank you.

Carly - Grinnell: “Follow Me” by Uncle Kracker. It is not good now, and it was never good. It should be eradicated. Read More »

Not everyone in college likes to drink. In fact, for the majority of our freshman year, one of my roommates refused to go to parties because she doesn’t like the taste of alcohol. Unfortunately, she didn’t immediately tell me this. For the first couple weeks of school, she would find excuses not to come out. For example, come Friday or Saturday night, she had a paper to write or a TV show that she just had to watch.

After about two months of coming back to find that she hadn’t even started the paper or that she hadn’t even watched the show, I realized that there was another reason. When I asked her about it, she admitted that she simply couldn’t bring herself to drink, and she did not want to be the odd one out at parties.

About three weeks before school ended, my friend finally decided that she was going to come to a party with the rest of us roomies. And you know what, she had more fun than we did! Plus, she actually remembered the details of our enjoyable outing (she could recount in detail how we made complete fools of ourselves the following morning).

As a matter of fact, my roommate had such a good time that she came along to every party that we attended for the rest of the year, wishing that she hadn’t wasted so many nights back at the dorm doing nothing.

Now, I’m not saying that parties are the only way to have a good time on the weekends. However, if you do want to go out to parties with your friends but fear that you will be considered a social pariah if you don’t drink, here is some helpful advice: Read More »

There’s a party tonight that you’ve been dying to go to, but your energy level is way low. You can’t even get up to find pants.

Maybe because you haven’t stopping partying for the past 3 days? It’s OK - it’s Welcome Week.

But it’s not OK, because even that Red Bull you chugged isn’t working. And you really wanna go out.

The solution? Music, duh.

Invite a few of your girl friends over to help ramp up your partying spirit: throw back a few cocktails, put on your party face, and listen to this awesome mix. If this doesn’t get you goin‘, get back into bed. You are dunzo for the week. Read More »

God, it feels good to be single again. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years, and I know that this move solidified my future as an old maid. I know I’ll never find a guy more perfect for me than my ex, and that I’ll probably die alone. But, damn, it feels good to be single.

When you’re single, it can be hard to sit back and watch your attached girlfriends in their romantic endeavors. They get flowers from their boyfriends; they always have a date to a party; they have someone to cuddle with in the morning. But they also don’t have the opportunities that you have as an independent woman.

My (ex)boyfriend and I had been doing the long-distance thing for a while. I am currently trying to find my career path, but I had to keep trying to get a job close to him. This eliminated a plethora of job opportunities for me. When you get ready to graduate college, you can move anywhere you want or take any job that’s offered to you.

The girls who are involved have to make their life decisions with their partner. True, they can opt for the long-distance thing, but that still makes moving much harder than it does for you, the single gal with no emotional baggage.

Since reemerging onto the singles scene, I’ve also been feeling less stressed. Personally, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately, and I felt like even the daily “goodnight” phone call was cutting into what little time I have to spend on everything else. It takes effort to make a relationship work. True, it’s great to have a boyfriend to vent to or to seek reassurance from, but when you are trying to balance jobs, school, extracurriculars, and other responsibilities, sometimes it’s nice to be able to focus on you without feeling selfish. Read More »

Party poopers have been around since the invention of cake. Even at your seventh birthday party I can bet you had a few of em’. They were the kids that stuck their hands in your cake and popped your balloons. They were the children that took all the piñata candy and whined that you got presents and they didn’t.

These kids have since grown up, but have still not grown out of their party pooping ways. Here are a few classic examples of people to keep off the guest list at your next soiree.

- The Drunk Dialer: Everyone makes drunk dials. They are often regrettable, foolish mistakes that we wish we could take back; but for some people, one or two are not enough. Some people seriously spend an entire party going through their phone book; calling exes, third cousins and coworkers. Not only are they loud and obnoxious on the phone, but they also seem to think everyone shares their enthusiasm for calling their kindergarten best friend and will shout, “OMG guys! You should totally talk to Ed too!” Parties are not the time for forty drunk dials, save it for the walk home.

