Hey, remember Trapped in the Closet? You know, R. Kelly’s AMAZING twenty-three part R&B soap opera chronicling the twists and turns in the life of protagonist Sylvester (R. Kelly) and about ten million secondary characters who are all tangled in the same sexy web of lies and interconnected boot-knockin’? Well R. Kelly’s Trial Debating Whether Or Not I Am In Fact A Huge Creep That Pisses On Underage Girls On Video is like Trapped in the Closet, but so so so much more kick ass.

To give you a little background, it all started in 2002 when music critic Jim DeRogatis was given a video by a currently unnamed source featuring what appeared to be R. Kelly giving an allegedly underage girl money, then getting a BJ from her, having sex with her, and pissing on her. DeRogatis broke the story in the Chicago Sun-Times, and shortly thereafter R. Kelly was charged with soliciting a minor for child pornography, seven counts of videotaping the acts, and seven counts of producing child pornography. Now, six years after the initial indictment, the trial has begun and it’s like the sexy remix of the O.J. Simpson trial. Read More »

• CNN is getting into sex advice…for some reason. Today? Kissing techniques! Kind of like getting sex tips from my mom…

• England is telling Nigella Lawson she’s fat. And she’s believing them!

• Now the guys in our lives can be comfortable while peeing…as if they don’t enjoy using the bathroom enough…

• The 10-year-old version of me just lost it over this game! We all need it!

• In: Having a cell phone to check in with family. Out: Payphones; Superman

• Not to scare all of you…but sushi can be high in calories so just make sure you aren’t ordering the double battered tempura roll dipped in more fried tempura and you’ll be ok.

• Cutest Story of the Day: Photojournalist saves a puppy from a hole! Awwww.

Nothing like waking up in the morning and helping myself to some fresh servings of blog — these days, early a.m. updates rev me up more than an XXXL coffee.

Today was extra - special as Jezebel featured a post on the P - Mate, a device that allows women to pee standing up. Sometimes, the power of modern technology and ingenious thought eludes me.A simple waxed paper tube, the P - Mate enables women to “discreetly enjoy hygienic freedom.” Simply roll, insert, and let loose! Anywhere! In your backyard, at the beach, in the woods, the sky’s the limit (literally)! If you want a challenge, try your hand at a urinal. You’ll never have to sit down again (because who likes sitting?). Urinary freedom doesn’t come at too steep of a price: a pack of five P - Mates is only $5.25! The price of gender equality, beyond bathroom walls.