[For many of us, sex and college go together like Uggs and snow - you can’t have one without the other. So, we brought in one of Berkeley’s finest sex columnists, Elizabeth, to start a dialogue about the topic (and act) that is very near and dear to our hearts. Every Thursday she will get your day goin’ with a little somethin’ somethin’ that’s on her mind.]

Nina Hartley is an extremely successful adult film star with 650 different video appearances under her belt. Starting off as an exotic dancer in the ‘80s, she is now a published author and an award winning actress for both sexual and non-sexual roles. I met Nina when we both served on a panel about modern sexuality for the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco. I asked her to give me some of her wise wisdom about sex, relationships, and everything in between.

Me: Do you think sexual freedom (through porn, sex outside of relationships, etc.) is good for the advancement women, or detrimental to the advancement of their self esteem?

Nina: Sexual freedom and autonomy are vital components of women’s greater equality in society. We are adults, not children in need of protection. Whether or not a woman’s exercise of this freedom is good or bad for her depends upon her making choices that are consistent with her values and beliefs. When we do things that go against our understanding of ourselves and the world, bad things usually happen as a result. My choices wouldn’t be good ones for very many women, nor would their choices be good for me.

M: We all know the key to being sexy is confidence. Do you have any special advice for being, or even just appearing, confident? Perhaps something you picked up through the industry? Read More »

This was a week for decisions. Major decisions. And boy, did we make them. We elected Barack Obama as the 44^th (and first African-American) President of the United States. And though we didn’t directly choose Michelle Obama (or any of the First Ladies), we did decide who’s hot and who’s not.  We chose between working out at the gym and at home, between babes and nerds, between trendy skirts and patterned leggings. On the relationship side of things, we decided to make the jump from friends to lovers, and subsequently from lovers back to friends. We learned that guys get off on porn (really?), and girls become more fertile by watching Sex and the City. We decided that you shouldn’t spend too much money on dating, and on the proper prep work for losing your v-card.

And now that it’s Friday, take a break from all the deliberations and enjoy the weekend!

David Duchovny has it. Halle Berry keeps getting involved with guys who have it. And you can supposedly add Michael Douglas, Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears and a slew of other celebs to the list(s). But really, what is sex addiction, and do you or I have it?

Sex addiction is not about having a lot of sex or really, really enjoying it. Sex addiction is when someone’s sexual preoccupation causes their life to become unmanageable, demonstrated through a range of behaviors including pornography, voyeurism, masturbation and promiscuity. Over time, the behavior can become more intense as the addict’s need intensifies as they attempt to use sex to escape their problems.

In a case like Duchovny, whose addiction was to internet porn, simply having more sex with your partner will not satifsy the addiction. So much of the thrill and enjoyment lies in obtaining the sex and afterward, the addict often feels ashamed or embarrassed after the episode only to go on to repeat the behavior again and again because they cannot control their impulses.

Like drugs or alcohol, sex addiction dominates your life and is just as potentially destructive, as addicts may turn to prostitutes, go into tremendous debt, lose their jobs, put their health at risk and destroy relationships. It’s not a joke nor is it an excuse for infidelity.

If you’re curious and want to learn more or if you want to know where you stand, you can visit the sex addicts anonymous website or take the 45 questions assessment at sexhelp.com.

Looks like President Bush has been playing some Olympics drinking games of his own.

The Chinese are mean!

Russia takes a break. Georgia disagrees.

I didn’t think it was possible, but Jake Gyllenhaal is lookin’...ew.

In memory of Isaac Hayes…a song. About the menstrual cycle.

Britney’s back, bitches.

Cheerleading - that sh*t is dangerous!

Where has all the porn for straight women gone?

Gossip Girl has been gone too long; how about a little fix?

It’s time to give tequila another shot (pun intended).

Bored at work? This may be the best game of all time.

See the picture to the left? Is this porn to you? Can you see yourself getting all hot and bothered at the sight of this guy?

Apparently, when some women think pornography, they think “hot guy with his shirt off taking out the trash.”

Photographer Susan Anderson and The Cambridge Women’s Pornography Cooperative (which sounds cool but doesn’t have a lot of media attached to it, at least according to Google and Wikipedia) asked women, young, old, rich, and poor, “What really, really gets you hot?” and then proceeded to write a book about it.

According to the authors of Porn For Women, the sorts of things that get us breathing heavy are “beautiful PG photos of hunky men cooking, listening, [and] asking for directions, accompanied by steamy captions: “I love a clean house!” or “As long as I have two legs to walk on, you’ll never take out the trash.””

Uh.

I mean, my grandma would approve.

When I think of porn for women, I think of naked guys doing a lot more than listening, and there sure isn’t a need for any captions.

While it’s pretty obvious this book is a joke, you have to wonder why the photographer and authors thought it necessary to keep it “PG”. Why not have guys vacuuming and dusting in the buff? Read More »

I’m not a porn person.

I know, I know. Shock. Surprise. Gasp.

It’s just never done much for me. I don’t dislike porn, I just don’t understand what the craze is about.

Now, look, every once in a while one comes across an image or something late night on HBO that she doesn’t mind staring at and using later, but actively seeking pictures or movies has never been something I’ve put my time into. Not because I’m not a sexual person, not because I’m embarrassed, and not because I think it’s “wrong” for girls to enjoy pornography.

I just don’t like it.

For one thing, the guy is never attractive. If he’s not hairy, he’s fat. If he’s not fat, his face looks like it got run over by a truck. A big dick doesn’t make you hot. It just means you’ve got a big appendage attached to and ugly face. There’s nothing less fantasy-worthy than a good-looking girl getting rammed by a gross dude—at least for a woman. It just reminds me of all the mistakes I’ve made.

Secondly, I find hard-core pornography disgusting. There’s nothing gross about the sexual act, but there is something unappealing about a 10-minute close up of a blow-job. I already know what that looks like, thanks. Read More »

No, I’m not saying that it’s gone for good, but with recent online advancements, the huge industry is going down.

The New York Times reports that “the established pornography business is in decline — and the Internet is being held responsible. The online availability of free or low-cost photos and videos has begun to take a fierce toll on sales of X-rated DVDs. Inexpensive digital technology has paved the way for aspiring amateur pornographers, who are flooding the market, while everyone in the industry is giving away more material to lure paying customers.”

Some of these amateur photographers happen to be college students. Take the example of Indiana University co-ed, Keira, who caught a lot of heat for the amateur soft core porn site she was running out of her dorm room.

With free options like this, who needs to go out to the store and actually spend money on a DVD?

Read More »

Considering I’m a girl, I would say that I tend to watch porn a little more than usual. Sometimes so much so that my girlfriends think I’m strange—not that they don’t already think I’m strange for a million other reasons. I’ve even gone so far as downloading porno-flicks from my boyfriend’s share-files when I’ve become bored with the material I already have.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t sit in my room and watch Jenna take it from behind 24 hours a day, while burning out one double-A battery after another. I simply enjoy some erotic entertainment and a sexual “boost”—shall we say—every now and then, when pleasuring myself.

It’s totally natural.

While pornography is clearly an industry targeted at pleasing men—more so than women—it does have its moments when both men and women use it as a means of stirring sexual arousal; and more often than you would think.

In a recent study it was discovered that men tend to look at a woman’s face, more than anything else, when viewing a pornographic image. Whereas women reportedly focus more on genitalia and spend more time viewing images of other couples having sex, than men.

How often do you watch porn?

Read More »