We are getting so close to the finish line, I can feel it! (And it feels great, considering how crap-tastic this season has been). There are only 4 designers and the big Bryant Park runway show left! Oh wait.

Just kidding.

There is also a wedding gown. And…wait for it…a bridesmaid dress, too! Hahahaha, suckers. You thought all those challenges were done and you were free, but those crazy cats at Bravo had to put you through the ringer one last time.

But I am getting ahead of myself. How can I not talk about Tim’s home visits?! He watches Korto drum in Arkansas, takes a bike ride with Leanne in Portland (and wears a helmet, which pretty much makes up for the entire season), does nothing with Kenley cuz she has no friends or family, and hangs out with the Jerrel crew. It was all very exciting and touching and blah, blah, blah. Read More »

I never really thought about it before, but being a member of any reality show for an extended period has to make you go crazy. All that competition, all those cameras, all that drama…

And tonight it seems the pressure has finally gotten to Jerell. The dude hit the crazy wall and kept on running. I mean he was talking to fruit and syrup. And he wore a shirt so low that I kept seeing his nips. And that straw hat? What is with him and the hats? Is he channeling Justin Bobby?

But Jerell isn’t the only one goin’ batsh*t insane; it seems that I may be going crazy myself. For a brief moment I actually felt bad for Kenley. No, not because she left her tulle or because her dress looked like something that was more appropriate for the Drag Challenge; I felt bad cuz the girl is an outsider (and I always feel bad for outsiders!).

The poor girl grew up on a tugboat. It’s not her fault she’s a disrespectful and arrogant bitch; whom has she ever interacted with besides a bunch of seamen?

But don’t worry; as soon as that biatch started talkin’ sh*t about the other designers I turned off my feelings and moved on. She sucks and I couldn’t wait to see what the judges thought of her scaley stripper dress. Read More »

Yay! Project Runway was so good last night. So good! It was just like old times; the designers got to choose their models for once, which made this is first episode all season where models started to cry and designers turned on one another. A potential catfight between Leanne-inmal and Suede? Where do I buy tickets?

Then the designers find out they have to design for one another, which is when everything got really fun, because their designs had to be inspired by a certain genre of music.

And someone up above was watching over this situation and fulfilled my dreams of finally laughing at an episode of Project Runway by putting the most ridiculous pairings together.

Here’s the breakdown:
Jerell has to be dressed in rock and roll (where is Leatha Stella when you need her?)
Suede must be donned in punk rock attire.
Kenley is to look like a pop star
Korto has to go country.
Leanne has to rock the hip hop look.

Yeah, this is bonafide comedy fo sho. Read More »

Last night’s episode of Project Runway was strange without Blayne. No “icious,” no hot pink sweatshirts… I felt bad that he had to leave, but I know he is happily lying in a tanning bed somewhere, soaking up the artificial rays.

We are down to six designers now, but only one of them really has any talent: Korto. The rest are just sorta coasting by with their crappy designs, poor quality and total lack of a fashion sense. And that couldn’t have been more obvious than in last night’s challenge.

The challenge was actually an interesting one that we can all connect to. The designers were to create a look for recent college graduates who were heading out into the working world. Oh, and their moms were coming to stir things up a bit.

As I watched the designers attempt to appease both mother and daughter (or in the case of Anna, drag queen and daughter…seriously, did you HEAR HER TALK!?), I tried to imagine how it would go if my mother and I were part of the episode.

“I like black, white, and gray. I like classic lines, but very trendy looks.” I would tell the designer.
“What about this bright orange and yellow swirly pattern? Or these culottes?! HOW CUTE IS THIS LEOPARD SKIRT?!” My mother would react. And then she would somehow guilt the designer into making what she wants me to wear, which she has been doing to me since I was 4. Read More »

Dude, this BETTER be for a video

The Gossip Girl treatment

Get the hell outta Galveston

Real authors everywhere read and weep

MaryKate and Ashley are sh*tty neighbors

Chuckys love J. Simpson

The Project Runway fashion show (spoiler!)

We’re not the only ones…

Stay ahead of the curve: the top 10 colors for spring

Kayne’s Ninja Turtle mash-up!

Michael Phelps swims like a fish, but walks like a duck

America Ferrera is pretty awesome

Who beats up Roger Ebert??!

Janet Jackson goes space-age ugly

I’m not gonna lie: I was drunk when I watched Project Runway last night. It’s not my fault; there was a two-for-one special at Happy Hour and I can never turn down a two-for-one. That being said, I think I need to be drunk every Wednesday night because, 1) pizza tastes so much better after some vodka/soda, and 2) I actually enjoyed last night’s episode.

The challenge this week was to design an outfit for Diane Von Furstenberg’s fall collection. HOLY SH*T! OMFG. WTF?! ROFL!! (Sorry…that last one doesn’t fit, but I just got carried away.)

DVF is a fashion icon. She’s huge! I would sell my first born child to wear one of her dresses. And everyone was super excited to get to work with her, especially Kenley who has never designed for someone that big before. Except, of course, K-Mart and Wal-Mart. In fact, she was so excited she cried. Three times.

Too bad that enthusiasm didn’t translate into her boring dress that I could totally make (and I’ve never even touched a sewing machine). Oh, and Kenley, let’s not tell Ms. Diane Von Furstenberg what is missing from her collection, K? Don’t forget: you have K-Mart on your resume. The end. Read More »

As I began watching last night’s episode of Project Runway, all I could think was “I hope Keith doesn’t make anything with those dumb strips of fabric.” Oh, and I hope Stella goes home/gets paint thrown on her by PETA people.

What I should have been asking myself was “which company bought their way into an episode this week?”

The challenge was to take parts and materials from a Saturn Vue Hybrid and make something innovative from them. Because taking car parts and designing an outfit makes a great designer. I am sure Michael Kors learned how to do just that before he hit it big.

The designers went to town filling baskets with all of the materials. Tim reminded them to be extra innovative, which many ignored as they all attempted to use seatbelts in their designs (much like the tablecloth fiasco of episode 1).

Everyone heads back to the workroom where Keith – stressed by his poor performance…the entire season – breaks out the ‘tude. Not only is he rude to the other designers (yelling at them about the sewing machine) and to his model (basically calling her dumb even though it is his shoddy construction that causes the problems), but he talked back to he judges.

Aw HEEEELLL no. Read More »

Puppies are cute, snuggly Cancer detectors.

This can’t be the actual video, right?

Another book I really don’t want to read, but most definitely will.

You can never trust a man to do anything right.

I will never look at Ramen the same way again.

Why are we so addicted to watching rich people on TV?

Want to hate Spencer and Heidi even more? Find out how much money they rake in…for being annoying.

The Clothes that Got me Laid: better than a wingman.

Everyone hates “Project Runway” this season.

Ugh - I should have been a naval architect.

Looks like I won’t be watching the VMAs after all.