Eating whilst drunk is, in general, about as smart as sexing up strangers whilst drunk or calling ex-boyfriends whilst drunk, which is to say not very smart at all.

All the same, when I’ve consumed large amounts of alcohol, I’m going to go across the street and get chicken tenders from Whataburger. It’s just something that is inevitably going to happen, like Christmas every year, like my period every month (knock on wood), like my g*ddamn alarm clock going off every morning.

Because there is no single more satisfying aspect of the drinking experience than eating a lukewarm chicken tender at 2:30 in the morning. The nuanced interplay between the textures of chicken and breading somehow melds perfectly with the taste of Guinness that still lingers in my mouth.

That isn’t to say, of course, that other cravings don’t arise in my drunken state. Here are some other drunk food favs:

Potato Chips - Usually Sour Cream and Onion, which causes a serious breath issue in the morning (Onion + Alcohol=another reason to vomit). At the time, though, (like so many other things) it really seems like a great idea. Potato chips are usually pretty filling, you usually already have some at your house so you don’t have to drive around to find an open store to buy them (unless you live in a legitimate city and can simply walk outside for food) and they are fairly portable. By this I mean, you can’t very well bring your Chalupa into bed with you as you pass out. Or at least you really shouldn’t. I’ve passed out with my hand in a bag of chips before. Some would call that a cry for help, I would have called it being prepared. Read More »

I Love pizza. With a capital “L”.

There is nothing better than a crispy crust smothered in hot, gooey cheese. Add some grilled onions and mushrooms and I am dunzo.

The only thing better than a slice of pizza, actually, is an entire pie a slice of pizza after a night of drinking.

Yes, like unattractive guys and all songs written and produced in the 80’s, my love for pizza grows immensely when alcohol is involved.

It is like I am one of Pavlov’s dogs; the minute I taste beer, I start drooling for a slice of pie.

My cravings only grow more severe as the night progresses. With every downed shot I imagine my date with my precious pizza pie. So, when the opportunity finally presents itself, I go to town without any thought given to potential collateral damage.

Like my tongue, for instance.
Or the roof of my mouth.

What? Like you could wait the 20 minutes it takes to get home, the 10 minutes it takes to decide what delectable toppings/debate the need for a side of cheesy breadsticks, and the 35 minutes to actually get the pizza and NOT dive right in the minute it arrives? Read More »

My dad makes the best homemade pizza on Earth. He is not really an everyday-supper kind of guy as far as his cooking goes, but a few of the things he can whip up are absolutely out of this world. When you taste this pizza, there is simply no comparison to any pizza you have ever had in a restaurant, ever. It’s just impossible to look back.

I have never quite been able to match the final product, but I do have the recipe, and I am more than willing to share it with you. I believe it’s one of those recipes that gives good results every time but takes a lifetime to perfect… so check back with me in 30 years or so to see how I’m doing.

In the meantime, get the following things together:

FOR THE DOUGH
• 1 package (about 1 ½ teaspoons) rapid-rise yeast
• 1 cup warm water (but not so hot that it hurts your fingers)
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 ½ cups flour
• 1 ½ tsp dry basil
• 1 ½ tsp dry oregano Read More »

Here at CC, our opinions on love, sex and relationships cover pretty much the whole spectrum of ideals (and according to the fantastic discussions amongst commentors, so do yours, lovely readers). However I think we can all agree that long distance relationships are difficult.

Whether you are a serial LDD-er (long distance dater, obvs) or this is your first case of separation anxiety, remember that a summer break is not a relationship death sentence, but more of a Paris-esque mini lockdown with time off for good behavior!

The most important aspect of a long distance relationship (as in any other healthy one) is communication. Beyond the obvious (calling, texting, IMing), it’s important to create an open channel of expression that allows you both to clearly explain your thoughts, feelings and, most importantly, expectations throughout this relationship vacation (not the Speidi version).

Before you two lovebirds separate, talk about the impending geographical issue. Discuss how you’re feeling about it (nervous? anxious? scared?) and why. Bring up your thoughts on the social scene and parties. I’m not a believer in strict rules governing your right to party (thank you, Beastie Boys) but your definition of a good time might be quite different from his (Is it ok to flirt shamelessly but innocently for free drinks? Are you cool with a night at the strip club with his boys?). By talking about problems like wandering eyes or drifting apart before they happen, you can easily avoid them. And by establishing a sitch where you can freely talk about stuff like that will help you stay secure in your union. Read More »

Dear Friends/Family/That Random Taxi Driver That Picked Me Up and Took Me Home After Finding Me Face First On The Sidewalk,

Sometimes I like to drink. A lot. And on those occasions I may or may not (okay, always) do stupid things. It is not me, you see; it is the alcohol. In fact, it is not until the morning after when I am chugging Gatorade and trying to get my bed to stop spinning that I even realize exactly what went down. And I feel bad – really, I do. So, I want to take this opportunity to apologize for it all.

