Yeah, if you’re Tila Tequila or, I don’t know, flippin, uh, Rockefeller or something, you can just whistle for your limo and whisk off your date to some exotic location, awesome food, and, eventually, your giant purple bed.

Otherwise, if you’re, oh, say, a college student with not a lot of moolah (and therefore many fewer options), summer dates tend to digress into long walks and the occasional movie night. Now, I love walking and I have been known to thoroughly enjoy a good movie night, but sometimes you want to do something a little more special–without draining the last few bucks in your bank account.

So, dear College Candies, here are a few ideas. Use your new powers for good and not for evil.
Eh, what the hell. Use ‘em for evil too.

A Day at the Beach

Frick, man, who doesn’t love the beach?! Pack up your bathing suit, a picnic lunch, sunscreen, towels, some balls, and your date (and your date’s balls…optional) and head off for a lovely day. Read More »

I was born in New York, I live and work and play in New York, and chances are I’ll die in New York (hopefully not too soon). So I’ve taken a lot (lot LOT) of rides on the subway and the Long Island Railroad. And it has mostly sucked.Yesterday, during one subway ride alone, I experienced three (THREE!!!) subway faux pas(es?) during a 45-minute commute. Look, enough is enough. The time has come, my friends! Rules must be set in place. Action must be taken.

So here, for your thoughtful perusal, are my 8 Arbitrary Rules of Public Transportation:

(1) Thou Shall Not Hit Others In The Head With Thy Weave.
I’m minding my own business, listening to Weezer and wondering whether or not I’m going to be late to class, when these two women with orange faces and giant sunglasses (you know what I’m talking about? you know what I’m talking about) get on the train and sit practically on top of me. They are screaming about some other women that they apparently don’t like. And then–Weave Woman, who has the LARGEST blonde ponytail you have ever seen, WHACKS me in the face with her “hair.” This happens four more times before I finally can’t deal and I move. She never says sorry. Weave Woman, learn the rules. Read More »

“I’m only stopping in for one,” were always the last words I uttered on some of my biggest nights out. The second they escaped my lips, regardless of how much I meant it, I always ended up partying until at least 8 in the morning.

I was lucky, and more times than not, made it back to my apartment in one piece—though getting my key into my askew lock was mission impossible most of the time. There were a few occasions I woke up in an unknown location (“ok, I do know you… but how did I get here?”).

On one of my worst homeward bound adventures, I decided it would be a wise idea to take the bus. I would save money by not taking a cab. The bus stop was right outside my apartment. It was daylight—why wouldn’t I use public transportation? I’ll tell you why.

I woke up half way across the city, with a wing to the bus all to myself. The second I opened my eyes, all I could smell was vodka and smoke—which kept people away from me and the surrounding seats open due to the vile smell seeping out of my pores. Read More »