Yo, what has happened to Eminem?

While it’s taking all of my strength to keep away from a joke about the guy eating too many of his chocolate namesake, I gotta say, boy has gotten chubby.

Eminem, aka Marshal Mathers, has been under the radar for a while…ever since he got divorced from his wife and then married her again and then got divorced a second time. Apparently, women aren’t the only ones who use food to get them through tough situations, because the rapper was recently released from the hospital after a bout of pneumonia brought on by heart problems—heart problems that may or may not have something to do with the fact that the guy is now reportedly around 200 pounds. Read More »

In case you live under a rock, Britney Spears has officially gone crazier than any of us thought possible.

After freaking her sh*t last Thursday night when it came time to return her two sons to their less insane parent, Spears participated in a three-hour standoff before being rushed to a hospital on a stretcher and checking herself out less than 48 hours later (apparently too early for people admitted with psychological issues). While nobody’s saying exactly why Spears was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, it’s been reported that at the time of her hospitalization, she was “under the influence of an unknown substance”.

As if the circus wasn’t big enough, TV’s favorite media-whore “therapist” Dr. Phil got himself involved in Brit’s debacle, visiting her as she was checking out of the hospital and subsequently telling every news outlet that he was “very concerned” for her.

“My meeting with Britney and some family members this morning in her room at Cedars leaves me convinced more than ever that she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention.” The TV doc is quoted as saying. “She was released moments before my arrival and was packing when I entered the room. We visited for about an hour before I walked with her to her car. I am very concerned for her.” Read More »

When lawyers are afraid of you, you know there’s a problem.

As of Wednesday, Britney Spears’s custody battle just got a little more unbelievable. Her lawyers, the law firm Trope and Trope, asked to be “relieved” as her attorneys, explaining that communicating with the spiraling celebrity is “impossible.”

I mean, what is the girl doing?

How far gone do you have to be to ignore high-powered lawyers who’s only job is to help you? It’s like she’s totally forgotten about the two kids she squeezed out of her vajayjay only a few years ago, and instead believes her days should be spent driving around aimlessly and sleeping with nasty, nasty paparazzi (who are most likely getting ready to sell their story to the first magazine that jumps).

Even though there’s an election coming up, there’s global warming to think about, and things overseas aren’t looking that good, I think America needs to band together to get B. Spears off the streets and into rehab. This is something we can all connect to; all ages and races and economic standing, no matter who you are, you know this chick ain’t right in the head. Read More »

Perez.

He’s done a lot for us over the years. Taking down annoying starlets one vajayjay flash at a time, dragging certain stars out of the closet, giving us up-to-the-minute Lindsay Lohan rehab news, and forcing a bit of humor out of that self-important land called Hollywood.

After learning about his site a year ago, I find myself checking it almost daily, needing my fix of A, B, and C-list celebrities like a smoker needs that after dinner cig.

I can’t help it, Perez and his mysterious “sources” have me hooked.

Starting out from a nobody and becoming a giant somebody isn’t easy, and Perez (a.k.a Mario Armando Lavandeira) has certainly climbed his way from unknown to a celebrity in his own right. That being said, I can’t help but notice the irony of a guy who makes a living bashing the overexposed saturating the media himself.

He’s everywhere now. In magazines, in major newspapers, all over the talk-show circuit, even featured in a hideous-looking new show on MTV called Celebrity Rap Superstars. The man who used to be just like us—a regular person gawking at the famous people—is now more like the celebrities he draws penises on.

Far be it from me to begrudge anyone newfound fame, but you have to wonder what Perez would say about himself on his website. Read More »

So. It’s really true. Pete Wentz is modeling. For real.

PerezHilton has just put up some pretty interesting photos of the Fall Out Boy rocker, a guy who’s gone from a proudly self-described “outcast” to a completely mainstream model who dates Ashlee Simpson.

Which is fine, I guess. If you like big paychecks and corporate sponsors.

Wentz, who’s certainly skinny enough to fit his entire body inside one leghole of my jeans, doesn’t exactly have what I’d call “a model face”.

He’s not fugly, but his Emo/Hipster vibe is so overpowering, it’s hard to look at him for long (unless, of course, you’re a blond girl who, once upon a time, lip synced on national television).

But then again, I could be wrong.

Maybe Wentz really will make a career out of flouncing his tattoos and bee-stung lips. He certainly has a lot of little fans—and everyone knows how persuasive those kids can be.

Pete Wentz: Hot or Not?

Oh Anderson Cooper.

Your salt and pepper hair, perfectly dressed swimmer’s physique, amazing shoes…and, oh yes, your skills as a CNN reporter. Your delicate beauty not only tantalizers bored homemakers while they make dinner, but gay men all over the planet.

Why you won’t admit to being one of those beautiful men who like men, I’ll never know. Maybe you’re afraid CNN won’t like it, maybe you’re afraid you’ll lose your female viewers, maybe your agent made you sign a contract in your blood that states I will never admit to being gay as long as I’m a TV icon. So help me god. Read More »

Poor, poor Avril. Looks like you better stop giving the finger to the paparazzi and start coming up with more distinct bass lines.

According to Perezhilton, another song on Avril’s new CD The Best Damn Thing is sounding mighty familiar. The first 20 seconds of Lavigne’s song I Don’t Have To Try sounds almost identical to I’m The Kinda by Canadian rocker Peaches.

Recently, the Rubinoos’s (the first band to call Avril a thief) claim over Avril’s Girlfriend was refuted by the pop/punk (but mostly pop) princess’s manager, when he pulled a quote off their myspace page that claims they were also ripped off by “the Rasberries, the Beach Boys, the Beatles.”

Listen to both songs after the jump and let us know if you think Lavigne is simply being bullied or should consider changing her name to Vanilla Avril. Read More »

Brittany Spears is weird.

I think we all know that now. Either she was stupid and misguided from the beginning and her agents / managers / parents / assistants / bodyguards kept her from really showing it, or something has recently gone very, very wrong in that hat-covered head of hers.

Case in point:

A few days ago, a message popped up on Spears’ website apologizing for attacking paparazzi in early February. If you saw the footage (which kind of reminds me of some scenes in 28 Days), a then-bald Spears jumped out of her car after being chased by photographers and went after them with a giant umbrella.

The situation itself was strange enough, but now this mother of two has gone and made is super strange. Read More »