- The Rule Snubber: Sure, some rules are meant to be broken, but who likes to play games with people that selfishly snub all of them? Ever played quarters with someone that grabs everyone else’s coins when they are losing? How about someone who keeps drawing cards in Kings until they get one they like? Nobody likes someone that cheats in beruit or flip-cup. Cheaters are only funny for about a minute- Play the game right or don’t play at all! Read More »

So here’s the sitch: John “I’m not dead yet” McCain likened Barack “Too Sexy for this presidency” Obama to Paris Hilton in one of his feeble attempts to get attention, or you know, “campaign,” which is pretty funny considering that McCain is married to a character who is very similar to Hilton. You know, blonde, looks like a leather handbag, is an heiress to a shit-ton of money but doesn’t really contribute other than being “umm, kinda good looking?”

I digress.

Anyway, the democrats got all pissy and whiney about the ad and made some comments that didn’t do anything to help the situation, but I’m sure they’re still whining about it, not being productive, you know, the usual. I didn’t really see the problem with the ad, mainly because I was psyched about Paris Hilton being president.

I’m not really wild about either candidate, so I’m going to have to say we all write-in Paris Hilton for president for 2008. Mostly, because who couldn’t do a better job than what’s his name? Also, because she would hopefully implement some great policies that would bring this country out of it’s depressing state.

She’s a perfect representative for America. She has tons of super sweet connections with people, even if the majority of her network is people she’s given blow jobs to. She’s concerned with appearances and does not approve of anything “not hot,” like terrorism, hate crimes, animal cruelty and flannel. She doesn’t seem to care about either the Democrat or Republican party, but she does party, thus making her the perfect middle ground this country needs. Read More »

I frantically searched for my phone in my mess of blankets. Must make it stop ringing before head explodes. “Hello,” I croaked when I found it, barely able to get the words out of my parched mouth.

“We are ridiculous,” Sara groaned from the other end, sounding equally as down for the count as me.

“This needs to stop,” I agreed, as I knocked over the glass of water on my nightstand. The glass of water I had meant to down before I passed out with my clothes still on (somehow I took my contact lenses out, go me!).

Yet again Sara and I had gone out agreeing we wouldn’t drink a lot, and yet again some kind stranger had bought us round after round of shots. And we accepted (because I’m pretty sure there’s a law that says you can’t turn down free alcohol). And yet again we were paying for it; and regretting it.

So, we decided we’d go two full weeks without drinking. Two weeks proving we could have fun without going out and going crazy. Two weeks without waking up with pounding headaches and feeling like we need to stay in bed the entire day. Two weeks without having to call each other first thing in the morning to find out exactly what happened the night before and wondering just how big of fools we had made of ourselves. We are getting too old for this ridiculousness. We wanted to see if we could go two weeks without drinking at all. Read More »

Seriously, who gives out their number anymore?

I remember having a drunken bonding moment with a really cool guy in college a few years ago, and he asked for my number. I asked for his screen name instead. I mean, IM-ing someone is so much more casual, and so much less stressful. You don’t have to feel your heart thumping through your chest as the phone rings. Is he going to answer? Is it going to go to voicemail? Is he blocking me? What do I say if he picks up?

With IM, you can see if he’s away or idle, and choose your own adventure from there. You can leave a casual “Just wanted to say I had a great time last night” IM, rather than starting a phone call with the same line and then struggling to make small talk. Likewise, you can make small talk behind the shield of the IM window, where he can’t hear your voice crack, and where you can copy and paste the whole convo to all of your girlfriends and get advice while you try to weed out his intentions.

And then came Facebook. The social network has made quite the mark on the dating scene. There’s the poke, which can be viewed as casual, flirty, or creepy. There’s the “it’s complicated” label for the relationship you’re in (finally- you can be open about having a f*ck buddy without warding off the rest of the male population!); and of course, there’s the wall post, which makes the casual IM seem like the awkward phone call of yesteryear. Read More »