Remember last time? Yeah, I try to forget about it, too.

Flav starts the day by telling the girls that he wants them to star in a FOL 3 calendar. Oh, no.

Buckwild and Saaphyri enter - Flav brought them in because they are entrepreneurs. Buckwild, who, in her words, “dresses like a slot machine” has a clothing line coming out, Saaphyri is coming out with lip chap.

The girls will assist with the calendar and help him figure out who should go home. What that has to do with dressing like a ‘slot’ (heh) or making lip chap is beyond me.

The best picture gets the date. Flav wants to have a sexy calendar that’ll put Playboy out of business. Is Shy giving them posing pointers? Because she watches Tyra?

Seezinz calls a meeting so that everyone can get a solo shot. Hotlanta wants the August bikini shot. Prancer’s going to be the Easter bunny? And she’s doing July? NO, you can’t do every single month.

No one thinks that Shy is hot – neither do I. That would be because Shy reminds me of Eddie Murphy.

[For the record: there are no words to describe the monstrosity of the posing] Read More »

“The Girls Next Door star Holly Madison and Playboy founder Hugh Hefner still have babies on the brain. ‘There has been lots of trying — lots of trying!’ she told Usmagazine.com at Playboy’s Ninth Annual Super Saturday Night bash in Arizona.”

But no really, for the sake of everyone’s imagination, please stop trying.

Does Holly keep bowls of Viagra throughout the Playboy Mansion trying to convince Hef that they’re M & Ms? Doesn’t Hef fall asleep after three thrusts? He’s 82. I’m sure he’s young at heart, but come on. I’d imagine that any sperm that he’s got left is bent or way too exhausted to swim very far.

And as for the title of that US mag article, I highly doubt that Hef has babies on the brain. His to-do list consists of robe wearing, a nap, eating, another nap and trying to find his way through his mansion. Trust me, being one of the oldest fathers on the planet is not on there. Read More »

This can’t be any worse than legitimate dates I’ve been on.

Golf cart or electric car? It doesn’t matter! It’s adorable!

Video: Only Paris Hilton’s best friend would be the kinda girl to release a sex tape, get butt implants, then pose naked…just like her mother.

On Tom Cruise: “He taps into the zeitgeist,” says Cruise’s business partner, Paula Wagner. He also taps into crazy. And delusional.

Five minute nose job? I need it now!

Missed L.A. Ink this season? Let us catch you up!

Hey, everyone! New buzzword for 2008! FLILF! Yeah…it’s kinda gross to me too.

Chocolate gold or chocolate gold? It’s up to you!

Arkansas man nearly throws away a million little girl’s dreams. Or a 4.3 carat diamond. Whatever.

Is oral sex really ’sex’? Let us know what you think!

Well folks, it’s time for yet another reality dating show. This time around, however there is a clever little twist. Tila Tequila, of Myspace and self-promoted fame, is the star of MTV’s new show “A Shot at love with Tila Tequila.”

The formula is essentially the same: Six weeks, find love, contestants get eliminated, one will remain at the end, and there will be a reunion special where we discover the winner really isn’t interested. Sound familiar? The big twist in Ms. Tequila’s show is her opportunity to come out as a bisexual and have 16 lesbians square off against 16 straight dudes for her affection. This should be fun.

Tila Tequila, nee Tila Nguyen, shot to fame by becoming the most popular person on Myspace as of April 2006. She has modeled for Playboy, Stuff and Maxim. She also was the number one unsigned artist on Myspace. Through shameless self-promotion and half-naked pictures, Tila has really become internet superstar. Now with her own show, she is sure to become a reality television superstar. I have no doubt the clothing line will follow soon. Oops, there already is a clothing line. Read More »

I’m trying really hard not to judge. But when it comes to Marilyn Manson, it’s damn hard for me to stay silent.

Add in a confused little girl who claims his snoring “lulls her to sleep”, and you’ve just made it impossible for me not to say anything.

In September’s issue of GQ, 19-year-old Evan Rachel Wood lets it all hang out when it comes to her relationship with the Goth rocker, defending her feelings and that weird music video where they’re making out (for way, way too long) in a rainstorm of blood.

“At the end of the video, we’re kissing and it’s raining blood – and for me, that was one of the most romantic moments of my entire life” Wood explains, going on to say “for the first time, I really feel like I’m around somebody and in an environment where I can just let go and not worry about being judged”.

While I have no idea what an actress and a vampire look-alike talk about over dinner, the thing that really freaks me out is the 19-year age difference. 19 years.

The girl is dating someone who was her age when she was born. And sure, Hugh Hefner is doing the same thing (times 3), but at least that man looks like a man! Marilyn Manson resembles some sort of feminine alien. Read More »

I’m not a porn person.

I know, I know. Shock. Surprise. Gasp.

It’s just never done much for me. I don’t dislike porn, I just don’t understand what the craze is about.

Now, look, every once in a while one comes across an image or something late night on HBO that she doesn’t mind staring at and using later, but actively seeking pictures or movies has never been something I’ve put my time into. Not because I’m not a sexual person, not because I’m embarrassed, and not because I think it’s “wrong” for girls to enjoy pornography.

I just don’t like it.

For one thing, the guy is never attractive. If he’s not hairy, he’s fat. If he’s not fat, his face looks like it got run over by a truck. A big dick doesn’t make you hot. It just means you’ve got a big appendage attached to and ugly face. There’s nothing less fantasy-worthy than a good-looking girl getting rammed by a gross dude—at least for a woman. It just reminds me of all the mistakes I’ve made.

Secondly, I find hard-core pornography disgusting. There’s nothing gross about the sexual act, but there is something unappealing about a 10-minute close up of a blow-job. I already know what that looks like, thanks. Read More »

I do lots of things with my mom. We shop together (she’s never been one to shy away from telling me what makes me look fat), we go to movies (and usually leave pissed because one won’t stop talking through the entire thing which angers the other), we even recommend books to each other. But one thing we’ll never do together? Make porn.

Suze and Holly Randall have been taking dirty pictures, and making dirty movies, together for years, and see no reason to be ashamed or weirded out by what they do.

“When I first started doing it, I’d be sitting there watching people having sex, and I’d think, ‘Yeah, that looks good.’ Then I’d look over, see my mother, and think, ‘This is really weird if you think about it,’ “ Holly told a reporter from the Village Voice last April, “But then again, normalcy is relative, and for us it works.” Read More »