To The Bartender: I am sorry that I hopped over the bar and drank beer directly from the tap. And attempted to spray my friends with Tonic Water. And knocked over that giant stack of glasses….

To My Best Friend: I am sorry that I bit your hand when you tried to take my falafel away from me. Yes, I know I said we would share. I am also sorry that I stole your shoe…and drank a beer out of it. And that I peed in your garbage can. Oh, wait. That was your sock drawer? My bad.

To My Friends: I am sorry that I called your girlfriend “Gorilla”…to her face (but I am more sorry that you are dating such a mess). Sorry that I brought that random dude back to the apartment and accidentally took him to your room. I will wash your sheets…and rug. Oh, and your teddy bear. Read More »

When it comes to dieting, so many people do it, but so many people don’t understand the process. They know they need to cut calories, but how does one cut calories when they don’t even know how many they were eating to begin with? And how do people even remember all the things they ate in an entire day? And what about the rest of us not trying to shave off a few pounds? Shouldn’t we be conscious of what is going into our bodies, too?

These are the biggest arguments for getting in the habit of keeping a food journal.

Food logs can help you stay on track in many different ways:

Drinking:
In one evening at the bar you could consume more than 800 extra calories; that’s like running on a treadmill for two hours! If you think about what you’re drinking and add it to your log at the end of the night you will notice how much you’ve actually taken in, which may prompt you to make better choices in the future…or avoid ordering that cheese bread…. (Note: no need to pull out the food diary at the bar, friends. Total buzz kill!)

“Good” foods versus “Bad” foods:
You would be surprised as to how many calories are in foods though of as “good” versus other that are constituted as “bad”. For example, did you know that a Dunkin Donuts muffin has more calories than their regular donut? I bet you didn’t. It’s surprising! Just think what else you may misinterpret as “healthy” or “better” for you. It’s easy to get tricked into thinking something is “good” for you when really it isn’t. So, researching and writing down what you eat will get you thinking about food instead of just throwing it down the hatch. Read More »

So it’s Sunday. Unlike productive members of society who are enjoying a break from professionalism or whatever, I woke up three hours ago with a raging hangover. I reserve the right to complain about this because a) I am a college student, thus weekends are sacred and b) after I graduate all the fun is gone and nonstop partying simply isn’t in the cards for those who hold a steady job…which I hopefully will achieve.

Anyways, this occurrence is not inevitable, but pretty regular for me, and from what I’m told, countless other Weekend Warriors. So to make my (and your) Sunday morning/afternoon nausea slightly more tolerable, I present my Top 5 fave Hangover Foods.

5. McDonald’s Diet Coke + an Egg McMuffin.
This makes the list for both its deliciousness and medicinal values. McDonald’s Coke and Diet Coke WILL cure your hangover. My best friend swears by it. So does her Mom. That stuff is great. Unfortunately this meal is 1) highly inconvenient, as there’s very little chance that you will be up early enough to get an egg McMuffin and 2) usually eaten under the circumstances that your hangover is very very severe and you can only manage small bites and sips. Read More »

You know all those times when you’re like “Damn, I would love to get some burgers for the whole family, but I don’t want to order them individually,” so, you order a pizza instead? Yeah, me neither. But apparently, Burger King thinks we’re all having a whole lot of these moments as they’re going to start offering a six-pack of burgers in an attempt to compete with the pizza market.

How does a six-pack of burgers differ from six individual burgers? Glad you asked.

The rolls of the six burgers will be stuck together, so to grab a burger, you’ll have to tear one off. Just like when you grab a piece of pizza. And just like you can order a pizza half cheese/half pepperoni (or whatever your tastes enjoy), one pair of these burgers will be topped with ketchup, another with cheese, and another with bacon and cheese.

Unfortunately, these burgers are only launching in the UK, Germany, and Spain. Let’s hope and pray that they do well over there so that they come here soon. Until then, I guess we’re just going to be stuck ordering pizza when we’re craving a shared meal. Or drinking a six-pack of beer. That could work too.