I’ve been on birth control since I was 17 years old. For a few years I was on Ortho Tri Cyclen, then I changed to Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo because my body reacts crazily to any kind of drug. The Pill has served me well over the years; keeping my periods semi-regular, keeping them relatively short and light, and you know…keeping the babies away. But here’s the thing: I’m kind of tired of it.

The biggest reason I’m tired of my Ortho Lo is because whenever I miss two pills in a row, no matter what freaking color they are, I don’t just get spotting — I get my period for two whole weeks. It’s just about the opposite of fun, and it happens a lot. Oh yeah, and additionally? Sometimes even when I don’t miss a pill, I’ll get my period early. No warning. Just BAM, welcome to cramps and have a great day!!!

I haven’t had a long term relationship for a while and I’m really over my hook-up days, so the only reason I’m still on BC is to keep my periods regular and short, and if that isn’t really happening…why the crap am I even bothering?

After doing a little research online, it seems like getting off birth control can be a tricky thing. It can throw your body wayyy out of wack, give you headaches, and possibly cause your face to break out — something I am never ever going through again.

So here I am, stuck at work, pissed off that my period is almost 2.5 weeks early, but scared to actually do anything about it. This is where you come in, lovely readers. Are any of you going through this? Have you gone through this in the past? Do you recommend taking a break from birth control?

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to satisfy my second chocolate craving in three weeks.

I can easily pinpoint my caffeine addiction to my first year of college, when I worked part-time as a barista at Starbucks. I distinctly remember going to my Starbucks at 8:00 a.m. and demanding that one of my coworkers serve me espresso after espresso while I crammed for my 10:00 class.

Since then, I’ve gone through phases of white chocolate mochas, skinny vanilla lattes (when I realized how many calories are in a WCM), energy drinks, caffeine pills, and, of course, a good ol’ cup o’ joe (or twenty). My caffeine tolerance is so high that I can finish sugar-free Monster, and be in bed, sleeping, an hour later. I’m pretty sure that’s not healthy.

I’m well aware of the health problems associated with caffeinated products– I’ll probably get tumors from my sugar-free energy drinks, and I’ve already suffered heart palpitations from Stackers energy pills, but that’s a whole different story. And now this; a new issue has for me to worry about. A recent study has suggested that too much coffee can decrease a woman’s chances of getting pregnant, at least for women already diagnosed with fertility problems. Read More »

Spring has been an announcement kind of season for the Ashlee Simpson/Pete Wentz camp, starting with the April announcement of their engagement, which was promptly followed by an announcement denying that they were expecting a baby; then an announcement confirming that they were, in fact, expecting a baby; then an announcement denying of the confirmation that they were; then an announcement denying the denial of the confirmation that they were; then an announcement confirming that while Ashlee might not (or might?) be with child, she is, in fact, with, um, album. Ahem.

Then that announcement was overshadowed by the announcement on May 7th that the two were planning to get married in a week’s time, which then lead to an announcement that the two did get married, segueing to an announcement that they were honeymooning in a basement (which was later revealed to be a lie, but they didn’t make an official announcement about it so it doesn’t register on my finely-tuned radar).

Now this week the eyelinered newlyweds have made not one but TWO announcements, the first being that Ashlee is no longer Ashlee Simpson, Joe Simpson’s Retirement Plan Part Deuce, but Ashlee Wentz, (get ready for the second announcement) Pete Wentz’s Knocked Up Wife. That’s right, folks, she’s pregnant not just with an album but also a baby. Awwww. I wonder if they’re identical or fraternal? Read More »

I’ve sought out emergency contraception three times since 2002. In the first part of this article, I shared the situations that got me into trouble. In this part, I’ll share how I got out, and my experiences with the pill itself.

TAKE I:

So, I find myself in trouble, due to two factors: first, the drunk and condom-free attentions of my (newly ex) boyfriend, and second, his unwillingness to deal in any way with the consequences. I solve this problem as I solve all others: by turning to lady friends and Google.

My roommate Kristin and I look up the “morning after” pill, and discover that there’s only one clinic within driving distance that prescribes it. We also discover that EC is only effective if it’s taken seventy-two hours after sex; thanks to my post-breakup moping, I have about twelve hours left. It will take two hours to reach the clinic. We scramble to the car.

When we arrive at the clinic, I am escorted into an exam room, where I meet a blonde woman in a lab coat. I explain my situation, and ask for the EC.

She shakes her head at me. I see pity in her eyes.

“I can’t prescribe those pills to you, honey,” she says. “I’m a Christian.”

This is the precise moment when I start crying. Read More »

I’ve gone to a doctor for emergency contraception three times. Every experience has been different. The first two instances occurred years apart; the second and third happened within months of each other. I’ve gone whilst in monogamous relationships, and after casual sex. I’ve gone to a doctor’s office, an emergency room, and Planned Parenthood. Only one thing remained the same: I was never ready to get pregnant.

