I am as obsessed with celebrity news as the next person; I am constantly perusing PerezHilton.com, TMZ.com, and all the other gossip pages, to read up on celeb news. I’m the first one to answer all the Pop Culture questions right at Trivia Night, and I thrive on reading the most intimate details of fights, breakups and love triangles of those we adorn from afar.

But even I, as much of a celeb-session that I have, do not think it’s appropriate to showcase your one month old child on the cover of US Weekly, People, In Touch, OK! or others, bartering with various publications for who will pay the most for the first pics of the new bebe.

In an article by Forbes Magazine, the topic of celebrity baby pictures – and the outlandish prices – was addressed. According to reports, JLo and Marc Anthony were paid $6 million from People Magazine for the first shots of the twins. $6 million?! For baby photos?! That’s more than I’ll make in a lifetime – hey, that’s more than everyone I know combined will make in a life time!

While I think it’s ridiculous to pull figures for your children, at least, if you do it, be charitable about it. Take the famous Brangelina couple, who, at the birth of Shiloh in 2006, were paid $4.1 million by People for the pics, all of which they donated entirely to an African charity. Okay so, still not the best idea to pimp out your kid for some dough, but at least, if you’re going to do it (which they all are – can we guess how much Ashlee & Pete will get???), they did it with some class. Read More »

Who doesn’t love a good train wreck like Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears? For us “ordinary folk” (those of us who wear Old Navy, drink PBR and dream of tetris being an Olympic sport) there’s nothing like a healthy dose of tabloid exploitation on those who live in (what at least appears to be) an alternate universe… where dogs wear juicy couture, cars come equipped with mini-bars, breasts double as flotation devices and pocket lint is laced with cocaine.

Is it true though? Or are the tabloids just running exaggerated fantasies to harpoon mass appeal? It’s hard to know because these grandiose lifestyles are perpetuated by the attention drawn to them (unless the celebrity is actually talented). Case in point — the Kardashian sex tape.

Bad publicity is good publicity, I suppose… especially for the venues that become associated with celebrity attendance (who doesn’t want to go to places where you might see a rockstar in a bar fight or catch Paris Hilton stripping down to… well… a slightly more naked version of her usual self?).

When talking about club publicity, nothing turns up the temp on a particular venue more than the drug habits of the celebrities. The scandalous behaviors of one Miss Britney Spears has made headlines for a variety of clubs in New York including an all time personal favorite, Marquee. Yes, she has been caught using drugs in the public bathrooms all around town and she’s not the only one. The question then becomes, of course, how many drugs are being done in these places? Certainly you run a high risk (pun intended) of being caught abusing drugs if you are a celebrity, but what about us ordinary folk? Are drugs swimming through the clubs as the tabloids would have us believe? Read More »

VH1’s “I Love the New Millennium” premiered this week. Much like its fabulously entertaining predecessors mocking the 80’s and 90’s (sorry, the 70’s one predates me), it doesn’t fail to deliver laughs and amusing sound bites. Although I think I Love the New Millennium might be jumping the gun time-wise (they are discussing things that happened, like, last week!), I adore the short-attention-span-theater for the distraction-inclined:

Exploring all the pop cultural guilty pleasures, memorable products and people, disgraces and debuts, fads and fashions, scandals and sensations.

With clever and over-animated comedians dissecting and reflecting on everything from metrosexuals to Dance Dance Revolution to Sudoku, you can’t help but giggle at the off the wall and politically incorrect observations. In honor of the show, I decided to take a yummy walk down pop-culture memory lane from 2000-2004. Here are some of my personal favorite memories from the new millennium…and the ones I despise.

New Millennium Favs:

Napster- The inspiring illegal innovation that started it all. Thank you, Shawn Fanning, for changing the musical and digital landscape.

Uggs- I don’t care how hideous they are and how far-gone the trend is, these babies keep my tootsies toasty on the way to class or, if I’m feeling really lazy, at the bar. Read More »

Hottie of the Week
I can’t believe that I’m going to say this – but if you forget the infidelity and the fact that he probably gets his hair Japanese straightened, Mario Lopez has a smokin’ body.

Song of the week
Katy Perry, “I Kissed a Girl”.
I hate this song.

Freak Show
Verne Troyer/Mini-Me sex tape. Why don’t they just pour acid on our eyes?

