Welcome to college, freshmen!

You may have made it through Welcome Week without any run-ins with the campus police (congrats!), but you still have plenty of opportunities to meet them up close and personal.

There are going to be many times this year and well into your college career that you will find yourself surrounded by alcohol. And, naturally, you are going to want to partake. Just beware–while you are navigating the university party scene, your RA’s, Campus Police, and Public Safety units are gearing up to bust underage revelers.

Here are some tips on how you can avoid getting written up before your first semester is over.

1. Don’t act like ‘The Freshman.’

Just because you suddenly have access to alcohol, it doesn’t mean you need to consume ALL of the alcohol at once. Even if the cops are out and about, they don’t have the manpower to hunt down every single underage boozer. So, they’ll zero in on the kid stumbling around with a trash can on his head before thinking twice about the passive mingler. The same goes with your RA, who really doesn’t want to walk in on you peeing in the corner of elevator. Read More »

Heading back to campus? Psyching yourself up to lug giant suitcases across the quad? Rinsing out that Nalgene in hopes of filling it with a cran / vodka combo? (Protip: just fill it with cran and watch all the drunk people say things everyone will forget except you.)

Whatever your attitude or mode of moving in, most likely the majority of you will be settling into dorms you’ve never lived in before. At first, everything is clean and vacuumed and smelling like Glade. At first, it seems like you’ve picked the absolute best place to sleep, study, and veg out after a giant Econ test. But then.

The weekend happens. And suddenly it hits you like a splatter of what you hope is cake: you’re smack dab in the middle of a party dorm.

Here are a few ways to tell you’re living in the Bermuda Triangle of beer and screaming.

As you’re moving in, you notice that you’re the only one dragging a suitcase into your room. Everyone else is hauling dollies of 12 packs.

Your roommates are really friendly! Or…why are their eyes drooping like that?

The community fridge is stocked with liquor, sour cream, and mixers.

The community cupboards are filled with cheetos, salsa, pork rinds, and Alka Seltzer.

It’s Monday night, you’re reading Proust, and it sounds like the people in the room next to you are throwing…what’s that? Quarters? And then cheering? Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 92
Mood: Happy to be home

“Hey!”

I waved at a group of kids standing around a small red Toyota, feeling a pang of anxiety as the car continued to stay small, no matter how close I came to it. This was going to be a tight fit.

“Hey! She makes it at the last second, as always!” Jonathan opened up the trunk and started to push things around in the back. “Thought you were gonna walk home.”

Grabbing my overstuffed bag, Crystal’s boyfriend heaved it into the last remaining empty space in the trunk, pushing it against other bags and backpacks to make room for the door to close. As he jammed the bags together with his elbow, I cringed, thinking about all the clothes, make-up, and hair products that might be exploding all over the insides of my suitcase.

“Thanks again for giving me a ride,” I said, stuffing some loose brown hair into my winter hat. “I would have been stuck here.”

“No prob, bob.” Slamming the trunk, Jon smiled and walked around to the driver’s seat, motioning to the two other people already in the back, “it’s probably gonna be a tight squeeze, but it’s only like 2 hours. We can make it.” Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 88
Mood: Not good

“How long did you stay?” Rebecca threw a pair of socks into her suitcase and looked up from her underwear drawer. “Did you listen to their entire conversation?”

“I had to! I didn’t want Public Safety to know I was sitting there!” Standing by Stacey’s mirror, I poked around her jewelry, moving pairs of pearl earrings and fake diamond bracelets in an attempt to find a ring of mine that had disappeared a few weeks ago. Stacey was big on barrowing without asking.

“Did they talk for a long time?” Closing one drawer and opening another, Rebecca continued to pack her bag. She was leaving early for the Thanksgiving holiday, a fact I had not received well. Three whole days living in a room with Stacey by myself spelled absolute misery.

“The cop said they had heard about a party at the Soccer House the night before, but of course Sasha denied it.” A flash of jade stood out from the mess of cubic zirconium, and I carefully began to untangle my ring from one of Stacey’s cheap necklaces. “He got all mad at the cop. Said they were being unfair…staking the house out and stuff. He said it wasn’t politically correct.” Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 87
Mood: Kinda freaked

“So, should we start?”

As much as I could have stared back and forth from Sasha’s eyes to his friend’s bare chest forever, I didn’t want to spend my entire Saturday at the Soccer House. Eventually, the rest of the guys were going to wake up, and I wanted to be out of there before I was surrounded by some of the most infamous people on campus.

Maybe the rumors weren’t true. Maybe the Scandal everyone was still whispering about had been blown out of proportion, but as far as I knew, Sammy still wasn’t in class, and Public Safety had been seen patrolling around the Soccer House at night way more than usual.

Rumors always come from somewhere, and I wanted to be out the door before I found out just how close to the truth they were.

“Sure. Let’s start. I just gotta run upstairs and grab my book.” Sasha stood, kicking the table in the process and flinching. “Of course I forgot my book. Be right back.”

Jumping over the side of the couch and heading toward the stairs, Sasha clunked up the steps, his bare feet making enough noise on the old wood to wake up the entire house.

I stared down at my Chemistry book, turning the pages and pretending to be so interested in the equations that I had no idea the half-undressed guy was still in the kitchen, rummaging around in the refrigerator. I let my hair fall into my face, doing my best to stay quiet and blend into the old green cushions. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 69
Mood: nervous

“We’ve got a few minutes before class is over, if anyone has any questions about anything…” Professor Mullen looked around the room, taking her glasses off her face and leaning against the board.

English 205 was one of the harder Freshman English classes, but word of mouth had made it one of the most popular, especially with guys. Professor Mullen was around 35, tall, blond, and aggressively smart. She had a good sense of humor but wasn’t afraid to put people in her place, and most guys had a thing for being “reprimanded by Ms. Mullen”.

“What about the soccer scandal?” A girl in the front of the class raised her hand, a bunch of pink bracelets clanking together on her arm. “Don’t you think the school should be doing more to find out what really happened?”

People who had been dozing during the lecture suddenly perked up, and my notebook doodling grinded to a halt. Next to me, Rebecca stiffened, and I could feel her eyes slide over to my face. Read More »