EC, for those not in the know, is a blanket term for a variety of medications that change your body’s chemistry to reduce your chances of getting pregnant. Plan B is the most popular, and it’s wonderful for many reasons. Yet, with the exception of the occasions on which various looney-pantsed individuals have pitched a fit about its legality (because we all know that unwed mothers are sacred to the right wing), very few people talk about it.

Because I think this is lame, and because I enjoy sharing a bit too much about my body, I’ve decided to give a run-down of my EC experiences. I’ve split it into two parts: The Problem, in which I almost get pregnant, and The Cure, in which I don’t.

Read away. Read More »

It seems “the pill” is the only drug losing popularity in Hollywood. Can Juicy Maternity handle the baby boom?

Minnie Driver is now one of many pregnant celebs complete with their very own website to celebrate the joys of expecting ! She’s joining the ranks of 24’s Mary Lynn Rajskub, Halle Berry, Gwen and Gavin, who are expecting their second, the unsurprising and to-be-confirmed Brangelina, Jessica Alba, AND Ethan Hawke’s ex-nanny (to his children we presume). The Bellini baskets will be going like hotcakes!

Parenthood is the new Chloe bag, and if Nicole Richie can pull it off, Little Spears just had to jump on that bandwagon. You can practically hear Brit screaming “She’s copying me!” from UCLA’s medical center. Let’s hope Jamie Lynn didn’t take K-Fed out of her speed dial on the off chance she keeps her little bundle of scandal after toughing out the pregnancy… He’s full of post-partum career tips, and maybe can even write a birthday rap! Read More »

Finding ourselves restless and deliriously ADD by Christmas night, my sister and I escaped our minimum security prison (i.e. home) for a movie date to see Juno, that new film with uber-talented Ellen Page, so-endearing-you-want-to-bite-him Michael Cera, and Jennifer Garner.

Anyway, halfway through the movie I realized how strange it is how much pregnancy has been belittled through the media lately? First there was Knocked Up, which basically made a huge (and addictively funny) joke out of getting preggo off a one-night-stand, something I’m sure girls everywhere didn’t exactly have on their Christmas list.

Then, there’s the crazy celebrity baby boom what with J.Lo, Nicole Richie, Jessica Alba, oh hey and now, the Mini Spears, now that’s hot. With so many preg-celebs with tabloids booming, “Mommy-to-be-still beautiful as ever!” and whatever else they cook up, I just feel like everwhere I turn it’s preggo this preggo that. Read More »

As I mentioned once before, I have issues with my birth control.

In fact, with all the horrible side effects like the migraines and weight gain I feel like the only reason the pill is even working is because it is preventing me from going out to find someone to have sex with. And I am not so sure that is how it is supposed to work.

I have attempted to stick it out for the past six months, but, considering I have been sans sex for quite some time, I am about ready to throw in the towel. My doctor – always the optimist – didn’t like that idea.

“Lauren, I know you joke about being a crazy cat woman, but you will have sex again someday and you might regret your decision to stop taking birth control.”

She had a point. Maybe one day I might again have the urge to do something besides catch up on my TiVo on a Friday night. You know; like go out and meet a man. And have sex. She recommended a different form of birth control that minimized the side effects that have been haunting me for months.

Unfortunately, this one presents a whole new slew of problems. Read More »

• I really wish my contribution to society was “:-)”! I’m really jealous…seriously. (Wired.com)

• So, wait, it’s breaking news now that people like to look at attractive people and it only takes a half second to notice them? Any horny college kid could’ve told you that. (Yahoo News)

• If you have a tramp stamp, beware! All of those pregnancies that your stamp has been causing is going to make birth a lot more painful. (wsj.com)

• Bad News: You’re in college and weed is still illegal. Good News: As long as you’re not a raging pot-head. (denverpost.com)

• I almost forgot Halloween was coming. So, just in case you love candy as much as we do at College Candy (ha) check out some sweets that never made it onto store shelves. (i-mockery.com)

Good news for all of us sexually active birth control laden ladies. Studies show that our trusty BC may now protect against cancer! Just like tofu, but not like tanning beds!

According to the recent British study, which looked at 46,000 women over a 36-year period, taking the pill cut the risk by 12%. A whopping 12%!

Of course, there are the downfalls (there are always the downfalls.) If you take the pill for less than 8 years, you are covered in that measly 12%. If you take it for more than eight years, the study showed that the likelihood of cancer was raised 22%.

While breast cancer was not included in the decreased risk category, bowel, ovarian and uterine cancer was reduced in the ladies taking the pill for less than 8 years.

Finally, just a tiny bit of good news for the large percentage of women that have HPV. If, of course, you didn’t start doing it when you were 15, because a decade of birth control use can double your chances of getting uterine cancer. Read More »