Am I the only one who thinks that Jennifer Lopez would be absolutely frightening if you pissed her off even just a tiny bit? FYI, you may get the store discount if you ask nicely and don’t have your bodyguard show a gun to the shop girl. Read More »

Dear Hulk Familia,

Please, please go away.

I’m not asking much. I’m just really tired, Hogans. I’m really, really tired of seeing your creepy mugs (and arms and abs…Linda, cover it up!) all over the place, doing and saying more ridic things by the minute.

So, like, two years ago, you were happily filming VH1’s Hogan Knows Best. You seemed like a normal enough family. Hell, that was the whole premise.

And then, It Began.

First there was the separation. Linda and Hulk, I thought you guys were forever! Well, frankly, I was sorry to hear it. I felt bad for you that things had gone awry.

Then Nick got in an accident. At the tender age of 17, he had his first precious DUI.  Not only that, but he managed to take out his best friend, putting him into a lifetime coma. It is a very sad story. However, Nick didn’t seem to feel bad for his friend at all. In fact, he has been too busy whining about jail and how awful it is. Yes, jail is horrible. That’s the idea. Don’t drive drunk and ruin your friend’s life. Read More »

Pete Wentz’s band, Fall Out Boy, for which he is the principal lyricist and bass player, has sold upwards of 5 million albums worldwide. Decadence Records, Wentz’s label, has signed bands like Gym Class Heroes, Panic at the Disco and The Academy Is…, who’ve all turned into massive successes. Clandestine Industries, Wentz’s clothing line and book publishing company, recently opened the flagship location in Wentz’s hometown of Chicago. He’s been busy in his personal life too, marrying his muse, Ashlee Simpson last month. And the two are expecting their first child later this year.

You’d think as a successful musician, entrepreneur and family man, Wentz would want to settle down a little, and soak it all in. Wrong! He’s just gearing-up for his biggest project yet: redefining the way we experience music videos on TV and the Web, as host of MTV’s new show, “FN MTV.”

So we got Wentz on the phone to talk to him about life, music and the next big thing in music video history!

Check out Pete Wentz’s full interview after the jump! Read More »

Couples
I can’t even have a couple of the week because it was couple madness!

Ashlee and Pete got married
Aubrey O’Day and Quddus are together (?!)
Brad and Angelina were freaking everywhere and looking hot the whole time
Kate Hudson’s going for a ride with Lance Armstrong
Jenna Jameson wants to have babies with Tito Ortiz
And there was a little bit of divorce going on

Song of the week
Lil Wayne Featuring Static Major, “Lollipop“…Again, whatever you say, Billboard Hot 100.

The new Indiana Jones movie is out in theaters. Not to worry, Harrison Ford did not break a hip during filming. Read More »

So as I’m sure some of you may have heard, there is a minor wave of retardedly funny animal pictures with grammatically horrible captions. It’s called I Can Has Cheezburger? or simply, Lolcats.

If you’ve been under an internet rock for the past, I don’t know, ever, go to the site, because it’s freakin’ hilarious.

But after you travel to this little slice of pop culture heaven, understand that there is something better than just looking at these cute pictures and stupid sayings:

The ability to CREATE your own lolmammal.

There are few things I have found as satisfying as taking a normal picture of an animal and racking my brain to lose all grammar education I had ever received to make something witty enough to be published proudly on the internet — my photo waiting to be snapped up by thousands of adoring lolerz.

Is this just me?
Or do other people find this really really entertaining??
I mean, I check this sh*t daily!

While it’s sure to go over the head of many viewers (due to relevance, not pretentiousness), the Garfield tributes by Lasagna Cat are some of the most absurdly funny videos I’ve seen in years.

Lasagna Cat (the creation of Fatal Farm, an artist based out of L.A.) has created a bizarro world full of wonky live-versions of the Garfield cartoon strips. Each clip starts off with a hackneyed send-up of Jim Davis’s comic, followed by Lasagna Cat’s take on the strip, rife with fanboy inside jokes (dig the Final Fantasy VI episode, one of the best RPG-inspired spoofs ever) and zonked-out graphics influenced by pot-addled epiphanies.

I would’ve had a seizure watching these vids…if I wasn’t laughing so hard.

If you don’t “get it,” don’t worry - nobody does. There’s nothing to grasp beyond pure, unfiltered ridiculousness. I have a feeling Fatal Farm knows that.

It’s irrelevant. It’s not topical in the slightest. It’s exactly what I’m looking for in a YouTube channel.

(Photo and story via Wired)