They’re trooping off to the polls in the biting November chill, snug in their Uggs and North Faces zipped to the collars. They’re waking up too early and standing around in long lines for something that isn’t free food. They’re American college students, and they are voting.

Smell that? That’s the smell of freedom. Also, American college students don’t shower much.

Are you with them - or are you against them? Political nihilists beware: the jaded, “The-electoral-college-it’s-a-broken-system-f**k-I’m-moving-to-the-Moon” attitude won’t get you anywhere this year, because cynicism is out and passion is in! If it’s such a big stick up your ass, go vote for Bob Barr or something. If he’s not on the ballot, write-in “John from College Candy.” But please, do go and vote.

And what about this evening? You probably don’t have anything important to do while you watch poll results stream in, and “Nation’s First Black President” or “Nation’s First Woman Vice President” are both perfectly acceptable reasons to skip all your classes tomorrow. This means you should drink! Read More »

What are you waiting for? Get to those polls!

It’s been a while since a turned 18 and became legal, but I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I have never cast a vote — not for a local, state, or national election. My first opportunity to vote was the midterm elections in 2006, and I just wasn’t informed enough about the House and Senate to make a smart decision. So I didn’t.

The other thing that paralyzed me, and that made me think it wouldn’t matter if I voted even in the presidential election, was the electoral college. I’m from good old Massachusetts — you know, the first state to legalize gay marriage, the so-blue-we-don’t-even- see-the-color-red state, the most liberal state in the union. There is never a contest about who wins our state’s votes. In fact, the politicians don’t even try; in the last election, I didn’t see a single presidential campaign ad.

So why bother voting? My vote amounts to a spit in the wind, and as long as we’re not talking about national popular vote as an option, things are going to stay that way. Still, though, I felt a renewed urge to cast my vote this year, because more than ever it seems like a year when a tremendous amount is at stake. Like hundreds of millions of others, I’ve seen my country slowly going down the tubes in the past eight years. It’s gotten a lot harder to be proud of my country, and I see the ideals it stands for increasingly obscured by smoke.

That’s when I found out that several states — including my college’s state of New Jersey — have voted to pledge their electoral votes to the winner of the national popular election. Hot damn, my vote counts for one vote again! It’s a very exciting and rebellious move on the part of several states who are tired of only Ohio and Pennsylvania getting all the love.

So I registered! Read More »

Everywhere you go people are talking politics.

Who ya gonna vote for?
What is his stance on foreign policy?
Will there be a debate?
Is he qualified?
Can we survive 4 more years with Repubs running this country?
Can the Dems handle this crisis?!

It is time to stop with the party bickering and focus on bringing the government and this country back together. It is time to unify. And nothing unifies people more than good looking men.

So, since you’re gonna be exposed to all these government dudes anyways (they are deciding our financial future as we speak, and are all over the news), you might as well look at the hotties.

(Editor’s Note: We attempted to find some seriously good looking guys in Congress, but that proved difficult. Seriously…most of them are so old.  We’re bringing you the best of the bunch. You know, guys we wouldn’t drool over on a normal day…but they have power! And they wear suits!)

These dudes make me want to move to Capital Hill. Some even may make me consider switching parties not totally hating the other party. Click on each picture to get the full story. Read More »

5. Put YouTube terminals in the voting booths
You wanna know something? Us college kids are really just big magnets. If you open a dumb video of an overweight thirteen year-old kid singing a pop song from the Falkland Islands, every single student within a mile will be chuckling over your shoulder within fifteen seconds.

If our presidential candidates really want to get the 18-24 crowd out and voting, they should start making films of themselves running drunk and naked across the interstate. Right now, candidates are mostly remembered for being a bunch of lumpy old guys who still haven’t lowered the drinking age. They can do so much better: the McCain/Romney version of “Daft Bodies”, for example, would totally steal the election. I’d vote for them.

4. “Reframe the debate”
This year, the American people are concerned with economic something and whatever with foreclosure blah blah drilling offshore and climate change, very important to something Iraq timetable mumble mumble. Man! The issues are tiring! I need a nap!

So it’s not surprising that college students don’t get out to rep their favorite pols. All they talk about is boring crap that sucks! You know what college kids like? Movies. It’s what we care about. “Iraq” is far away and hard to pronounce properly. All those cutthroat late-night debates need to be centered around the real questions — the tough questions, the ones that will get students waving big posters and burning their underwear.

“I understand that Christian Bale’s a great Batman, Senator Obama, but what’s up with that police run-in? In light of his creepy bevhavior, have you reconsidered your recent “pro-shirtless Bale” position?” “Senator McCain, what’s your stance on Pierce Brosnan singing ABBA? Awful enough to be funny, or just awful enough to suck?” “If elected, what measures do the candidates plan to take to ensure that George Lucas doesn’t ruin another franchise, ever?” Read More »

Looks like the McCain campaign (ooo! that rhymes) is taking a turn for the worse. As if aligning with George W. wasn’t bad enough (what, with the recession/housing crisis/war/daily stupidity), McCain has another skeleton in his closet.Well, a skeleton with implants.

It looks like Meghan McCain, daughter of the presidential hopeful, had a lovely and intimate lunchdate with the one and only, Heidi Montag. No one knows for sure what the purpose of the meeting was, but I can assume the following topics were discussed: Read More »

It’s time for the news with Kandy Korrespondent!

On Monday, California performed its first round of legally recognized same-sex marriages. Among the first love-birds to say the magic words, were Robin Tyler and Diane Olson, the original plaintiffs in the 2004 lawsuit challenging the gay marriage ban as unconstitutional. In San Fransisco, pioneering gay activists Phyllis Lyon, 84, and Del Martin said “I Do” in a ceremony initiated by Mayor Gavin Newsom.

According to the Los Angeles Times, a record 2,386 marriage licenses were issued on Tuesday June 17th. An average June day’s count is 460. California is the first state to allow same-sex couples from other states to wed. While for most out of state couples such an action is purely symbolic, New York State has said that it will recognize all CA unions.

While marriage-protectionists mainly stayed out of the lime light on Tuesday, they have already begun to plan their campaign for the November ballot initiative banning gay marriage once again in CA.

In Other News:

The crisis in Zimbabwe is beyond alarming. Earlier this week, the secretary-general of the opposition Movement for Democratic Change (MDC), Tendai Biti was arrested as he returned from South Africa on treason charges, “for publishing a document that was explaining a transitional strategy around March 26″. If convicted he faces the death penalty. MDC leader Morgan Tsvangirai was also detained for the third time. Read More »

Oh, she’s just being Miley…via Brett Ratner

This whole “presidential election” thing has got more drama than any MTV reality show

Fess up on those summer plans

My marriage offer still stands, Jonas Brothers

Oscars vs. VMAs

I, too, would rock a “J” tattoo for John Mayer

Once a Samantha, always a Samantha

For those who once tried to rock, we still salute you