Welcome to Something Old, Something New, a weekly review of a new theater/DVD release and an old release that is in some way related to the new film.

Something Old: Texas Chainsaw Massacre – The Next Generation (1995)
Something New: Prom Night (2008)
The Connection: Both are remakes of classic horror films.

There are three categories of horror films. The first category is the Good Horror Movie. Believable, well-written, well-acted, fundamentally disturbing, the Good Horror Movie is rarely achieved, but when it is it can be one of the most memorable viewing experiences an audience member will ever have.

The second category is the Frickin’ Awesome Horror Movie. The Frickin’ Awesome Horror movie is, in fact, so terrible that it is totally amazing. Sometimes this is intentional (see: Cabin Fever), sometimes accidental (see: Plan 9 From Outer Space), but it’s a delight either way, and makes for excellent group viewings. The final category of horror films is the plain old Generic Crap Horror Movie. A vast majority of horror films fall in to this category and, sadly, the newest version of Prom Night is one of them. Read More »

When my girlfriend asked me on Friday night if I wanted to see Prom Night or Iron Man, I had to seriously wonder if she was kidding. Iron Man was one of the very few comics that I read as a kid, and I was so outrageously excited about the movie that I had seen just about every trailer and read just about every tidbit regarding the movie.

Terrified of another Fantastic Four flop, I checked all of the review sites I could, and everyone was full of praise. So, sneaking all kinds of snack food in our bags, we walked into the theater hoping for the best.

God, did I ever get it. Read More »