Last summer I was back home in LA visiting my parents when the Third Pirates of the Caribbean movie was released. I was waiting for them to join me at the Santa Monica Promenade (known for its’ wackos) when I noticed a crowd gathering around a man waiving a poster. Oh yes—he was protesting the Pirates movie. His poster, which reminded me of my 10th grade English projects (glue stick, grainy photos, and hastily written captions), was a tearful outcry against the rehabilitation of the pirate as a historical figure.

The guy was definitely nuts, but as much as I hate to say it, he did have a point.

What did you think when you saw the title of this piece? Captain Jack Sparrow? Hook? Tim Curry’s Long John Silver?

Don’t get me wrong, I love pirate movies and the whole pirate genre (so much so that I had my second tattoo done at a pirate themed parlor but that’s besides the point…). But unfortunately outside of Disneyland, the whole Yo Ho Yo Ho A Pirates Life for Me isn’t what piracy is all about.

Meet the Pirates of Somalia:

Instead of the Black Pearl, these pirates are cruising the seas in small fishing boats (known as ‘Volvos’ actually)…Gone are the cannons and cutlasses, replaced with deadlier automatic rifles and rocket propelled grenades…

On Friday, April 4th, 10 such pirates attacked the Le Ponant, a French luxury yacht in the Gulf of Aden. While no passengers were on board, 30 crewmembers are being held hostage.

This is an all too regular an occurrence in Somalia Read More »

• Authorities in Park Slope say that a little girl who draws on the sidewalk is to be fined for graffiti. Well, good! I needed just one more reason to think that Brooklyn is totally, totally lame. (Brooklyn Press)

• Pirates vs Zombies! Apparently, they couldn’t wait two more weeks. (Pioneer Press)

• Best/worst quote of the week: “[She was] Just holding the baby out of the window and I was like ‘Oh no … no … no.’” (Baynews9.com)

• Kinda like the story above, except reverse! I can’t help but think the little guy is adorable (and a better driver than me!). (Yahoo!)

• Parents who sign their kids up for pole dancing lessons are f*cking idiots…but, like, if you’re 9 years old and dancing on a pole while your other friends are playing T-Ball…wouldn’t you kinda know something isn’t quite right? (COED Magazine)